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DDRN4me DDRN4me (New Member) New Member

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got this in an email this morning, thought i would share!:paw: :paw:

pet rules

 

to be posted very low on the refrigerator door - nose height.

 

 

dear dogs and cats,

 

 

the dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. the other dishes are mine and contain my food. please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do i find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

 

 

the stairway was not designed by nascar and is not a racetrack. beating me to the bottom is not the object. tripping me doesn't help because i fall faster than you can run.

 

 

i cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. i am very sorry about this. do not think i will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. it is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. i also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

 

 

for the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. if by some miracle i beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, bark, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. i must exit through the same door i entered. also, i have been using the bathroom for years --canine or feline attendance is not required.

 

 

the proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butts. i cannot stress this enough!

 

 

to pacify you, my dear pets, i have posted the following message on our front door:

 

 

to all non-pet owners who visit & like to complain about our pets:

 

1. they live here. you don't.

2. if you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. that's why they call it "fur"niture.

3. i like my pets a lot better than i like most people.

4. to you , it's an animal. to me, he/ she is an adoptedson/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.

 

 

remember:

 

dogs and cats are better than kids becausethey:

 

1. eat less

2 don't ask for money all the time

3. are easier to train

4. normally come when called

5. never ask to drive the car

6. don't hang out with drug-using friends

7. don't smoke or drink

8. don't want to wear your clothes

9. don't need a gazillion dollars for college,

and...

10. if they get pregnant, you can sell their children.

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LOL!!!! Love it!!! Would take my dogs over most peoples kids any day!! Thanks for the chuckle!!!!

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OK, I read this to Twister-cat. I got to the second sentence (about the other dishes being mine with my food). He yawned, looked over my shoulder, yawned again and started licking his belly.

I don't think he cares much for the rules. :lol2:

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I love it!!! I'm printing this out and am going to put it up somewhere. My MIL and her neighbor both have cats, I know they'll like it too.

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Thats soo funny...yet so true. I will be adding this to my email list!!

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e x c u s e m e ! ! !

you waited until i had 6 children to list this??????

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:lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :roll :roll :roll :D :D :D

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Hmmmmmmm I wonder what size font I should use so my cats can read it easier? :idea:

Especially the bit about the bed :lol2:

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Loved it, thanks for sharing. :spin:

Will have to have a talk with Sabrina and Austin about not wanting to move from my pillow.

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Bella, or "BELLY" as she is fondly called, took one look at THE RULES, and headed straight for her litter box....

I forgave her....she' an only cat, so she has no siblings to take this out on!

Here's to furry "people"!!

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