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sweet~revenge sweet~revenge (New Member) New Member

Does anyone else have a problem with Enablers?!

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I'm 30 yrs old, 5'4", 180 lb, size 14/16. I'm not morbidly obese or anything, but I'm not healthy at this point in my life. I finally decided it's time to lose some weight and get back in shape. I used to exercise regularly and eat healthy, but over the last few years I've just eaten whatever I wanted and have been pretty sedentary.

I'm stocky, carry my extra weight pretty well and am good at hiding it with the clothes I wear. I've had a lot of patients and coworkers ask if I played softball in high school because I just have that body type. If I worked out, I think I could develop good muscle tone pretty easily. Lately whenever I tell family or friends about my weight loss plans, they usually say things like, "Why do you want to lose weight? You look fine." Then they want to go out to eat and get upset if I try to order something healthy!

This drives me crazy! I'm not fine, I feel tired all the time, my heart rate is always in the 100's, and I'm overweight! I appreciate that people think I look good the way I am and that they're trying to be nice, but this does not help me. For one thing, it makes me feel like it's okay if I just go back to eating junk and laying around which is not acceptable. It also makes me feel like I have some kind of body image problem, which I know isn't true but it bothers me when people say I look fine.

Has anyone else had this problem when trying to lose weight? How did you deal with it?

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You are not alone! I am 33, and weigh 170 (which has been my baseline for a while). I am only 5'3". I need to lose some weight, Like you, I hide it well and dress for my body.

My problem is that I eat what my family eats. I really do not have the time to make my own special meal or the income to eat differently than my family. I watch my portions with my meals although I drink more soda than water (bad) and love chocoate and chips (bad, bad!). I am definitely a chick that loves her food.

Work alone is not enough. I need to work out. I have been thinking on investing in a work out tape to use at home or enroll in a gym. I need to do something as well. I do not enjoy being overweight. I know that I need to eliminate alot of the junk out of my diet and get actual cardio into my regimen.

Do you! Get in shape if that is what you want to do! Do not listen to what others have to say, necessarily, even though they mean well. You have to feel good about yourself.

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My problem is that I eat what my family eats. I really do not have the time to make my own special meal or the income to eat differently than my family. I watch my portions with my meals although I drink more soda than water (bad) and love chocoate and chips (bad, bad!). I am definitely a chick that loves her food.

I assume you mean husband and kids when you refer to your family? If so, they shouldn't be eating unhealthy things either! Now is the perfect time to overhaul everyone's diet and get the whole family on a good track. Think of the head-start you will give your kids on a road to healthfulness!

In my home, our diet is comprised of roughly 75-85% fresh fruits and veggies, with lean meats and whole grains/quinoa making up the difference. Sure, we buy snacks, but we choose healthier options, like nuts, whole grain crackers and hummus. I will admit, it's NOT cheap to eat this way, but it's WORTH IT! You can either pay for fresh, whole foods now, or pay for medicines and treatments later on. The choice is yours...

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Healthy convenience foods tend to be pricey on the surface but when you start to really micro analyze food costs and what exactly you're paying for the difference isn't all that much. Companies invest tons of money into advertising and studying consumer psychology and shopping habits. Who doesn't love a bargain? So they push "value sized" or "extra" or "whatever % more free!" products on us. They make reasonably priced food seem like a rip off because "LOOK AT HOW MUCH MORE I'M GETTING FREE!" but it's not really free and we end up spending more money and buying more than we would have because we feel like we got a deal. If you've ever bought popcorn at the movies you know what I mean. We end up with a ridiculous amount of extra food that we didn't need in the first place and no one wants to be wasteful so it gets eaten. It's hard to get out of the mind set that says I'm wasting money because I'm getting less if buy this product rather than that one but if you can do that eating better will be easier because you won't have all that extra food lying around and what you do have will be better for you.

If you don't mind cooking then eating healthier can be pretty cheap (although relatively time consuming). Whole grain foods and legumes like rice, beans, buckwheat, pasta, etc., are cheap, can be used in a variety of ways, and can be stored for a long time. They are also very filling and can be used as a main dish or sides if you like to have a meat main course.

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I don't tell anybody I am on a diet or trying to lose weight.

If everyone wants to go out to a favorite restaurant and gives me the look if I say I'm not hungry or order a salad I order any regular fattening meal and have learned to bring a bunch of napkins and or a plastic bag in my purse. No one has ever caught me sneaking the food from my plate into my napkin or the plastic bag, I even put a bite into my mouth chew and then "wipe my mouth" and spit the food into the napkin and then into my purse or plastic bag. Also no one notices if there is a communal dish of french fries for example if I just pretend to take one and put it into my mouth. They have never noticed I didn't even pick one up, my hand was empty

Sounds gross but I have lost a lot of weight.

I later throw away the food or give it to my dogs.

Honestly though as I get older I tend to just tell people the truth and if they can't handle it the heck with them! I am not hungry, or I am on a diet, and tough if you can't handle the truth.

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I guess I'm lucky because 95% of the people that I hang out with are exercise fanatics, so they get it. The 5%, see what we represent and want to jump on the bandwagon. ;) When I go out with the 95%, we'll order the healthiest choice. Yeah, I know that that may sound like we are food nazis, but it's not that way at all; we are just conscious about our choice of 'fuel'.

I have had people make semi-compliments such as, "You've lost a LOT of weight. You look sick." :poop: I smile sweetly at them and say, "Thanks for noticing. I work hard at it."

Own your choice to live a healthy life. Own your decision to lose weight. Own it, I say. :smokin: Be proud of yourself! I don't deal with enablers or anyone who attempts to bring negative about my lifestyle choices.

Edited by Poi Dog

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I don't tell anybody I am on a diet or trying to lose weight.

If everyone wants to go out to a favorite restaurant and gives me the look if I say I'm not hungry or order a salad I order any regular fattening meal and have learned to bring a bunch of napkins and or a plastic bag in my purse. No one has ever caught me sneaking the food from my plate into my napkin or the plastic bag, I even put a bite into my mouth chew and then "wipe my mouth" and spit the food into the napkin and then into my purse or plastic bag. Also no one notices if there is a communal dish of french fries for example if I just pretend to take one and put it into my mouth. They have never noticed I didn't even pick one up, my hand was empty

Sounds gross but I have lost a lot of weight.

I later throw away the food or give it to my dogs.

Honestly though as I get older I tend to just tell people the truth and if they can't handle it the heck with them! I am not hungry, or I am on a diet, and tough if you can't handle the truth.

This is not normal behavior. This is indicative of eating disordered behavior. Get help.

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I also need to lose weight. I can lose 20lbs easy, but thats it, anything past that is hard. Eating really healthy is expensive and I honestly can't afford to buy it for my family. Not that we eat bad. I always make sure my kids have fruit in their lunch and so do I. But we eat white bread and we eat pasta (it's cheap lol) We eat alot of chicken, but we eat ground beef and steak to and I'm really the only one who will eat fish besides tuna. It's hard to eat super healthy when you can't afford it. My bf and I are both full time students and I have 2 kids! I buy the best I can for the most I can for what I can afford! But what I do now is always bring my lunches to school so I don't buy crap. Instead of chips, I try to buy rice chips etc. Just healthier alternatives for the things I know I am really going to want. My bf is definitely the enabler though. He eats like absolute crap and way more then he should and always brings it into the house. I ask him to help me and support me in healthier eating and losing weight (that way he gets the benefits to) and he says yes and then like a day later it's all out the window. It gets tough, I just try to tell myself I can do it. Good Luck

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I don't tell anybody I am on a diet or trying to lose weight.

No one has ever caught me sneaking the food from my plate into my napkin or the plastic bag, I even put a bite into my mouth chew and then "wipe my mouth" and spit the food into the napkin and then into my purse or plastic bag.

Sounds gross but I have lost a lot of weight.

One approach I like more than this is to just go ahead and eat and then wait until you have hunger pangs.

What really infuriates me is when someone sees me eating fresh fruit and vegetables from the store and they look at me like I'm stupid or make some disparaging comment or start an argument. I despise people who call me a "health nut" just because I happen to like raw foods and when I eat them to get rid of depression.

I also found it helpful to move out of houses where they manipulate me into stuffing my face or where they insist on keeping junk food around.

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Stop trying to simply lose weight. I know plenty of small people who are not healthy. Please just live health by exercise, nutritious, healthy diet, and healthy lifestyle. You will benefit so much more than simply loosing weight.

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