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Do you think your life is hard?

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You are reading page 2 of Do you think your life is hard?. If you want to start from the beginning Go to First Page.

Like almost everyone else who's posted in this thread, I encourage you to get help if life is overwhelming you. So many of us have been to the edge of the abyss, and something has pulled us back every time or we wouldn't be here to answer your question. :)

As recently as this past winter, I had a crisis that I didn't even recognize as such until the night I threatened to commit suicide. While I do suffer from bipolar disorder, I've thought about killing myself maybe twice in my entire life; but I had about two dozen 1 mg Ativan tablets in a pill bottle and told my husband and a couple of the kids that I wanted to take them all and make the pain go away. Fortunately, I realized even in the throes of this episode that I didn't really want to die, I just wanted to not feel for a while. Feeling hurt too much, demanded too much, and I didn't want to do it anymore.

I'm telling you this story to illustrate how I've come to feel about my life and how challenging it is with numerous physical problems and mental illness: I am grateful beyond belief! All I ever wanted out of life was to matter....and not only has that happened, I've been abundantly blessed with family and friends, a great job, a home and material goods, and most of all the love of God. How can I complain when I've been given so much?

That's not to say I never have bad days, or wonder why so many things have to be more difficult for me than they are for the "average" person. I get tired, whiny, petulant, angry. Sometimes I even throw myself a pity-party. But compared with so many other people on this planet, I've got it made.

So is life 'hard'? Depends on what the individual considers it to be. I've had people say "Omigosh, I don't know how you deal with all of this." To which I always respond:

What is the alternative?

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As mentioned above life is all about perspective. If someone expects life to be all rainbows and unicorns they will be deeply disappointed. A pretty good example of perspective would be.... If I woke tomorrow and my bank account showed I had $1M I would think I was rich, if the same thing happened to Bill Gates he would think he was broke.

One of the discussions we had in my Abnormal Psych class was the suicide rate for post op transsexuals is much higher than the average. One train of thought was perhaps the patient assumed having the surgery would "fix" their life. When, after the surgery, they found their life still had trials and tribulations so they became severely depressed. The patient's had convinced themselves that all their life needed was the surgery and everything would be perfect. Which of course isn't the case.

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My life has been hard at times. But these times have shaped me into who I am. One of the hardest things was I found out my husband was chatting on a dating website and met up with girls when i was working nights....3 months after our wedding. Newlyweds! I didn't know how I would ever come out of that....its been about a year...and I still struggle with trust, its still really hard. But I clung to my hope in Jesus, and the fact that my husband is a flawed human being, and yet I committed to him no matter what. We did counselling for 6 months and are still picking up the pieces...but things are looking up.

Happiness is about decisions and hope. I could have left him, but I made the decision to turn things around.

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Hey lifein08:

Here's what I know so far... being born and being human itself is hard. Being human means, we are programmed to struggle and try to survive all through our lifetimes. Along the way, we might be lucky enough to find the 'peace of mind' mentality, co-existing with our struggles. What we chose or where we go in life dictates who we become and eventually, who we are. We will always have struggle as long as we live, which is why we have to (hopefully) be wise in the choices we make.

Just think of how we exist. . . we wake up, get ready, get dressed and go to work, school, etc... Anything can happen on our way there? We struggle to pay our bills, with our relationships, people, careers (if any), or even just having a job! This is our fate, it's just life. For many of us, these are the only struggles we've chosen to have. For some people, they decide to add to their struggles ---> having babies they can't afford, addictions, more wrong decisions, etc. Eventually, they find themselves more depressed than ever?

Growing old itself, is another struggle! But, it is just part of life. Existing will always mean struggles, this is why people shouldn't ADD more struggles to their lives (NOT more than they can handle). If they decide to do this, then, they will have a hard time finding their 'peace of mind' -- this leads to other outcomes. Now, for people who aren't responsible for their 'additional struggles' (ex. medical problems); they don't really have a choice but to cope and hopefully, experience what the medical advances of the 21st century can offer.

Sometimes, I wonder about the rich humans who still get lost in their paths and develop their addictions. You see, even with money, people still struggle.... as long as they exist.

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As I get older and think about my life so far, I know I've lived my life 'confused' for the most part. Also, I've been immature and have made my mistakes. I've had regrets, etc. and wished that I've done some of the things in life differently. But, even when I'm 'confused,' I've always known what I never wanted. Though, my struggles were/are not as 'hard' as some people I know (and this is partly, because of the choices I've made), for the most part -- I wouldn't trade my choices for anything.

Hopefully, I become what I am meant to be someday. I still have 'some growing up to do' (at least, this I know). Oh, I know I'll struggle just like everyone else... but I choose to be here in the long haul. No matter what happens, I'll always try to have 'peace of mind' I may still be a little 'blurry' on what I want, but at least, I do know what I don't want.

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My life has been hard at times. But these times have shaped me into who I am. One of the hardest things was I found out my husband was chatting on a dating website and met up with girls when i was working nights....3 months after our wedding. Newlyweds! I didn't know how I would ever come out of that....its been about a year...and I still struggle with trust, its still really hard. But I clung to my hope in Jesus, and the fact that my husband is a flawed human being, and yet I committed to him no matter what. We did counselling for 6 months and are still picking up the pieces...but things are looking up.

Happiness is about decisions and hope. I could have left him, but I made the decision to turn things around.

you are clearly a better and stronger woman than me, andrea.

i wish you both the very best of everything.

leslie

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i truly believe that each and everyone of us, is where we are supposed to be...

suffering and all.

we are born into life as eternal students, ideally assimilating the (life) lessons that have been predestined.

knowing/believing this, i am perfectly ok with whatever comes my way.

in the meantime, if any other person learns from my experiences, (whether active or passively learning) that much the better.

it all comes to fruition, when believing that each of us is teacher and student...

and that this interdependence is just another way to illustrate that we are all connected.

even when it's bad, it's all good. :redbeathe

leslie

Edited by leslie :-D
editing

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I have so many ways to go in answering your question.

Firstly, my life is wonderful, not hard at all. I am at a perfect place in my life (I can't believe I can actually say that, but I can). BUT.....it hasn't always been that way and could change tomorrow. I suffered some pretty debilitating depression as a teenager due to some bad situations. Never thought about suicide exactly, but would have felt relieved to know that I wasn't waking up to the pain the next day.

My favorite aunt committed suicide when I was 20. It took me a long time to get over being very angry at her. It just seemed so selfish. I now know how desperate she felt and it was her only way out at that moment (or so she thought). My father attempted suicide that same year, but it was more a cry for help. He has since been diagnosed bipolar, manic and has PTSD, so it all makes a lot of sense today.

My faith has helped me through many bad times in my adult life. I know that God is watching out for me. He may see things differently than I do, but I'm not alone.

Like everyone else, I hope that if you are asking this due to personal issues, that you get some help and guidance.

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Life can be hard, circumstances hard, and everyone's idea of hard is different. You gotta try to pick out the good. Find a friend, talk to your mother or favorite cousin, a minister a counselor or a mentor. Keep a journal. The good thing about hard is it is temporary. What seems imposssible today, will be something that will not bother you when you know better, you learn, you grow. Suicide is permenant, and there are alternatives. My favorite mantra "this is a temporary situation, it is gonna get better, different, exciting". I am by and large not Buddist, but I really love the books that explain some of the teachings of Buddism. They are just so refreshingly positive. NOT that I am suggesting you run out and become Buddist, but if you enjoy reading, this could be something that touches your soul in a way that makes you think differently.

As an aside, the way the OP writes is amazing. If I were you, OP, I would start a blog......JUST saying......

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Interesting topic. . .

I think that life just "Is". It is my "belief" that viewing life as "hard" or "easy" is a matter of perception that varies from individual to individual and even from culture to culture. For me, it just "Is".

We are all born. . . we are all going to die. In the middle is a whole lot of "trials" and a whole lot of "tribulations". There's also a whole lot of learning, adjusting, not adjusting, re-learning, appreciating, hating, loving, fearing, more fearing, the ability to find one's "strength" and "courage", losing one's "strength" and "courage", failing, succeeding, and re-learning some more. How we perceive all of this is unique yet dependant, to a certain degree, on our culture and up-bringing. For many, there is a "Higher Power" involved. For many there isn't.

Although it may seem like I speak in broad generalities, it really is how I perceive life to be for me and for the rest of the world.

But. . . right now, as has been for these past several months, life is a challenge. Family health issues are the challenge. Currently, I'm not coping well, or at the very least I'm coping as best as I can.

Now. . . here's another topic worthy of discussion. How does one COPE with all of what life brings us?? I would love to hear/read everyone's thoughts on this. :)

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I went through a period in my 20's through the depths of despair where I saw no light at the end of the tunnel, wallowing in addiction, jobless over a year, deep in depression and I nearly died. I made it through and as God is my witness I'll never go there again. Never.

Today my life is for the most part easy and not a lot of stress and I'm happy and I'm abundant in blessings.

I do know that with myself aging and with aging parents there are many more hard times to come. I'm ready.

Edited by Tweety

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