What are dealbreakers for you?

  1. -I won't date someone who doesn't workout. From my experience, someone who doesn't workout doesn't 'get' why I am pulled to the gym 5x a week. Argues with me about me workouts (yea, I respect that esp. from someone who hasn't worked out since high school). Questions my motives for going, tells me that "I am going to look like a man if I lift heavily" (I had one Mensa actually say that). Peace out, homes!

    -Clingy (wants to be with me all the time, calls/texts constantly asking what I'm doing). Ewww! Doesn't respect that I have a 5 football fields space requirement. I am not one to be controlled. Tries to make me feel bad because I need my space...often.

    -He is jealous that I have a lot of guy friends and puts my guy friends down (big no, no!). Ponders out loud that I must have slept with them at some point or that I want to sleep with them.

    -Wants to get intimate on the 1st date Bye!

    -Does not respect that I am independent and yes, I am doing just fine on my own.

    -No sense of humor, doesn't get my sarcastic humor.

    -Is rude...no need to elaborate on that.

    So, what are your no fly zones?


    Poi Not Settling Dog
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    About Poi Dog

    Joined: Dec '09; Posts: 4,696; Likes: 11,358

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  3. by   Hygiene Queen
    Poor hygiene:
    It's pretty hard to get around that one!
  4. by   TheCommuter
    It's a definite deal-breaker if the man is developmentally 'behind.'

    Several years ago I met a guy through an online dating site. He was 29 years old and had never left his childhood bedroom. He worked part-time at a hobby shop for minimum wage, so his mom and stepdad were his primary source of financial support. He was not attending school, doing anything to better himself, or making any immediate plans to leave that childhood bedroom.

    Although he was a nice guy, I was looking for someone with more ambition and drive in life. Mentally and emotionally, this guy was a preteen boy trapped in an almost 30-year-old man's body. It was almost as if something intangible and invisible was holding him back from experiencing adult life. He became angry when I told him that it wouldn't work out between us.

    This guy would have been the perfect boyfriend for me 15 years ago, back when I was in high school. However, I am looking for someone who is more independent, goal-oriented, ambitious, bright, and open to new experiences.
  5. by   TheCommuter
    BTW, other women probably would have dated the guy that I mentioned in my above post, secretly hoping that they would be able to 'fix' him, 'change' him, or make him want certain things out of life. After a few years of wasted effort, these women will break it off and throw in the towel.

    My point is that you cannot change a person's core personality. You cannot change someone or bestow more desirable traits upon them. The seeds of ambition must be planted in a person's youth; therefore, we cannot make an ambitious striver out of a slacker. Many people, especially women, get involved with men with plans to 'fix' them and it backfires.
  6. by   wilsonbl5150
    #1 - SMOKERS. There is nothing good or sexy about a filthy, smelly habit that can kill.

    Also someone who always has to be doing something. I like to be active and sociable but I also like to just chill.

    We MUST share a sense of humor.
  7. by   elprup
    Smoking! Yucky illegal drugs, no way. Drinking more than socially, nope. Negativity nope, been there done that with abusive ex.Potty mouth, nope again. Bad teeth, nope. No job, nope. No goals, nope again. No humor or not optimistic, nope. Doesnt like animals or kids and/or is rude to anybody, nope. I want a gentleman, happy with his life, has goals for future he is working towards, humorous, and is nice towards all. And a connection. I met a nice guy yesterday who told me I should have a boyfriend...maybe that was a hint? I have been so out of the loop....he left his card, maybe Ill call him.
  8. by   TheCommuter
    I agree with the post directly above. I cannot deal with a man who is addicted to certain substances such as alcohol or illegal drugs. I'll also cringe if he has poor dentition in his mouth. Compulsive gambling is another big fat 'NO.'

    Another deal-breaker is a man who is too impulsive. I prefer someone who actually thinks before taking action. Too many people act on sheer impulse and dig themselves into deep holes.
  9. by   PMFB-RN
    Quote from TheCommuter
    Another deal-breaker is a man who is too impulsive. I prefer someone who actually thinks before taking action. Too many people act on sheer impulse and dig themselves into deep holes.
    *** Oh the irony! As a man who prefers to carefully think out major decisions (not every decision, just major ones, I really can just pick a place to eat with little planning), and having been dumped be several girls for my lack impulsivness. I find this post ironic.
  10. by   KendallAZ
    Quote from elprup
    Smoking! Yucky illegal drugs, no way. Drinking more than socially, nope. Negativity nope, been there done that with abusive ex.Potty mouth, nope again. Bad teeth, nope. No job, nope. No goals, nope again. No humor or not optimistic, nope. Doesnt like animals or kids and/or is rude to anybody, nope. I want a gentleman, happy with his life, has goals for future he is working towards, humorous, and is nice towards all. And a connection. I met a nice guy yesterday who told me I should have a boyfriend...maybe that was a hint? I have been so out of the loop....he left his card, maybe Ill call him.
    Call! Call!
  11. by   GHGoonette
    Is this only about dating? I've been off the market so long I don't care about a guy's bad habits, only if they're easy on the eye Don't like blokes with bad breath YUCK! There's one very good-looking dr who is booked intermittently in our theater, but you can't get too close when he's talking to you.

    Nope, nothing more than window shopping for me.

    However, if you're talking about business, that's another matter. I won't do business with any man - or woman - who thinks I'm a fool and a pigeon for their plucking. Got some work done on my house recently, and had a bloke come around to quote who had the cheek to tell me the work on my roof would cost 300 grand (local currency, not $$$!) I held out my hand and said "it's been nice knowing you" and showed him the door. According to feedback from the company that referred him he was rather surprised.
  12. by   leslie :-D
    Quote from PMFB-RN
    *** Oh the irony! As a man who prefers to carefully think out major decisions (not every decision, just major ones, I really can just pick a place to eat with little planning), and having been dumped be several girls for my lack impulsivness. I find this post ironic.
    yeah...well...()...otoh, some people like spontaneity too.

    i too, have been "out of the game" for a long, long time.
    but being happily married for nearly 25 yrs, i know what i appreciate in a partner.
    as for true-blue "dealbreakers", their negative qualities would have to be pretty darned serious, for me to rule them out completely.
    i've learned that flexibility is highly advantageous in making relationships work.

    that said, other person would have to be sensitive, secure, and supportive.
    i can't/won't demand intelligence, although it'd be ideal...
    since there are many sweet, sweet people out there, who still aren't "intelligent" per se. (i believe all of us have one form of intelligence, no matter how covert.)
    still, if anything ever happened to my marriage, i would be very content remaining single and celibate.
    just me/kids, my dogs, nature, and peace.
    i'm absolutely fine with that.

    leslie
  13. by   applewhitern
    Bad breath is the number one deal-breaker for me. Last date I had was with a CPA, good-looking, successful, but could smell his breath from across the room. We went to a casino, but I sneaked and called my son to come and get me! Never heard from him again, thank goodness.
  14. by   nursel56
    Quote from leslie :-D
    . . .still, if anything ever happened to my marriage, i would be very content remaining single and celibate.
    just me/kids, my dogs, nature, and peace.
    i'm absolutely fine with that.
    So am I -- which is a huge change from my previous self. Maybe I took after my mom, who said to me one day, "I never broke up with one guy until I had the next one lined up."

    But if I had to choose dealbreakers, they'd probably be:

    BO, green teeth and horrible toenails (the hygiene thing)

    Someone who says, "men are genetically programmed to a) cheat or b) ogle every nice rack or butt that walks by"

    Someone who says, "wow you're really smart" when you mention the name of the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court. I do understand not everyone is a news junkie -- but c'mon! People who lack curiosity about the world around them are just boring to me.

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