My boyfriend is being a jerk!!! Help!!!!

  1. Please help!!!

    I've been in a relationship going on 4 years now and things haven't always been easy. We've had struggles with infidelity(not on my behalf) and communication. Before I started school I throughly explained that my free time will be limited due to me having to study. I'm also a single mother and I work full time(we work together as well, same shift etc). He seemed to support me at first(the only thing he would say is "just don't forget about me") and I've apologized several times that although I would like to hang out, and goof off I can't. I have to study, on top of that I have to try and make time for my child. He's been constantly texting my phone complaining about how selfish I am, he's tired of feeling like he doesn't matter, his needs aren't being met. Let's be honest after working 12 hours overnight then going to school for 8 hours everyday sex is the last thing on your mind! All I want to do is sleep and study especially on my weekends off! I don't know what to do anymore! Please help!!!
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    About NessaLashaee

    Joined: Oct '18; Posts: 2; Likes: 1


  3. by   ponymom
    So why tell this board...back him off and tell him. You took the pig back after he was unfaithfull, so he (understandably) figures he can continue to do and act the way he wants (he probably sees you as weak and swayable). Don't be surprised if he uses your schooling (lack of free time) as an excuse to have another affair (if there isn't one going on already).

    Good luck to your kids.
  4. by   NurseSpeedy
    He is being a jerk. I would explain to him that the situation is temporary and you just have to finish school. If he still has a problem, well, maybe it's time to move on. Given his past behavior I wouldn't feel bad leaving that baggage behind but I'm probably being a bit biased knowing he has a history of being a b-hole.

    If your education will also leave you making more than him once you complete your degree this may be part of him acting out. I don't know why, but some men have a real problem if their partner makes more then them. I have been told this by some of my guy friends and I've been in a relationship where my career was thrown in my face more than once ("I should have just married a cashier"....well, I didn't hide where I worked or what I did for a living during the first three years of our relationship, so you had time to back out if this bothered you so much...).

    Good luck with the BF. If he's worth your time he will understand and support you. If not, then I wouldn't let him stop you from completing your education. You are worth it.
  5. by   NessaLashaee
    You're absolutely right
  6. by   neonn965
    I'd break up with him.
  7. by   Swellz
    I think you need to have a conversation with yourself and then a conversation with him. You really need to assess your relationship. There's nothing we can do to help you with this, but I am sorry you're going through it.
  8. by   dream'n
    You and your child come first always. You are in school to improve you and your child's life. If he doesn't like the amount of attention you're giving him, tell him too bad not sorry.
  9. by   cleback
    If you guys were married or engaged, I'd advise to schedule some time so at least the relationship isn't completely neglected between everything you have going on.

    But y'all are just dating and not even exclusively so (on his part). And it sounds like his main complaint is just sex, so he can wait.
  10. by   Luckyyou
    I'd be pretty quickly telling him what he can go do about his "needs". Ugh.

    Dump him.
  11. by   Horseshoe
    Quote from NessaLashaee
    Please help!!!

    He's been constantly texting my phone complaining about how selfish I am, he's tired of feeling like he doesn't matter, his needs aren't being met.
    If your future grown up child had a partner like that and asked your opinion, what would you tell her/him?

    Yeah, that's what I thought. Dump the selfish loser.
  12. by   Been there,done that
    As a nurse, you will need to prioritize.

    For now, YOU and the kidlet are number one.
    School and work are number two.

    Philandering unsupportive needy boyfriend.... doesn't even make the list.

    It's hard.. but get past your emotional attachment to Prince Charming.... for your sake and the kidlets sake.
  13. by   brandy1017
    Boyfriend already was a jerk when he cheated on you. Why are you still keeping him around. Take the others advice and dump him.

    I really wonder what women get out of these dead-end relationships? I see so many nurses that put up with losers who cheat, live off them, mistreat them and their children and for the life of me I don't get it. It especially irritates me when children are involved. They shouldn't be caught in the middle of a bad situation. It seems there are so many women so desparate not to be alone they will put up with anything to have someone and that is just sad and worse for the children.
  14. by   hherrn
    I think your title may have an extra word in it. Is it still accurate If you remove the word "being"?

    I don't know him or you, so can't really judge definitively. But what you are describing is somebody who is a jerk.

    Are you thinking you can turn him around, fix a couple things, and he'll be a great guy?