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Dating Hot MEN

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Tweety, some of my girlfriends have that same problem re Insecurity and I have to frequently dare them or talk them into asking a guy out they like. The secret is to try and forget that you are trying to get their No. If you can get anyone to talk to you for more than three minutes, you are well in. Just be interested in something sensible when you approach them. Women have to get over that it is the man's job to ask you out. I date younger guys all the time but only for fun, not the physical, because in my experience unless they are over 28, they are pretty much useless. I like younger men's energy and stupidity and the babbling and boasting. I prefer men over 40, they are much better in every Dept. I like confident, secure men who are passionate about knowledge. I rarely have found pretty men with those qualities.

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I don't quite understand.

Are you bashing men 'cause they are young? (energy, stupidity, babbling and boasting) or good looking (pretty boys) ummm, neither of which can be helped.

OR, are you bashing a behavior or set of behaviors?

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I'm happily married, so this doesn't really apply to me anymore. My "criteria" is moot.

However...

Before I took my now-husband up on the offer of a date, I very much chose my partners based on the premise that physical stuff came first then anything emotional and what have you would come later. And hey, if it didn't, I had friends for that.

My best friend convinced me to date him because her philosophy was the opposite. She is a beautiful girl and has typically dated guys for whom she would be considered "out of their league" (her husband included). She said that since he and I could talk for hours without any boredom, pauses in conversation, et al, maybe the attraction would come later. She was right!

Not sure if this really answers your question, but standards can certainly change over time.

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There are men who are both, hot in mind and hot in looks.

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Perspective comes first for me. That means a conversation. One of the most interesting men I ever dated was twenty years younger than me and he was good looking but it was the way he conducted himself. His listening ability was amazing and his interesting novel responses belying how mature he was trying to be. I found it alluring. He was an excellent plaything. And the young always fall in love. Oh, to be innocent and foolish again. We still stay in touch and he's matured into a wonderful man.

I think one's character is easily assesesd through the individual's behaviors. Loud, brash, gregarious as in most young men is a turn off for me. I like quiet broodiness and aloof condescension in a man unless it's been cultivated. Those types are always interesting.

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How is aloof condescension interesting? Sounds like a jerk to me.

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How is aloof condescension interesting? Sounds like a jerk to me.

Because it implies complicated. Complicated people come with history and such people are always interesting, employing novel ways to negotiate the world. Once dangerousness is not a factor in a man, then everything else is interesting. Unfortunately it's rare to find intelligence in a man because testosterone rules no matter how educated they are but aloofness almost always implies superiority from success or delusional intelligence. Either way, makes for interesting.

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Because it implies complicated. Complicated people come with history and such people are always interesting, employing novel ways to negotiate the world. Once dangerousness is not a factor in a man, then everything else is interesting. Unfortunately it's rare to find intelligence in a man because testosterone rules no matter how educated they are but aloofness almost always implies superiority from success or delusional intelligence. Either way, makes for interesting.

What you don't know about men is a lot.

Good luck.

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What you don't know about men is a lot.

Good luck.

Never needed it. But thanks. It helps that I find them all interesting and aren't scared to tell them so and never seek to change them. Comes with being secure and never needing them to affirm me whatsoever.

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Never needed it. But thanks. It helps that I find them all interesting and aren't scared to tell them so and never seek to change them. Comes with being secure and never needing them to affirm me whatsoever.

All secure people toot their own horn as much as you?

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When I was just a young fool in my 20s, I went for the hot men. They were even more attractive if they were hot and bad. I started dating again in my 50s after a 24 year marriage. Now what makes a guy hot is kindness and the ability to make me laugh. My SO is short, bald, and a little chubby. However, he is kind and considerate, and makes me laugh so hard I cry. I think he's totally hot.

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All secure people toot their own horn as much as you?

You're a prickly person, aren't you? I think you missed the point. I don't attention seek or big up myself. That's the secret. Men already find us fascinating. Literally fascinating! By allowing them to always be themselves you eliminate future uncomfortableness. As long as you initially select well and for me, it's dangerousness and bad manners first, then it's always fun. Everyone has a story and they are almost always interesting if you are interested.

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