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Can a fat nurse be a good nurse?

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You are reading page 18 of Can a fat nurse be a good nurse?. If you want to start from the beginning Go to First Page.

I also agree that we should not enable obesity, but what bothers me is to see people who cannot find a way to do that positive action without falling into the trap of simply dismissing the obese as nothing more than a drag on society who should be shamed into losing weight.

Exactly!

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Hmmm, I can't help but chime in here.

While my OP stated I don't really think my weight affects my nursing, I am much different than my fellow overweight nurses (or those defending them) about a number of things being discussed here:

1. I do think it is an epidemic problem, and no............not every overweight person has a disease process/medication causing it. That is, unless you consider depression a disease process. There are many, millions of overweight people who ARE that way simply because of lifestyle. We can't ignore that.

OK, everyone who is overweight because of their lifestyle and bad habits ONLY raise their hand.

[Eriksoln raises hand high in the air]

Yep, I'm one of them. Big time. Me, I attach a lot of emotion to eating. I remember growing up and my parents rewarded me often with dinner at my fav. pizza joint and a VHS movie. A lot of times, the only time I got along with my parents was when we sat down at the dinner table and hashed out w/e we were fighting about at the time. Later, on my own, when I had friends who drank to excess and lived a lifestyle on the edge with other habits I refused to participate in.........I entertained myself with, yep you probably already know............having a movie night at home and ordering out. Eating clams me when I am stressed and lifts me when I am depressed/lonely.

I eat food which is meant to feed the flesh when it is my spirit that needs fed.

I think this thread could be much more productive if both sides took it down a notch. I think people do understand already that not every obese person wants to be that way and probably had a little help getting where they are.

2. I equate MY PERSONAL being overweight to alcoholism.

A. While I was gaining weight and getting bigger and bigger, I didn't see it, not as much as I should have anyway. I once couldn't fit onto a roller coaster ride and of course my first thought was that the Amusement Park was crap, not that my weight was out of control. This is like the alcoholic being in denial.

B. I made many attempts to change my habits, but found my efforts fruitless. Stress, depression and life's general problems always brought me back to...........movie night with wings/Pepsi/pizza just to "relax a little bit". Alcoholics often make many attempts to quit on their own and can not.

C. I've talked about my divorce on here before, people who know me are aware of it. And, the original question was "Can a fat nurse be a good nurse?" so this never came up: Part of the reason for my divorce was my weight. My confidence/desire for intimacy went way down after I was married. My wife never stopped being attracted to me and couldn't understand why I was losing interest in her, but the truth was.............I "could not perform" because I was too self conscious of my weight.

I already mentioned not being able to ride a roller coaster one time. I've also found it hard to start dating because of my weight. Lets face it, the problems that plagued my marriage are still here so, its not as if I'm putting myself out there. Then, you have to consider that, no matter how nice a person is, if the physical attraction is not there, you are wasting your time.

Alcoholics, before seeking help and admitting they have a problem often go through stages of loss. When they've lost enough to overcome their denial, they seek help. The term for this is "hitting bottom". I've hit bottom with regards to my weight and I've sought out help with it.

No one frowns on interventions for someone drinking to excess or hooked on drugs or addicted to gambling. "Interventions" are not nice, often include trying to make the person it is directed at face reality and never happen when said person thinks "its the right time."

But when people try to point out that maybe we should reconsider our weight problem, we turn it onto them, accuse them of lacking compassion or empathy. That is not always the case, but it's been done in this thread. I understand not everyone who is critical of overweight people is in the right, and yes there were a couple over aggressive posters here (and I responded to them in jest). But lets not throw the baby out with the bath water. Obesity is an issue in the U.S. and the thinking of those who are obese has to change for it to be corrected.

I didn't find Irish's comments rude or offensive. Again, I guess I am like an alcoholic. See, while in recovery, alcoholics relate to.....other alcoholics best. AA's principles place a lot of emphasis on the alcoholic reaching out to and helping the other alcoholic. I read Irish's comments and felt what it is AA has known about for years I guess. I saw someone who went through what I went through, understood how I got there and knew what I had to do/tell myself to "recover". I guess I fell that way because I've "hit bottom" with regards to my weight issue and I'm ready to hear it. Not everyone is in the place I am at though, hence some of the defensiveness and crucifying of those who are not afraid to say they think being overweight is a problem.

It is a problem, just not so much that I can't be a good nurse with it going on. Now..........if the original question had been "Can a fat nurse be happy", my original response would have been very different. Although being overweight has not, IMO, affected my nursing, it did affect my marriage, dating life, personal life, finances and health (both physical and emotional) to the point where I am ready to initiate some changes.

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You need to go back and read other posts. This has already been covered.

Sorry, some of these are more argument than an effort to actually effect change in our society...

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you're stuck on "fat", while i am referring to all addictions, re "enabling".

if you choose to feel that i am condemning you and all obese folks, you're dead wrong.

I'm not sure how it matters, but you did say "i will not enable the causes of obesity."

but to my knowledge, the dynamics of ANY addiction revolve around the addict and codependent dynamics, where the enabler's actions result in empowering the addict...intended or not.

This dynamic does exist, but not all addicts have enablers. Further, finding a better way to say things, or just not speaking at all, does not make one an enabler.

 

i posted about my addiction to smoking because i did want you to understand that i couldn't/wouldn't quit.

but i also recognized that whatever physically happened to me, i had no one to blame but myself...

and that is exactly how it has panned out.

Yup, I get that. But having had an addiction yourself, you should also understand what I've been trying to convey to others, that you can't MAKE someone lose weight by shaming them into it or throwing at them, "eat less and exercise...bam, your done!"

and you're correct in that i've taken it very gradually, baby steps, with my husband.

but i'm willing to bet you that EVERYONE on board here, would do the same...

I agree that most would, but based on some responses, I'm not so sure about others.

 

 

yet deeply admire that you were taking this journey.

for the sake of space, most try to express most simplistically, what it takes to get from a to b.

i'm pretty certain they also know how difficult it would be, and how much time it could take.

I get this too, but it should not be an excuse to not take care with the words that they do use.

 

often, it's more helpful if we can just read the message and not condemn the messenger.

It's difficult to receive any message that is packaged badly.

good day.

leslei

\\\\\

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You need to go back and read other posts. This has already been covered.

This whole thread has already been covered. There's a sticky on the general nursing discussion page on the exact same issue FFS.

And yet....we have a brand new thread in order to:

beatingadeadhorse.gif

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deadhorsebeat_2.gif

deadhorse.gif

deadhorse.gif

54941606.Beating_a_dead_horse.gif

Beating-a-dead-horse.gif

deadhorse.gif

beating-a-dead-horse.gif

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This whole thread has already been covered. There's a sticky on the general nursing discussion page on the exact same issue FFS.

And yet....we have a brand new thread in order to:

beatingadeadhorse.gif

68495.gif

deadhorsebeat_2.gif

deadhorse.gif

deadhorse.gif

54941606.Beating_a_dead_horse.gif

Beating-a-dead-horse.gif

deadhorse.gif

beating-a-dead-horse.gif

Everyone chooses for themselves whether or not to follow...

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Everyone chooses for themselves whether or not to follow...

The second one is a bit scary. It shows blood coming out when the smileys hit the dead horse. Graphic. lol

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The second one is a bit scary. It shows blood coming out when the smileys hit the dead horse. Graphic. lol

It does. The one at the head of the horse kind of looks like it's kissing him.

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The second one is a bit scary. It shows blood coming out when the smileys hit the dead horse. Graphic. lol

Beating a dead horse is gorey, dirty business.

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But, couldn't beating a dead horse be considered aerobic exercise, and therefore beneficial for all of us useless drags on society ?:D

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But, couldn't beating a dead horse be considered aerobic exercise, and therefore beneficial for all of us useless drags on society ?:D

IDK, how many calories do you think this thread burned ;) ?

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