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jilly_beans jilly_beans (New Member) New Member

Breaking up...

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I don't really know where to begin. My boyfriend of three years and I just broke up. I was the one that initiated it, but he agreed. I feel so lost. He was my first love, and he was so supportive. He is so nice and caring and wants the best for me. The only thing is, we want such different things in life. I am 21, he is 26, and I feel like he should have an idea of where he wants his life to go by now. He has no goals or dreams and doesn't concern himself with the future. I am the complete opposite. I work hard, try to save my money, and I will be applying for nursing school in the fall. I am always thinking about the future and how I want my life to be. I know I am doing the right thing by not being with him anymore, but I just feel so lost. I feel like he is holding me back from the great life I know I could have.

Today I had a test, and I usually text him right after, and it took everything I had not to. I went to the bathroom and started crying. :cry: It's just so hard. I feel ok with my decision, but everytime I turn around, there's something else I want to share with him or something that reminds me of him. I know it will get easier but right now all I want to do is cry.

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We've all been at the break-up point at least once in our lives. Keep your head up jilly_beans!

Here's some advice that has gotten me through some of the worst times.

1. Find comfort in other people. Text a good friend or a family member what you want to text him. Spend time with those who will be able to comfort you or distract you from your pain.

2. Keep busy. Study harder, go for a run, do jumping jacks -- don't be idle!

3. Cry if you need to, but know you don't have to cry all by yourself. There are others out there in the world who care about you as well!

4. The key to happiness is found in ice cream. If you haven't found the key in the first pint, go on to the second. :up: (and if ice cream isn't your favorite, the key to happiness is also found on your favorite plate of food... my key is usually on a plate of sushi!)

Take care of yourself jilly_beans! [[[HUGS]]]

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My marriage broke up last August. It was a very difficult time for me. I started running as a means of stress release and it worked wonders for me. I never really thought of myself as a runner but I started slow and worked my way up to 4 miles a day. I just started my routine again now that spring is finally here. I kept myself super busy and kept my mind on other stuff. Now I have a wonderful boyfriend who is my biggest supporter. You will meet someone, just focus on yourself during this difficult time.

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((((((jilly_beans))))))

Time heals. Take care of yourself. I like Heather's running/jogging idea. :yes: It's good to keep busy physically and keep your mind busy. And dinobun is right. It is ok to cry. The wounds are still new and you need to get the emotions out. If you hold them in that is never good. One day the silliest little thing could happen and then the full melt down/flood gate of tears will come out. It's best to cry and let it out. If you have a close friend or family member, lean on them too. Many hugs and a shoulder to cry on does wonders for the heart and soul. Know that you have many hugs and (virtual) shoulders to cry on here. :)

I have friends (and a daughter) who are your age and they are all having the same problem. Finding REAL men. Many guys nowadays don't want commitment or responsibility. They want to hang out with their friends, play video games or work out at the gym. There is no drive to do better. They want the big bucks jobs but don't want to climb the ladder to get there. This is becoming so common. To be fair I am sure some guys will say that some girls nowadays are high maintenance princesses. But what can I say? For you.....what you need to do now is take care of you, concentrate on you and your future goals. You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders for someone who is twenty one. :up: It will take time but take it slow, day by day and it will get easier.

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((HUGS)) Get a dog. That is what I did and it was wonderful to have a best friend.

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I'm sorry to see you are hurting. Break ups are never easy. It sounds like you knew in your heart that this was the right decision though, even though it was a tough one for you to make. Like NF_eyenurse said, it sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders for how young you are. You know what you want out of life and it can be hard to be with someone who doesn't seem to have any direction. Take it one day at a time and take care of yourself. Cry when you need to. I also like the idea of going for a run when you need time to think. Time will help you heal your heart and try to remember that it does get better!

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Thank you so much everybody for your kind words. This week has been tough, and I know I still have tough nights ahead of me, but reading all your comments has helped. Just hearing other stories makes me see that I WILL be ok. Just bought a new pair of running shoes today. Oh and Esme, my dog has been my biggest supporter. I don't know how but she can always tell when I'm feeling especially down...

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