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futurenurse'15 futurenurse'15 (New Member) New Member

Being in Nursing program, no more time for boyfriend!

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I'm an undergraduate in college and pursuing my Nursing career. I heard A LOT of rumors/ maybe a fact that once I get in in Nursing program, I would be too busy to have time with my boyfriend or any social life. I'm afraid being in Nursing would ruin our relationship. (If I have to choose though, I'd choose NURSING-- that's my dream job!, but I feel like it would be unfair to my boyfriend) HELP?! Anyone with same situation like me??

Thanks,

FutureNurse'15

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If it's important, you'll make some time. It's true there won't be alot of time, certainly less than you're used to. But that doesn't mean it won't be enough. And if it's not enough time to keep the relationship going, then that tells you it isn't strong enough in the first place.

Plenty of things put strains on a relationship. Pursuing a higher education and potentially achieving a career you have longed for are worth testing the waters.

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I know you don't want to hear this from a crusty old bat like me but.......if your relationship is real. The kind to last a lifetime it will be fine. If it is not, it's better to find out now as nursing school is a minor inconvenience when compared to the grinds of daily life, death, children, illness, and financial woes. good Luck:hug:

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There won't be much time, money or energy while you go to school. Everything will cost more than you budget. You will need to coordinate with study partners, computer time, reading, writing, researching, and lots of other things.

A low maintenance relationship will endure. If one or both of you is high maint., needing parties, clubs, many get togethers with others who like these things I fear doom. If you are comfortable being in the same general area and separately doing your work when others are playing, it has a good chance.

School will not last forever. Your degree will. it is a balancing act. What is that sheepskin and the letters after your name worth? Do both of you agree about the worth?

Best wishes.

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I agree with the posters above. I am graduating in a few days. I have been with my boyfriend since about 6 months before I started my nursing program. We had little time to spend together, but made it work. He understands that school is very important to me. There are plenty of other times in life where you will have to prioritize like this.

I would say just let everything work itself out. If its meant to be, than it is meant to be.

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Yes, it is important to prioritize. Know what your limits are (i.e. actually staying coherent and AWAKE while reading - studying, etc.). But we as humans tend to have a need to be close to other humans we care about (that way). Hopefully, those other humans care about the same as we do. If it's a solid relationship and your "relationship status" is understood as serious, monogamous, loving, etc. and going somewhere then it's worth having. So, ya just have to make time for your bf. Besides, you'll end up missing him anyway. You don't want to end up wondering where he is and what he's doing WHILE you're suppose to be concentrating on school work, right? If you end up missing him, it'll just disrupt your concentration. It's better you know things are going good between the two of you. Goodluck.

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Take if from me who got "Married" b/t the 3rd and 4th Semester of Nursing School at age 19 from the fear of losing her if I didn't (was going to be a long distance relationship as her parents were moving 1,150 miles off). We struggled financially, both worked 40 hrs on the side, and yes- hardly ever saw each other. They didn't have "texting" back then, lol. I don't exactly regret it, but it was EXTREMELY DIFFICULT. I know that single mothers and fathers made it, and their struggle must have been wordless if mine felt extreme. Now the big BUT, . . . .

If I had to do it ALL over again, I learned (2) things to pass on:

1. I would have NEVER married during school. I carry guilt to this day that I let my "wants" over-rule my "needs." If we were meant to be, she would have been there after school, and the demands of a marriage wouldn't have been hanging over both of us. I will always feel like in some ways, Nursing drove a wall between the two of us. The stress, and environment of working as a new grad after further isolated us, it felt like an extension of school while I was in the deep end learning what "real" nursing was like.

2. This should have been (1) but that applied more to your thread (this does too, to the social life part). I would have never moved into that dorm. Most of my friends were taking "liberal arts," and they had plenty of time to party, run wild, and play loud music/TV while I was trying to study, and maintain good grades. When I would come back from clinicals exhausted spiritually, mentally, and physically (with an exam the next day), it was rough with someone jumping on my bed! I guess it would be different if it was ALL nursing school students, but those days were over- and these were my HS friends. They didn't understand the difficulty of Nursing School vs. Liberal Arts- and I often got that "You aced school and NEVER took home a book! Why are you studying all the time?

My point is much shorter than my rambling. FORGET social life, family (for the most part), hobbies, and friends (especially a significant other (unless they totally understand your situation)- and pretend you are becoming a Nun. It will feel like your entire life is on hold for the next two years, and ALL your efforts, strength, and abilities will be busy projecting you through this program. I watched my Validictorian from HS flunk out of 3rd semester. I watched teachers flunk out. Your new friends will be "Nursing School Students." You will get a new set of parents, they are called "Instructors" and "Professors."

As far as a "New" Signifcant Other- You will see many of your new friends becoming "friends with benefits," but that's a different post. And usually becomes very awkward, yet entertaining gossip- Yes, guys gossip as much as women do!:jester:

Great Luck Whatever You Decide to Do!!!!!!

:redbeatheBoston

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It seems FutureNurse '15 has already vacated the conversation.

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If the relationship is important to you, you will find the time to spend together, and if it means a lot to him, he will also understand that your time is limited right now and will understand that you're also very busy with school and enjoy the time you can find for him. I have been with my fiance for 6 years and we were together 5 before I started Nursing. I lug all of my books over to his house every weekend and spend Friday-Sunday with him, sometimes I am able to make it Thursday-Sunday, and I study over there. It may be the foundation we were able to build in our relationship before nursing school that is keeping it working with such ease and that he has been able to adjust and understand that I have a lot on my plate with school...you can make it work, you'll just feel as if you have no time solely for you and you only...but I've lived that way for years and I'm still pretty content. Best of luck!

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