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Anyone else have zero friends?

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Well, I have made the decision, after 39 years on this earth, to completely give up trying to have friends, and just concentrate on the Lord, my family, and just trying to be a better person, maybe.

I've always been a crappy friend. I always either try too hard with people, or I don't try hard enough. I would like to have at least two or three really good friends outside of my family, but I just don't know how. My husband, kids and I have started going to church on a regular basis, and even joined a church. We've talked about becoming more involved in our church; becoming closer with our church "family" would be a bonus, I suppose...

I just hurt my oldest and dearest friend; they are apparently not speaking to me now. So... hence my decision to just give up.

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I'm a little older and have several good friends, one who I could tell anything to and lots of acquaintances. In this day and age what with family, work and volunteer commitments I realize I'm not always the best friend either.

I say this so that you know its not just you.

I remember when I first got married, 30 some years ago, I was overseas, in the military, had several really good friends. I got married, had a child, got busy with life and over the years, my friends changed. I still have one good friend from when I first got married, but even we have grown apart. The internet helps.

I now have "compartmentalized" friends for lack of a better word: I have work friends, fire dept friends (I'm a volunteer firefighter), etc..

My family on the other hand has expanded to include 6 grandchildren who keep me very busy. As I've aged, I realize what is really important and spending time with my family is my priority at the moment.

Things evolve as they should I guess is what I'm rambling on about.

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I don't really have any local friends anymore. I have a few scattered throughout the world, but we don't stay in touch as much as we should.

As I grew up and my priorities and interests changed I grew apart from most of the people I grew up around and hung out with in my early 20s. It seems darned near impossible to make new friends. I can find folks that I enjoy chatting with and what not, but making that leap into the friend category where people actually get together and what not is challenging.

I've got my mom, who is totally dependent upon me right now (she finally left my sad sack of a father). Otherwise, I've got the people at work. Oh, and my cats.

I've never been married and don't have any kids. Insert foreveralone.jpg here.

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i have lots of aquaintances, and a handful of ppl i would consider a friend. i consider a friend to be someone you could call in the middle of the night for an emergency and s/he would be there with no ????s asked. for me, that is mostly family and i am ok with that. good question, got me thinking!

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I have three friends who I can call at any given time for anything. These three would *bail me outta jail and vice versa. :smokin: *just statin' a fact*

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Thanks for the replies. The friend that I was referring to is someone that my husband and I have known for over 20 years. My husband and I *didn't* do something for our friend... something that would have been very difficult to do, but something that I still feel like we should have done. I've messaged this friend on Facebook a couple of times since then; he has not messaged me back and I'm worried that his feelings are so hurt that he doesn't want to talk to me.

Of course I immediately felt "Well, if I can't keep this friend, I guess I can't keep ANY friend" :(. The truth is, I have a decent number of friends, but only two or three that I just feel like I could call on at anytime for any reason, and they are unfortunately ALL people that I only get to see once in a blue moon. I have one local friend whom I consider a very good friend, but I would never feel comfortable burdening her with just anything. I have a couple of so-so, okay friends, and then a handful of acquaintances.

I feel like, to make a really good friend, you have to actually spend a pretty good amount of time with that person. A work friend is an excellent example. Unfortunately for me, in the past few years, I've only had a couple of work friendships actually survive one of us leaving that workplace. Right now I'm working agency; I go from unit to unit and while I LOVE what I'm doing, I don't get to spend much time getting to know any of my coworkers.

To me, friendships are SO complicated, and good ones take so much time and effort on the part of BOTH parties, just like any relationship. It's like... with family and work and taking care of a house, plus community activities, church activities... trying to just BE

with and spend quality time with my family... I don't have time for friends! It makes me feel bad, but then I realize what a terrific family that I have, and I guess it really doesn't matter so much.

Still.... this old friend in particular, he's just like a brother to us. My husband and I talked about the situation, and hubby basically said not to worry so much about it; "Cory" is a strange guy, he's always been a little flaky, and just because he hasn't answered my messages doesn't mean that he's as upset as I think he is. My husband

agreed that his feelings may have gotten a little hurt, but... not enough to never speak to us again!

Edited by NurseCard
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nursecard, i'd give cory some space for now.

he just might need time to think about things.

nothing wrong with you sending a note to effect of "thinking of and miss you", and leave it at that.

when he's ready, he knows where to find you.

leslie:)

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