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Another RN friend files bankruptcy

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Sorry folks but you need to get off J. Bailey's back. I would bet dollars to donuts this young man is a good spouse, supportative of his family, proud to bring home the bacon so his wife can spend time with the kids while they are little and need her.

Down the road of life, it may be necessary for his wife to work, at that time I bet this young man will do what is necessary to see the kids still get good care. This guy loves his family, is a responsible, tax-paying citizen, and if this situation is good for his family, who are we to say his life style is wrong or narrow?

Bless you J. Bailey, RN...

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Sorry folks but you need to get off J. Bailey's back. I would bet dollars to donuts this young man is a good spouse, supportative of his family, proud to bring home the bacon so his wife can spend time with the kids while they are little and need her.

Down the road of life, it may be necessary for his wife to work, at that time I bet this young man will do what is necessary to see the kids still get good care. This guy loves his family, is a responsible, tax-paying citizen, and if this situation is good for his family, who are we to say his life style is wrong or narrow?

Bless you J. Bailey, RN...

The only one judging someone else's lifestyle is J.Bailey. I'm not attributing the downfall of society on men who think women belong in the home.

I don't care if he's a good spouse, as I'm not married to him. What I do care about is the perpetuation of the notion that men and women are not equal partners. No matter what a couple agrees to do: childcare, SAHM, SAHD, WAHP, whatever, is there business and there is nothing wrong with any of those decisions. I also care about the utterly absurd notion that we have a downfall of society when 100 years ago women didn't even have the right to vote! Whenever anyone says it was better years ago, I question their knowledge of history.

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Women who have children belong at home taking care of those children. Men belong in the field earing a living. I understand that can't always happen, but in an ideal world it should and we should look kindly on women who choose to be home makers.

The downfall of society came when we gave our childen to daycares and women gave up their duties at home. Stay at home mom's have my utmost respect and deserve much praise.

Yes, I am a conservative and damn proud of it. :)

Please add "in my opinion..........." or "it is my opinion......." LOL

Everyone is entitled to their opinions here at Allnurses and all opinions should be treated with respect and respectfully disagreed or agreed with in a manner that sticks to the topic and not about a poster.Several things happened begining in the 70's when women decided they could do more things that be a nurse or a teacher, and that decided that college was a time to learn and not just to find a husband. Also economic necessities occurred that require two incomes for the American dream.

America is big and wide and many women love to be supported and stay at home and raise kids. Many women also want careers and their men stay at home. Many men only want to control women by keeping them dependent. Other men are very secure in the collaborative relationshiip in raising a family. On and on and on and on................

In other words one should not pass judgements on another's lifestyle choices.......in my opinion.

Yeah I'm liberal and damn proud of it.

:argue:

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Moderator note: Please stick to the topic, and not an individual member as those posts will be deleted. Thanks.

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wow! Somtimes I forget that I am from a society of people who can be so inconsistent. As nurses, we work in one of the most disrespectful and dysfunctional environments I have ever experienced. If we comprise oursellves for money, the it is OK, but if we do it for love, then it is wrong.

My sympathies to the OP as there is nothing more painful than discovering that someone you love is playing you. It's like a kick in the guts. Other posts, to me, read like "I love you, but only when it suits me." It is sad that so many of us are able to tolerate so much for money and so little for love.

I am a man and a nurse. I wish I had a dollar for everytime I heard that men should not be nurses. Perhaps male nurses are the ruin of civilzation and morality.

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Women who have children belong at home taking care of those children. Men belong in the field earing a living. I understand that can't always happen, but in an ideal world it should and we should look kindly on women who choose to be home makers.

The downfall of society came when we gave our childen to daycares and women gave up their duties at home. Stay at home mom's have my utmost respect and deserve much praise.

Yes, I am a conservative and damn proud of it. :)

A person does not have to be unemployed to be a good parent.

A person, unless they are severely handicapped, can successfully multi-task.

A person can be conservative and understand these simple concepts.

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My sympathies to the OP as there is nothing more painful than discovering that someone you love is playing you. It's like a kick in the guts. Other posts, to me, read like "I love you, but only when it suits me." It is sad that so many of us are able to tolerate so much for money and so little for love.

I am a man and a nurse. I wish I had a dollar for everytime I heard that men should not be nurses. Perhaps male nurses are the ruin of civilzation and morality.

Um, what? Try "I love you but I won't let you walk all over me." Why in the WORLD should anyone tolerate financial abuse? And where did anyone say men should not be nurses?

A person does not have to be unemployed to be a good parent.

A person, unless they are severely handicapped, can successfully multi-task.

A person can be conservative and understand these simple concepts.

Preach it! Frankly, I see far too many women trapped in abusive situations because they can't support themselves. Certainly most SAHMs are not in that specific situation, but I think families are helped greatly by at least having the potential for a second income. In addition, girls should grow up knowing they have choices. For far too long girls could be a secretary, a teacher, or a nurse (all very underpaid at the time, some still so) and that was it. I love that a girl in high school now can be an engineer or a teacher or a veterinarian or an accountant. Finally girls have the same opportunities as boys, and we're a better society for it.

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For the 8th time in 5 years another RN friend files bankruptcy. Same story , husband unemployed. She works 60 hours a week while hubby seats at home doing nothing. Furthermore she pays his child support from his prior marriage $825 per month. She thought he was in school but he was blowing most of the money at the casinos. He has been to school for many things and none working out.

Each friend that has filed bankruptcy has pretty much the same story. Supporting a man that has a million excuses why he cant or will not work. He is in school, job pending, disable etc.... Please ladies be very careful. RNs are being specifically targeted by these losers. We work too hard to put up with this.

I believe you are treated how you allow yourself to be treated. If you allow a dead beat man to sit around and do nothing while you pay their child support and kill yourself working 60 hours a week then you deserve the life you're living :twocents:

Throw the loser out and let him pay his own way in life. Sink or swim.

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I do not think anyone should tolerate financial abuse and did not say that. What I said was that I felt that some of the posts were a bit weak on the empathy in regard to a perceived lack of a parnter's contribution. I will not quote them or refer to specific posters. There are many reasons why people become unemployed and, yes, there are just lazy players out there.

My partner is not employed. Sometimes, I get angry and jealous. Sometimes I even get nasty about it, but I would surely not be better off alone. I have never been hungry or homeless and have always had more crap than I need. He is a good person who loves me warts and all. I have never had too much of that, so maybe he deserves the benefit of the doubt.

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I do not think anyone should tolerate financial abuse and did not say that. What I said was that I felt that some of the posts were a bit weak on the empathy in regard to a perceived lack of a parnter's contribution. I will not quote them or refer to specific posters. There are many reasons why people become unemployed and, yes, there are just lazy players out there.

My partner is not employed. Sometimes, I get angry and jealous. Sometimes I even get nasty about it, but I would surely not be better off alone. I have never been hungry or homeless and have always had more crap than I need. He is a good person who loves me warts and all. I have never had too much of that, so maybe he deserves the benefit of the doubt.

I'm sorry you're going through this yourself.

The posts criticizing "non-contributing" partners were not talking about stay-at-home parents, student, those looking for work, or the disabled. I think it's okay for people to set limits. *I* am not willing to live with a partner who does not contribute. If you are okay with that because it offsets other things then that it your right. Personally, I don't think that coddling adults is a good thing. The word "codependent" comes to mind. It's simply not a way I am willing to live my life. And that's okay, because it's my life. Yours is yours. :)

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My partner is not employed. Sometimes, I get angry and jealous. Sometimes I even get nasty about it, but I would surely not be better off alone. I have never been hungry or homeless and have always had more crap than I need. He is a good person who loves me warts and all. I have never had too much of that, so maybe he deserves the benefit of the doubt.

I just hope you aren't selling yourself short and making excuses for a partner who doesn't carry his own weight. As you state you sometimes get angry and jealous and even nasty about it so you don't seem to be 100% at peace with your own situation. I would address it now and come to a solution both of you can live with. If they are able bodied and not f/t students there is really no reason they can't work p/t and give you a hand. If someone really loves you they help out. Just my take.

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i worked with a nurse, she and her hubby between them had 6 children and they had primary care of all of them

the child care expenses were horrible and they decided that since she was makig a good bit more than he was he would stay home and care for children

he cleaned, cooked, took the children to school and back, helped them with homework..when she got off work at 7am she slept until the kids got home from school and they had family time together..this worked out very well for them but she did get some flack from fellow nurses

as a single parent for a lot of the growing up years i can tell you if i came home to a clean house and cared for kids i would have been out doing back flips for joy

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