Another FaceBook Rant

Where do I start?

The people who are sitting with you in real life are not "demanding" your undivided attention because they are rude. This has been the default expectation (when I'm with you, I'd like to actually be with you) since the beginning of time.

Well the times they are a changing....

Stuffing someones ( even your daughters ) mashed potatoes sounded a lot ruder than texting at the table. I no longer have a relationship with my mother ( much to her displeasure ) because she pulled that kind of my way of the highway stuff. Turns out the highway is a better better way to go.

You call people rude with one breathe the slay them with the other. Nice.

oy.:smackingf

i grabbed her phone and stuffed it in the mashed potatoes (everyone had their servings already).

while that wasn't the ideal way to handle this, i doubt she'll do it again in our presence.

my kids know how we feel about such inconsideration.

she challenged that and i raised her one.

it's rude...yes, rude.

leslie

OMG!! What a waste!!!! No! You ruined the mashed potatoes? How could you?

Edited Nov 29, 2011 by imintrouble

rn.writter, just asking, do you think that some people do not want a deep friendship or connection to anyone? that they might just like connection with many at a superficial level? that by telling 340 people that they had steak for dinner they feel connected to all these friends? as oppposed to hearing about your new job or marathon?i have read articles on social media and its' affect on relationships in the "new world"

I credit connectivity for being able to keep this depression monster off my back and from setting camp in my house. Its a comfort to be to know that people who care ( I only FB friends people I know in RL) are only a fingertip away. I can be connected to them throughout the day without intruding to much into their time or demanding their undivided attention. I have FB, IM, Texting and Blogging as tools to stay connected and not isolated. The old ways are necessarily better although I do spin, knit and weave as well so I am ready when the apocalypse comes.

So I say. Judge slowly.

My friends and I do it all the time. We go out for dinner and we both update our facebook pages and reply to comments, tag each other, even talk about FB status and such. Is it because we are in our early 20's? Maybe maybe not

rn.writter, just asking, do you think that some people do not want a deep friendship or connection to anyone? that they might just like connection with many at a superficial level? that by telling 340 people that they had steak for dinner they feel connected to all these friends? as oppposed to hearing about your new job or marathon?i have read articles on social media and its' affect on relationships in the "new world"

I do think this is happening, but I don't necessarily see it as a good thing. It could be that people who live their lives online and don't make deeper connections in real life will one day feel that something is missing.

As in just about every area, there is a need for balance. It isn't good to be tech-phobic (provided you have reasonable access) and have no idea what's going on in the world. But neither is it good to become so enamored with the tools of technology that the human connection (beyond surface details) gets lost in the process.

People need people. And they need more than just a glancing familiarity with 340 others. A trusted partner, a handful of really good friends, a couple dozen pretty good friends and family members, and then the outer circle. What I fear is that the illusion of being "close" to 340 Facebook friends will prove less than satisfying down the road and folks will hunger for a little depth and real intimacy. Actually, it's as much a hope as a fear, because our measure of depth dictates our capacity for caring about others. It stands to reason that knowing the details of 340 people is too much for anyone to really embrace, so shallowness has to be employed as a method to keep it all manageable. But if a sense of longing and thoughts of, "What does it all mean?" crop up, so much the better. These things have a way of righting themselves.

I suspect that in a few years, the pendulum will start to swing back from everything being open and somewhat shallow toward withdrawing a bit and reconsidering the need for close and deep connection with a few trusted souls. Deep connection with another is the foundation for empathy, which governs the way we treat each other. So I hope we see a renewed appreciation for real life friendship in a little while.

Edited Nov 30, 2011 by rn/writer

My boyfriend does this with texting (non-emergencies)... I feel weird telling him to quit tapping on that dang screen but it's rude!

I credit connectivity for being able to keep this depression monster off my back and from setting camp in my house. Its a comfort to be to know that people who care ( I only FB friends people I know in RL) are only a fingertip away. I can be connected to them throughout the day without intruding to much into their time or demanding their undivided attention. I have FB, IM, Texting and Blogging as tools to stay connected and not isolated. The old ways are necessarily better although I do spin, knit and weave as well so I am ready when the apocalypse comes.

So I say. Judge slowly.

Your situation is a little different in that you are connecting electronically with people you actually have a closeness to. I'm so glad this has been a way out of the quicksand that is depression.

That said, constant connectivity is not good for most people. It's rewiring adolescent brains and not in a good way. I also wonder about the addictive nature of constant texting. If someone develops severe anxiety if they aren't allowed to text for an hour, it isn't just about convenience and socializing anymore.

I can foresee a time in the not too distant future when restaurants that used to ask, "Smoking or non-smoking," will now ask, "Texting or non-texting?"

I'll take non-texting any day!

Well the times they are a changing....

Stuffing someones ( even your daughters ) mashed potatoes sounded a lot ruder than texting at the table. I no longer have a relationship with my mother ( much to her displeasure ) because she pulled that kind of my way of the highway stuff. Turns out the highway is a better better way to go.

You call people rude with one breathe the slay them with the other. Nice.

i think you meant to direct the post at me.

yes, it was rude (even way beyond that) and inappropriate for me to react that way.

they've all been warned a gazillion times, and along with other unshared factors, it was my final straw.

trust me, it's not habitual...if it was, i'd check myself in a hospital.:)

to clarify, i'm not calling YOU specifically rude.

i am saying it is rude to be having a conversation with someone, then going to your phone randomly to text or whatever the situation is.

and i'm not talking about an isolated incident.

this stuff happens frequently.

i do believe society in general, has lost the basic essence of manners 101.

you can choose to accept it or not.

leslie

I credit connectivity for being able to keep this depression monster off my back and from setting camp in my house. Its a comfort to be to know that people who care ( I only FB friends people I know in RL) are only a fingertip away. I can be connected to them throughout the day without intruding to much into their time or demanding their undivided attention. I have FB, IM, Texting and Blogging as tools to stay connected and not isolated. The old ways are necessarily better although I do spin, knit and weave as well so I am ready when the apocalypse comes.

So I say. Judge slowly.

there's nothing wrong with this, and i'm glad it's been therapeutic for you.

i understand depression fully.

but please make sure it doesn't become a compulsion, where the need to 'text' outweighs the need for the comfort you seek from your friends...

and to extent, where it may offend others.

leslie

I'm no where near the level of more connected people I can still count my facebook on my fingers and toes. I wanted to point out that this new fangled stuff isn't all bad. Seems much better than when I was in High School when your were waiting at home for the phone to ring and worried if everyone else has gone out without you. At least nowadays you'd know.

The point I need to make is sometimes people are overly concerned with being offended and not aware that they themselves are offensive too.

Connectivity is just another tool. Some people utilize it more than others. If I was FBing at the dinner table it's usually checking in a xyz restaurant because sometime you can get good coupons and saying "Hey I'm having a great time with xyz"