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Ruby Vee Ruby Vee (Member)

Another FaceBook Rant

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You are reading page 2 of Another FaceBook Rant. If you want to start from the beginning Go to First Page.

The always amazing Ruby Vee!

I feel your pain. I, too, am just fed up with everyone who feels the need to be everywhere.

As for the friends company you used to enjoy - well, that relationship has changed. Sad. While, I'd be honest with them about your disappointment over the evenings, I'd still likely limit my outings in the future. You could do so playfully and mention that FB and Twitter are not being served!? ;) What could have been a lovely evening with friends - turned into an annoying evening with 2 friends and and an meaningless/uninteresting one for all the other friends and followers.

I don't get it either. This is an addiction, a bad habit and plague. Really. Does anyone ever just "be" anymore. Be in the moment. Be present. Be aware. Be still.

We seem to be a society who is never satisfied, always on the hunt for something better, that must acquire more and more stuff, we are judged by the "trinkets" that surround us and most folks ideal future would be one where they are ... FAMOUS!

What is happening?

I counted 78 choices of sliced bread at Krogers (supermarket) the other day. I don't know about you folks - but, how many times do you really feel like you are making the best choice or spending your precious time wisely? I know that I often feel anxious about many decisions and feel like the day just slips away with little to show for any of my efforts.

I have never been comfortable sharing too much information about myself - not that I am secretive, just that I find others "over sharing" tedious and largely uninteresting. So how much better are my "details"? Not any. How many of you out there really care what others are thinking about, eating, buying or planning? Other that a core group of folks that I really love, I have limited use for the tons of info others need to "share". Now, I am not a monster - babies/promotions/weddings = happpy /// illness/death/tragedy/house buring down = sad, but we are not just sharing the big delas - we are sharing everything. IMO - it is hard to keep up with the "important stuff" if you are deluged in every. little. silly. insignificant. meaningless. detail. REALLY.

But - here - for all those who just CANNOT fully BE where ever you ARE and feel COMPELLED to "update status" and "share" the bits of everything about anything about YOU.

NO ONE REALLY CARES THAT MUCH ABOUT YOU - NOT EVEN YOUR MOM! :dzed:

Really.

There are now anxiety disorders that require treatment (medical intervention!) over this compulsion of social media.

Now I am for live and let live and everyone has to choose what is important to themselves - but, you will not get to the end of your life and wish that you had updated your status more often OR shared what you had for lunch OR flamed off on your neighbors OR posted about all the drinking you did at the party. Really guys, you will not care anything about these activities that take up large chunks of your thought and day.

What you will wish for is another minute to really tell someone you care for them and have someone to hold you hand and bless your heart. I urge all to take a time out during the day and ask yourself - am I enriching my life and the lives around me? Do I feel centered and at peace with my day?

Now some will say - she's old and odd. And hey - you might be right! But, I'm with RV on this one - most all of this sharing that others feel compelled to do is not interesting to me. And what could have been a lovely evening out with friends where you enjoy their company melts into another wasted mess of "updates" and tweets about "how much fun we are having" and "how lovely is is to see my friends" - the bad part is - the folks that are present with you have no idea about the fun or lovely - they are not very "connected" is seems. :eek:

Unplug.

Be still.

Spend your time meaningfully.

When with those you love and care for - be present. Really present.

Blessings all!

:angel:

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None of my friends have up to date FB accounts. We are all old fuddy-duddies.

It just seems like a colossal waste of time.

Ruby, it may be time to update your friends' list. :)

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I think, like most things, there are people who will take it to excess. Half a dozen posts about a single dinner out with friends...overkill. I love FB and generally update my status daily, but sometimes will go days without posting if nothing interesting is going on, lol. I do still check other's statuses. I will admit to multiple posts in a short time frame when watching LSU or Saints football games :D

I have reconnected with old friends from high school and even earlier on FB, so it has been great for me. I do not live in my home state, and I hate talking on the phone, so I connect with everyone through FB and can still be a part of their lives. But I agree that spending more time updating your status than actually talking to the people you are out with is rude, and a little pointless.

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Anotherone, because sometimes it's just not about YOU!

Exactly! so don't except others to provide all of their attention to you. it is not just about you.

Edited by NRSKarenRN
fixed quote link

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Anotherone, because sometimes it's just not about YOU![/quote

Exactly! so don't except others to provide all of their attention to you. it is not just about you.

Amen

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Only takes a few seconds and it's an inclusive thing rather than exclusive.

oy.:smackingf

it's not "only a few seconds"...

it's a "few seconds" of back and forth, back and forth, throughout the dinner/conversation.

it's distracting and plain rude.

recently we were having a much needed dinner together as a family.

my dtr and i were in the middle of what i considered to be, an important discussion.

someone texted her and she starts texting back.

i grabbed her phone and stuffed it in the mashed potatoes (everyone had their servings already).

while that wasn't the ideal way to handle this, i doubt she'll do it again in our presence.

my kids know how we feel about such inconsideration.

she challenged that and i raised her one.

it's rude...yes, rude.

leslie

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I do love the irony. People against it are saying " You just aren't that important" yet they deem themselves and the presence of their company so important that they demand to have that person's undivided experience.

In my circle of friends its an acceptable thing. Only takes a few seconds and it's an inclusive thing rather than exclusive. It is not uncommon to text a friend while she is sitting in front of me to have a meta conversation about our experience. Don't place a value judgement on someone because they desire a different level/type of connectivity to each other. Your way is not always superior.

And no I'm not a teenybopper.

Where do I start?

The people who are sitting with you at a restaurant or over a dinner table in real life are not "demanding" your undivided attention because they are rude. This has been the default expectation (when I'm with you, I'd like to actually be with you) since the beginning of time. Of course, exceptions are made when nature or the babysitter calls, but many of us get together specifically to enjoy each other's company.

If, in your circle of friends, a different standard prevails, then you should all just text and update yourselves silly, but many of us who find ourselves at the mercy of such self-absorption will be content to limit future contact with such "friends" to emails and brief phone calls. After all, we wouldn't want to be seen as real life intrusions on the virtual experience.

I enjoy getting together with couples we have known for a long time or one of our kids and their spouse or some other small group where actual conversation takes place. I may not know what Jim or Janey had for lunch yesterday, but I will get to hear about their daughter's wedding and his goal of running a marathon and her desire to change jobs. And they'll listen as dh and I share our joys and woes, as well. We'll communicate on a level that begets an intimacy built on respect and shared history.

To each, his own. But I have to say that telling me how your steak was done and what the server's name was seems like having the illusion of connection without necessarily enjoying the real thing.

Edited by rn/writer

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to me this doesn't matter much on a personal level. ALTHOUGH I HATE when patients do it since it doesn't let me get my job done and delays patient care to my other patients since i have to wait for them to get off the phone..................... But if my friends or family start texting or answerign calls i take the hint that my conversation and presence is not the priority to them nor do i think it should always be.

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But I agree that spending more time updating your status than actually talking to the people you are out with is rude, and a little pointless.

i don't think anyone is questioning fb updating statuses, texting, etc.

it's the excessive, inappropriate usage...as there's a time and place for everything.

having a conversation with someone, is not the time to turn your attn elsewhere.

it sounds like you get that.

leslie

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rn.writter, just asking, do you think that some people do not want a deep friendship or connection to anyone? that they might just like connection with many at a superficial level? that by telling 340 people that they had steak for dinner they feel connected to all these friends? as oppposed to hearing about your new job or marathon?i have read articles on social media and its' affect on relationships in the "new world"

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Ruby, I totally agree and that would be the last time I had dinner with those "friends."

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