For pet Lovers

  1. got this in an email this morning, thought i would share!



    [font=bookman old style][color=#400040]pet rules

    [font=bookman old style][color=#400040]to be posted very low on the refrigerator door - nose height.


    [font=bookman old style][color=#400040]dear dogs and cats,


    [font=bookman old style][color=#400040]the dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. the other dishes are mine and contain my food. please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do i find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.


    [font=bookman old style][color=#400040]the stairway was not designed by nascar and is not a racetrack. beating me to the bottom is not the object. tripping me doesn't help because i fall faster than you can run.


    [font=bookman old style][color=#400040]i cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. i am very sorry about this. do not think i will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. it is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. i also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.


    [font=bookman old style][color=#400040]for the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. if by some miracle i beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, bark, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. i must exit through the same door i entered. also, i have been using the bathroom for years --canine or feline attendance is not required.


    [font=bookman old style][color=#400040]the proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butts. i cannot stress this enough!


    [font=bookman old style][color=#400040]to pacify you, my dear pets, i have posted the following message on our front door:


    [color=#400040]to all non-pet owners who visit & like to complain about our pets:

    [color=#400040]1. they live here. you don't.
    [color=#400040]2. if you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. that's why they call it "fur"niture.
    [color=#400040]3. i like my pets a lot better than i like most people.
    [color=#400040]4. to you , it's an animal. to me, he/ she is an adopted[font=bookman old style][color=#400040]son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.


    [font=bookman old style][color=#400040]remember:

    [font=bookman old style][color=#400040]dogs and cats are better than kids because[font=bookman old style][color=#400040]they:

    [font=bookman old style][color=#400040]1. eat less
    [font=bookman old style][color=#400040]2 don't ask for money all the time
    [font=bookman old style][color=#400040]3. are easier to train
    [font=bookman old style][color=#400040]4. normally come when called
    [font=bookman old style][color=#400040]5. never ask to drive the car
    [font=bookman old style][color=#400040]6. don't hang out with drug-using friends
    [font=bookman old style][color=#400040]7. don't smoke or drink
    [font=bookman old style][color=#400040]8. don't want to wear your clothes
    [font=bookman old style][color=#400040]9. don't need a gazillion dollars for college,
    [font=bookman old style][color=#400040]and...
    [color=#400040]10. [color=#400040]if they get pregnant, you can sell their children[font=bookman old style][color=#400040].
    •  
  2. 13 Comments

  3. by   BrnEyedGirl
    LOL!!!! Love it!!! Would take my dogs over most peoples kids any day!! Thanks for the chuckle!!!!
  4. by   donsterRN
    OK, I read this to Twister-cat. I got to the second sentence (about the other dishes being mine with my food). He yawned, looked over my shoulder, yawned again and started licking his belly.

    I don't think he cares much for the rules.
  5. by   TazziRN
    I love it!!! I'm printing this out and am going to put it up somewhere. My MIL and her neighbor both have cats, I know they'll like it too.
  6. by   MedSurgeMess
    waaaay too cute!!!!!
  7. by   Cherish
    Thats soo funny...yet so true. I will be adding this to my email list!!
  8. by   CHATSDALE
    e x c u s e m e ! ! !

    you waited until i had 6 children to list this??????
  9. by   Soup Turtle
    heehee...cute
  10. by   nursemary9
    :roll :roll :roll
  11. by   AussieTina
    Hmmmmmmm I wonder what size font I should use so my cats can read it easier?

    Especially the bit about the bed
  12. by   suzanne4
    Loved it, thanks for sharing. :spin:

    Will have to have a talk with Sabrina and Austin about not wanting to move from my pillow.
  13. by   CRNI-ICU20
    Bella, or "BELLY" as she is fondly called, took one look at THE RULES, and headed straight for her litter box....
    I forgave her....she' an only cat, so she has no siblings to take this out on!
    Here's to furry "people"!!
  14. by   brendamyheart
    Quote from ddrn4me
    got this in an email this morning, thought i would share!



    [font=bookman old style][color=#400040]pet rules

    [font=bookman old style][color=#400040]to be posted very low on the refrigerator door - nose height.


    [font=bookman old style][color=#400040]dear dogs and cats,


    [font=bookman old style][color=#400040]the dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. the other dishes are mine and contain my food. please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do i find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.


    [font=bookman old style][color=#400040]the stairway was not designed by nascar and is not a racetrack. beating me to the bottom is not the object. tripping me doesn't help because i fall faster than you can run.


    [font=bookman old style][color=#400040]i cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. i am very sorry about this. do not think i will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. it is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. i also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.


    [font=bookman old style][color=#400040]for the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. if by some miracle i beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, bark, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. i must exit through the same door i entered. also, i have been using the bathroom for years --canine or feline attendance is not required.


    [font=bookman old style][color=#400040]the proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butts. i cannot stress this enough!


    [font=bookman old style][color=#400040]to pacify you, my dear pets, i have posted the following message on our front door:


    [color=#400040]to all non-pet owners who visit & like to complain about our pets:

    [color=#400040]1. they live here. you don't.
    [color=#400040]2. if you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. that's why they call it "fur"niture.
    [color=#400040]3. i like my pets a lot better than i like most people.
    [color=#400040]4. to you , it's an animal. to me, he/ she is an adopted[font=bookman old style][color=#400040]son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.


    [font=bookman old style][color=#400040]remember:

    [font=bookman old style][color=#400040]dogs and cats are better than kids because[font=bookman old style][color=#400040]they:

    [font=bookman old style][color=#400040]1. eat less
    [font=bookman old style][color=#400040]2 don't ask for money all the time
    [font=bookman old style][color=#400040]3. are easier to train
    [font=bookman old style][color=#400040]4. normally come when called
    [font=bookman old style][color=#400040]5. never ask to drive the car
    [font=bookman old style][color=#400040]6. don't hang out with drug-using friends
    [font=bookman old style][color=#400040]7. don't smoke or drink
    [font=bookman old style][color=#400040]8. don't want to wear your clothes
    [font=bookman old style][color=#400040]9. don't need a gazillion dollars for college,
    [font=bookman old style][color=#400040]and...
    [color=#400040]10. [color=#400040]if they get pregnant, you can sell their children[font=bookman old style][color=#400040].

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