Single mom needs advice about job and life

  1. 0
    Hi,

    I decided to post here instead of the general nursing session because I need to make some important decisions for me and my family. I am a single mom with two young kids currently confused and unhappy.

    New grad (Dec 2011), in the middle of a divorce, living in the east coast. I accepted a job in a nursing home in february because I didn't want to stay home since I am the sole provider. I hate the job and I have been living in temporary accommodation since I had to move from one part of the state to be closer to the job. This job is part time and the pay is about $30 an hr.

    I got a a med-surg position out of state last december and there is a possibility I may be able to get another position since I didn't exactly turn the job down. The job is in the south and the pay is about $18 plus maybe a $3 differential.

    My question is should I consider taking the hospital job and relocating (if possible)? I actually would need a second job just to survive either at my current location (which is part time) or if I relocate.


    I feel so unhappy and stressed at the moment and not sure what to do.

    I would have to finance the relocation myself since there is no relocation assistance or anything.

    Please I need advice and encouragement.

    Thanks
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  4. 7 Comments so far...

  5. 0
    Hi 2blessings,

    I am offering my encouragement that you are guided down the right path for your family.

    Btw, your screenname is adorable :redpinkhe
  6. 3
    lovinmyjob, Blanca R, and VivaLasViejas like this.
  7. 1
    Hi - I'm sorry you are going through this tough time.

    Is your soon-to-be ex at all helpful with parenting issues? Do you have family nearby?

    At a time like this, with young children, I'd try to focus on making sure my kids were the first priority.

    In my own case, I didn't have support from my ex and we had two young kids. I moved back in with my mom and she helped me with my kids. In looking back from the perspective of 25 years I wish I had stayed home with them at least until they were in school as my divorce happened when they were 1 and 3. But I worked and wished I hadn't.

    Is there any way you and your husband could reconcile? Of course, abuse, addiction and adultery nixes that. I have had some friends who managed with extensive counseling to find their way back from adultery though. In my situation it was a combo of adultery and addiction.

    Even though I remarried and my kids had a great step-dad, both of them have told me they have a hole in their respective hearts where their dad let them down.

    You are in a tough situation and I hope you find a way.
    Last edit by Spidey's mom on Apr 5, '12 : Reason: typos
    vintagemother likes this.
  8. 1
    Quote from 2blessings
    Hi, I decided to post here instead of the general nursing session because I need to make some important decisions for me and my family. I am a single mom with two young kids currently confused and unhappy. New grad (Dec 2011), in the middle of a divorce, living in the east coast. I accepted a job in a nursing home in february because I didn't want to stay home since I am the sole provider. I hate the job and I have been living in temporary accommodation since I had to move from one part of the state to be closer to the job. This job is part time and the pay is about $30 an hr. I got a a med-surg position out of state last december and there is a possibility I may be able to get another position since I didn't exactly turn the job down. The job is in the south and the pay is about $18 plus maybe a $3 differential. My question is should I consider taking the hospital job and relocating (if possible)? I actually would need a second job just to survive either at my current location (which is part time) or if I relocate. I feel so unhappy and stressed at the moment and no I would have to finance the relocation myself since there is no relocation assistance or anything. Please I need advice and encouragement. Thanks
    Where at in the South? Here in Oklahoma you can actually live pretty comfortably on $22 an hour. Not luxuriously lol but comfortably. Cost of living is significantly lower here than on the east coast. So I guess I'm saying that you wouldn't HAVE to have a second job just to survive if you're looking at somewhere like OK, that said, I feel for situation and wish you the best of luck!
    Blanca R likes this.
  9. 1
    Hi 2blessings,
    I would suggest living with what you have, don't uproot your children, it is hard to make the decision to stay home to raise your children, they need you now and always will, sure you may hate your job, I am sorry to hear that you are the sole provider, take time for yourself, try to be happy and maybe in time something will open up nearby.
    $30 an hour sounds pretty good to me but I have been out of nursing for a long time. Money isn't everything if you don't have your health and your family. Find what supports are close by, family, friends, school parents. I am a mother of 4 young adults, was a nurse and when i started my family, work was placed on the back burner for me, my health has deterred my ability to re enter the work place but I will always be a nurse. Make your ex help you for the sake of the children, they will praise you for it later in life. Nursing was my love and sometimes we have to make choices, I chose my family. You will have plenty of time to find something that interests you as time goes by but you can never make up this time with your children.

    Quote from 2blessings
    Hi,

    I decided to post here instead of the general nursing session because I need to make some important decisions for me and my family. I am a single mom with two young kids currently confused and unhappy.

    New grad (Dec 2011), in the middle of a divorce, living in the east coast. I accepted a job in a nursing home in february because I didn't want to stay home since I am the sole provider. I hate the job and I have been living in temporary accommodation since I had to move from one part of the state to be closer to the job. This job is part time and the pay is about $30 an hr.

    I got a a med-surg position out of state last december and there is a possibility I may be able to get another position since I didn't exactly turn the job down. The job is in the south and the pay is about $18 plus maybe a $3 differential.

    My question is should I consider taking the hospital job and relocating (if possible)? I actually would need a second job just to survive either at my current location (which is part time) or if I relocate.


    I feel so unhappy and stressed at the moment and not sure what to do.

    I would have to finance the relocation myself since there is no relocation assistance or anything.

    Please I need advice and encouragement.

    Thanks
    Blanca R likes this.
  10. 1
    My heart goes out to you, Sweetie - I'm nearly 60 now but remember my single-mom days with two little kids. One of the hardest things is it's all on you, there's nobody to bounce around ideas with and share the burden of every little decision, so it's good you're seeking feedback in supportive online forums.

    Make sure to research cost of living for any locale you consider. Also, make sure your nearly-Ex will allow you to leave the state for a new position. If not, make your case in court. Regardless, it sounds like you very much need to find a new position simply because you are miserable in your current job!

    Tip: if it's difficult to unwind and get your sleep, keep a notepad by the bed and write down any things you need to remember to do, then give your mind a break and daydream yourself to sleep.
    vintagemother likes this.
  11. 0
    I completely understand what you are going through. I am getting a divorce also. I would love nothing more than to move and be close to my family. They live in the D.C. area and I live near Indianapolis. The only thing stopping me is my son. This divorce is a huge change on him and I don't want to uproot him from everything he knows and hurt him more. You didn't say whether or not your ex is in the picture but kids need their dad as much as us. I hope this helps and if you need to talk message me.


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