Military rules for the non-military

  1. Dear Civilians,

    We know that the current state of affairs in our great nation has many civilians up in arms and excited to join the military. For those of you who can't join, you can still lend a hand. Here are a few of the areas we would like your assistance:

    1. The next time you see an adult talking (or wearing a hat) during the playing of the National Anthem ... kick their ***.

    2. When you witness firsthand someone burning the American Flag in protest... kick their ***.

    3. Regardless of the rank they held while they served, pay the highest amount of respect to all veterans. If you see anyone doing otherwise, quietly pull them aside and explain how these Veterans fought for the very freedom they bask in every second. Enlighten them on the many sacrifices these Veterans made to make this Nation great. Then hold them down while a Disabled Veteran kicks their ***.

    4. (GUYS) If you were never in the military, DO NOT pretend that you were. Wearing battle dress uniforms (BDU's), telling others that you used to
    be "Special Forces," and collecting GI Joe memorabilia, might have been okay if you were still seven. Now, it will only make you look stupid and get your *** kicked.

    5. Next time you come across an Air Force member, do not ask them, "Do you fly a jet?" Not everyone in the Air Force is a pilot. Such inorance deserves an *** kicking (children are exempt).

    6. If you witness someone calling the U.S. Coast Guard non-military, inform them of their mistake...and kick their ***.

    7. Roseanne Barr's singing of the National Anthem is not a blooper...it was a disgrace and disrespectful. Laugh, and sooner or later your *** will be
    kicked.

    8. Next time Old Glory (U.S. flag) prances by during a parade, get on your damn feet and pay homage to her by placing your hand over your heart.
    Quietly thank the military member or veteran lucky enough to be carrying her...of course, failure to do either of those could earn you a severe *** kicking.

    9. What Jane Fonda did during the Vietnam War makes her the enemy. The proper word to describe her is "traitor." Just mention her nomination for "Woman of the Year" and get your *** kicked.

    10. Don't try to discuss politics with a military member or a veteran. We are Americans and we all bleed the same regardless of our party affiliation.
    Our Chain of Command is to include our commander in Chief. The President (for those who didn't know) is our CIC regardless of political party. We have no inside track on what happens inside those big important buildings where all those representatives" meet. All we know is that when those civilian representatives screw up the situation, they call upon the military to go straighten it out. The military member might direct you to Oliver North. (I can see him kicking your *** already.)

    11. "Your mama wears combat boots" never made sense to me ... stop saying it! If she did, she would most likely be a vet and therefore, could kick your ***!

    12. Bin Laden and the Taliban are not communists, so stop saying, "Let's go kill those Commie's!!!" And stop asking us where he is!!!! Crystal balls are not standard issue in the military. That reminds me ... if you see anyone calling those damn psychic phone numbers; let me know, so I can go kick their ***.

    13. Flyboy (Air Force), Jar Head (Marines), Grunt (Army), Squid (Navy) etc, are terms of endearment we use describing each other. Unless you are a
    service member or vet, you have not earned the right to use them. That could get your *** kicked.

    14. Last but not least, whether or not you become a member of the military, support our troops and their families. Every Thanksgiving, religious holiday, birthday, and anniversary that you enjoy with family and friends, please remember that there are literally thousands of sailors and troops far from home wishing they could be with their families. Thank God for our military and the sacrifices they make every day. Without them, our country would get its *** kicked.

    "It is the soldier, not the reporter who has given us the freedom of the press. - It is the soldier, not the poet, who has given us the freedom of speech.

    It is the soldier, not the campus organizer, who gives us the freedom to demonstrate. It is the soldier who salutes the flag, who serves beneath the flag, and whose coffin is draped by the flag, who allows the protester to burn the flag."




    bob
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  2. 9 Comments

  3. by   donmurray
    At the start of "2001, a space odyssey" Two groups of man's early ancestors fight, then one of the victors throws a bone into the air, and it turns into a spaceship.....Sometimes I can't help but think that we haven't evolved very far...
  4. by   Marie_LPN, RN
    Quote from donmurray
    Sometimes I can't help but think that we haven't evolved very far...
    I think that everytime i'm at that intersection in town on my way to clinicals, when that SAME guy EVERY day is in the next lane, looking in the mirror, and picking his nose.
  5. by   SmilingBluEyes
    oh um nevermind.
  6. by   traumaRUs
    You know Bob - I am a vet, married to a retired Air Force guy (not a pilot btw) and I'm kinda thinking you want a strong response from this post! Hope you get it!
  7. by   duckboy20
    Enjoyed that post Bob, I am not a vet but do agree
  8. by   H ynnoD
    Are you trying to say theres not enough butt kicking going on? Hear what you say and its all so right.
  9. by   missmercy
    Bob-
    I am not in the military -- have had numerous loved ones serve though and I LOVED YOUR POST!!!!! My skin crawls when people yak and screw around during the national anthem, or just sit there when the flag goes past.
    There are folks I love over there -- RIGHT NOW!!! I watch the news like a hawk and tremble if the phone rings really late at night. So, to those who are complaining about the military maneuvers we're in -- the opinion isn't near as important as the people over there! You never know who (perhaps sitting next to your table at lunch, in line at the grocery store, in the gym) is praying deaperately that their loved one is OK today -- all the negative attitudes and griping sure doesn't give us left here much support, encouragement or strength! The **** kicking sounds like a great idea -- long line of folks who could use it!! Would love to help!:chuckle
  10. by   JedsMom
    Amen Bob!! My husband was in the Coast Guard during Veitnam. My son is now in college ROTC on a full scholarship courtesy of the US Army. God Bless our armed forces personell.
  11. by   it'sallbueno
    I've seen this before, but I love it every time.

    Thanks for a much needed smile (and support)

    ~The proud wife of a soldier 7 months in Iraq and counting...

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