Your personal ad

  1. MetalHead put his personal ad on allnurses and I thought we should all do the same, ads can be humourous or scary, bizarre or true to life- have fun.


    Here's mine

    SWF seeks burly rough professional comfortable with camping in the rain or eating bonbons with his love. Must have a keen mind, lifelong loyalty and a gentle touch. Required to bring me tea and warm blankets when I'm sick, and to always get angry too when I am pissed off at coworkers (even if I'm dead wrong). Fireside chats and erotic hairwashing required at regular intervals.
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  2. 23 Comments

  3. by   Zhakrin
    The Metro Times in the Detroit, MI area runs a competition for the best "Personal Ad", and gives a $15 gift certificate to a local music store as the prize. This one won in the latest issue and has been circulating around our unit:

    AD OF THE WEEK:

    I am black and a woman. With children being slaughtered in Rowanda.
    What difference does it make how big my breasts are, how long my legs are, or how much money you or I make? To hell with long walks, holding hands, candle lit dinners, and all of that other crap that people never continue doing after the first date anyway; that didn't even take place in Cinderella (I've seen the movie). If there is a man out there who:
    isn't a crackhead or crack dealer,
    isn't an alcoholic,
    doesn't have any kids,
    doesn't smoke,
    doesn't beat women,
    isn't wearing women's underwear as you're reading this ad,
    isn't a liar,
    isn't looking for fun behind his wife's back,
    isn't into being hit, peed on, or tied up while having sex,
    doesn't want to hit, pee on or tie me up while having sex,
    likes having sex,
    CAN have sex,
    is not
    in jail,
    on probation,
    has a court date pending,
    isn't a
    misogynist,
    racist,
    classist,
    elitist,
    lawyer,
    politician,
    member of the military,
    policeman (Malice Green, Rodney King),
    bible boy, or
    a pompous ass.
    What you have to be is HONEST, HONEST, HONEST!!! If you're out there, if you exist, call me. Please don't make me give up on men. Prefer letters.


    Zhakrin
  4. by   CATHYW
    [originally posted by Canoehead]



    SWF seeks burly rough professional

    Professional what? Male, female, wrestler, killer, what? Don't keep us in suspense!:chuckle :roll
  5. by   canoehead
    Male, geez I did leave that part out didn't I?

    As for professional I guess I just want someone who looks after himself, and when he goes to work having more teeth than tattoos is part of the requirements. I want a partner, not an adolescent.

    By the way, has anyone ever worked in the ER with these grown men coming in with naked large busomed women tattooed on their arms. Where are the females that find that attractive?
  6. by   Brownms46
    Originally posted by Zhakrin
    The Metro Times in the Detroit, MI area runs a competition for the best "Personal Ad", and gives a $15 gift certificate to a local music store as the prize. This one won in the latest issue and has been circulating around our unit:

    AD OF THE WEEK:

    I am black and a woman. With children being slaughtered in Rowanda.
    What difference does it make how big my breasts are, how long my legs are, or how much money you or I make? To hell with long walks, holding hands, candle lit dinners, and all of that other crap that people never continue doing after the first date anyway; that didn't even take place in Cinderella (I've seen the movie). If there is a man out there who:
    isn't a crackhead or crack dealer,
    isn't an alcoholic,
    doesn't have any kids,
    doesn't smoke,
    doesn't beat women,
    isn't wearing women's underwear as you're reading this ad,
    isn't a liar,
    isn't looking for fun behind his wife's back,
    isn't into being hit, peed on, or tied up while having sex,
    doesn't want to hit, pee on or tie me up while having sex,
    likes having sex,
    CAN have sex,
    is not
    in jail,
    on probation,
    has a court date pending,
    isn't a
    misogynist,
    racist,
    classist,
    elitist,
    lawyer,
    politician,
    member of the military,
    policeman (Malice Green, Rodney King),
    bible boy, or
    a pompous ass.
    What you have to be is HONEST, HONEST, HONEST!!! If you're out there, if you exist, call me. Please don't make me give up on men. Prefer letters.


    Zhakrin
    That is the best ad I have ever read!
  7. by   Q.
    SWF with attitude seeks SWM who can handle it. Oh, and who loves sushi.
  8. by   donmurray
    SWM seeks F, must be warm, preferably with pulse!
  9. by   OBNURSEHEATHER
    SWF approaching her sexual prime, seeks male who can keep up. Must be completely computer illiterate and prepared to give me attention when I need it, but leave me the hell alone when I need that too

    Heather
  10. by   CATHYW
    in addition to the big burly men coming into the er with tattoos on their bare arms and chests, how about women who have them everywhere on their bodies? they have them on their chests, breasts, etc. (we covered this in another thread one time), and consider them true adornments. they wear tank t shirts to show them off, too!:d
    wonder what they'll think when the tattoos are blue and wrinkled?:roll :chuckle :roll
    i have taken care of elder folks with the wrinkled, sagging remnants of the tattoos of their youth. ugh!
    good luck on your search, canoe. i hope you find the right person. since i am happily married, i won't write an ad.:d
  11. by   canoehead
    I may have to go to England to find Don...
  12. by   aussie oi oi oi
    Well why not go with the crowd, I want a warm sensitive caring man who will love me unconditionally, must be clean shaven don't care about looks but someone who will be my equal, preferably in the healthcare field (no not a doctor!) Suitable applicants can get detailed qualifications if neccessary!!!!!!!!!!!!LOL

    yeah I know I am dreaming, oh well maybe I will find something of interest when I go to Paris and LOndon in 8 more sleeps
  13. by   momrn50
    Old tired nurse with three grown children looking for a good man who will listen to endless stories about my job and my residents. Must know when to leave me the hell alone and understand why I'm so tired all the time. Money and looks unimportant.
  14. by   micro
    Originally posted by donmurray
    SWM seeks F, must be warm, preferably with pulse!

    moscf sk mosffc






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