Your honest opinions regarding teen girls and birth control pills.

  1. first, let me say hello to everyone.


    i am one of those mothers who look at life with an opened mind when it comes to children and especially my own because i remember well when i was a teenager. no, not one who got in trouble but i did things i should not have and some i wouldn't care to discuss to this day, because some things were just senseless, but here i stand by the grace of god [and to think of what some did or thought about doing, mine were "mild", so to speak]

    no, i do not group all teens in one group, nor do i feel that my daughter or sons for that matter, will do some of the things i have done, or will do or will not do "anything" wrong, regardless of what said topic is.

    i know what i have taught from day one in our household and it is what i expect of them, who is the head of our lives, etc. and pray that not only my teachings but my examples will at least make them think.

    i do tell all three of mine, a son 22, a daughter, 16, and a son 14, that no matter what you do in life be it "good" or "bad", let it be their own individualized decisions because with the "bad" and depending on the "good", there are consequences.

    i have not and never will uphold any of them in their wrong doings but i will forever love them inspite of them.

    i said that to say this, i have chosen to put my daughter on birthday control pills and i will get her condoms because as you know, not only is teen pregnancy a problem, std are common too. moreover, i do pray she waits until she has finished high school, college, and get married, as i am sure we all wish the same for all of our children.


    my question, do you as a mother/parent feel "introducing" [of course, taking a teen to a health care provider for pap/complete physical exam, etc, first] teens to birth control and or condoms is saying, yes, go ahead and be sexually involved [intercourse] or do you feel that it is simply saying, just in case it happens.


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  2. 42 Comments

  3. by   memphispanda
    I think it's a great method of prevention. I believe in teaching your child they should wait, etc. But realistically, they will have chances to "do it" and a lot of them will take the chance.

    I have said for a while that when my daughter starts menstruating, she will shortly thereafter start taking the pill. I didn't get pregnant in high school through pure luck. I don't want my child to not have that luck.
  4. by   RNinICU
    I think it is being pragmatic and responsible. I talked to my kids about sex, and the responsibility that goes with it from the time they were very young. It is unrealistic to believe that young people in our culture are abstaining. Providing protection for them does not imply permission, but does demonstrate responsibility.
  5. by   Mattigan
    ^ what she said.
    l
  6. by   anitame
    Well said RNinICU. I can't tell you how many teen parents I see all the time. I highly doubt that a teen who is determined not to have sex will change her mind just because she is on the pill. The reality is that MANY MANY teens are having sex and many many parents have their heads in the sand and don't believe it. I would much rather have my daughters on BCP than see them raising a child at age 14, 16, 17, whatever.
    Anita
  7. by   cactus wren
    My oldest girl had a child at 19, not married, ect..I was one of those Moms


    not My daughter, I taught her better" Ok, so I learned, when youngest daughter started looking at boys( !! year difference in ages) I hustled her to Planned Parenthod, not only her, but also took any of her friends who wished to go...parental consent not required at that time...Not one of those girls had an unplanned pregnancy....So, I did learn...No matter what you, teach,preach, cagole or condem, if those hormones get to going...better have a safety net....
  8. by   frannybee
    I think your attitude to your kids is fabulous, you remind me a lot of my mother However, I don't necessarily agree with 'putting her on birth control pills' just because she's a menstruating teenager now. If you have an open and honest relationship with your daughter, which I'm sure you do, perhaps you could offer her the option, letting her know that if she *is* having sex, you'll deal with it rationally.

    I went on the pill at 15 for dysmenorrhoea and still waited til I was nearly 19 for the 'joy' of first-time sex with my then-fiance. Quite a few of my friends had similar experiences, and none of them felt that they should go out and shag just because they were 'covered' now. One friend was mortified when her mother took her to the doc for a checkup and raised the subject of OCPs - she is now happy in her lesbian relationship. She had been trying for months to work up the courage to tell her mum she thought she was gay and that one day put it back by about 5 years. I'm not saying your dtr is going to be gay or that it would be a problem if she was, just that in this instance it was *completely* unnecessary.

    Tip from a mother of 3 boys and 2 girls, aged 15-24...she has a huge glass bowl filled to the brim with condoms and dental dams in a discrete place near the front door. It is kept topped up and no questions are asked about who is using them or with whom, although all 5 kids are taken for their GUM checkups regularly and know they can talk to their parents about sex freely and without fear of reprisal. In the 9 years she's been doing this, her kids have voluntarily come to her about their relationships (sexual and otherwise) and there hasn't been a single STI or pregnancy scare.
  9. by   kittyw
    Not at all questioning your decision. I really wish I could have had a more open relationship with my stepmom.

    The only thing (spin) I would add is this: what would you do if your daughter expresses to you that she does NOT want to take the pills?
  10. by   emily_mom
    originally posted by love-a-nurse
    .

    i have chosen to put my daughter on birthday control pills

    i want some of them!! :d

    in all seriousness though, have you educated your daughter on the risks of stds? i understand where you're coming from in putting her on the pill, but you are only protecting her from pregnancy. what if she were to come home with herpes or god forbid, hiv? this is my only issue with putting her on the pill.

    i went on the pill when i was 16 and hid it from my mom for a long time. however, i wasn't always responsible in taking them.

    but, you know they're going to do it whether or not they are on birth control. i would just stress the importance of using condoms too. you just never know these days. things like chlamydia can be awfully sneaky.

    kristy
  11. by   sbic56
    Originally posted by memphispanda
    I think it's a great method of prevention. I believe in teaching your child they should wait, etc. But realistically, they will have chances to "do it" and a lot of them will take the chance.

    I have said for a while that when my daughter starts menstruating, she will shortly thereafter start taking the pill. I didn't get pregnant in high school through pure luck. I don't want my child to not have that luck.
    That's a realistic and common sense approach. While I don't have daughters, I provided my 2 sons with stash of condoms from about the age of 14 on. They were both taught the responsibility of a relationship and that sex was serious business. Most of all...never trust those adolescent hormones, male or female!!
  12. by   Vsummer1
    We all see teen pregnancies /STI's too often!

    I think you are doing exactly the right thing by the birth control pills AND THE CONDOMS!!
  13. by   Robin61970
    Alot of good responses here and I have to say I was a little worried about how some might react. I went on the pill at age 16 because my dad said "He knew how boys that age were". I took them for about 6 months before losing my virginity AND made him use a condom.....I knew I had them and I was protected so I would honestly say that I believe I had more sex than I would have if not on the pill. I was still careful and if I knew I did not take my pills adequately I used other protection....condoms, foam, and sponges. I had mostly steady beaus so it worked out. When I was 17 though I neglected my extras one night and I did end up pregnant. I lost the baby at 7 1/2 weeks, but it was an eye opener.
    I am glad you have that kind of relationship with your children....I hope to have the same with mine. I hope they know how lucky they are to have a mom like you...
  14. by   emily_mom
    Sorry Stephany, I didn't see that you were doing the condom thing and STD education. Way to go!!!

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