You Know You're From California If......

  1. So as not to be outdone by all the redneck, upstate New York and Texas jokes, you know you're from California if.........

    Your co-worker has 8 body piercings and none are visible.

    You make over $300,000 a year and still can't afford a house.

    You can't remember.....is pot illegal?

    Your child's 3rd-grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring and is named Breeze

    You've been to a baby shower that has two mommies and a sperm donor.

    You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans come from, and you can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian.

    You can't remember.......is pot illegal?

    A really great parking spot can move you to tears.

    A low-speed police pursuit will interrupt any TV broadcast.

    Gas costs a dollar a gallon more than anywhere else in the U.S.

    Unlike back home, the guy at the Starbucks wearing the baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney, IS George Clooney.

    Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.

    Your hairdresser is straight, your plumber is gay, the woman who delivers your mail is into S & M and your Mary Kay rep is a guy in drag.

    You can't remember......is pot illegal?

    It's barely misting, and there's a report on every news station: "Storm Watch".

    You pass an elementary school playground and the children all have cellphones or pagers.

    It's sprinkling outside, so you leave work an hour early just to avoid all the weather-related accidents........

    Hey! Is pot illegal?

    Both you AND your dog have therapists.

    And last but not least:

    The Terminator is your Governor.
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  2. 21 Comments

  3. by   leslie :-D
    marla, you kill me. what a crack up! and you're a good, little advocate for your home state.
  4. by   canoehead
    If my Mary Kay rep was a guy in drag I would be buying makeup just to chat with him
  5. by   teeituptom
    Canoehead, Im going to leave that alone.
  6. by   karenG
    Quote from canoehead
    If my Mary Kay rep was a guy in drag I would be buying makeup just to chat with him
    I dont know what a mary kay rep is???

    Karen
  7. by   Nurse Ratched
    Quote from karenG
    I dont know what a mary kay rep is???

    Karen
    It's like an Avon lady - she sells makeup .

    And the guys in drag always put on the best faces. Takes some great blending skills to cover up a 5:00 shadow.
  8. by   canoehead
    tom, you are just jealous...
  9. by   VivaLasViejas
    Yeah.......some of those guys are prettier than most women!

    I got this from my niece, who of course is from California (as are my sister, my hubby, our daughters and myself, although we've lived in Oregon for many years now). There are a few things I could add to the list, such as:

    You know you're from California if........

    You know what a REAL taco tastes like

    You amaze your out-of-state friends by being able to translate all the Spanish street names in your city

    You drive in the rain as if you, personally, were getting wet

    You have to look in the store window to know what season it is ("Hey Mabel, they got punkins down at the Rexall......must be gettin' close to Halloween")

    You get sunburned putting up the Christmas-tree lights on your house.
  10. by   leslie :-D
    Quote from mjlrn97

    You drive in the rain as if you, personally, were getting wet

    heeeeeeyyyy................pot MUST be legal.
  11. by   VivaLasViejas
    You know, they almost got it legalized some years back........they called it "decriminalization". If you got busted for less than an ounce, you got a ticket. That was it. And it only showed up as an infraction on your record. I remember going to court once for a couple of traffic citations that had gotten me into some relatively major hot water because I'd neither paid them nor appeared in court (I seriously considered pleading first-degree poverty complicated by second-degree stupidity, but I didn't think the judge would go along with that). As a result, there were a couple warrants out for my arrest and the bail had ballooned to almost $400, which in those days might as well have been $4 million. I came out of there with two misdemeanor convictions and a fine of $205.....while the guy sitting next to me, who'd been cited for possession, was let go with a suspended $25 fine and warned not to do it again. Go figure. :stone

    It's not that I think pot is all that awful; God knows I've smoked enough of the stuff in my lifetime, and I think I'm OK (oh, wait a minute, is pot illegal? ). But for someone to walk out of a California courtroom with nothing more serious than a slap on the wrist for drug possession, while Stupidhead here with the unpaid traffic tickets got hit with a large fine AND a criminal record to boot, just seemed WRONG. And I'd actually gotten off lucky; with it being my second similar offense, I could've drawn jail time and an even bigger fine than that. (Well, I never said I was particularly smart when I was young.......) Guess I should've stuck to smoking wacky tobacky if I was gonna venture into crime, it wouldn't have been so costly! :chuckle
  12. by   leslie :-D
    Quote from mjlrn97


    Guess I should've stuck to smoking wacky tobacky if I was gonna venture into crime, it wouldn't have been so costly! :chuckle
    OMG marla, we ARE twins.....oy. me and my damn speeding tickets or forgetting to acknowledge obviously misplaced stop signs.... but when you think about it, how aggressive is a pothead going to get??? 9 times out of 10 you forget what your intent was in the first place; and rather than stealing the cash from a bank, you'd end up swiping all their counter lollipops!!

    i would just rather NO ONE drive when they're under any influence.
  13. by   smk1
    how about:
    if you make 40 bucks and hour but are still broke
    you won't even notice any earthquake under 4.0
    even the most rundown house in the bad neighborhood has a pool
    you wonder if english is the native language anymore
    when you see a stop sigh you simple slow down and "roll on through"
  14. by   Spidey's mom
    Marla . . .so funny except Northern Californians would know how to drive in the rain and snow . . .no problem.

    We drive SUV's afterall.

    steph

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