YOU KNOW YOU ARE IN Florida IN JULY WHEN...

  1. The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.
    The trees are whistling for the dogs! .
    The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.
    Hot water now comes out of both taps.
    You can make sun tea instantly.
    You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron.
    The temperature drops below 95 and you feel a little chilly.
    You discover that in July it only takes 2 fingers to steer your car.
    You discover that you can get sunburned through your car window.
    You actually burn your hand opening the car door.
    You break into a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m.
    Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end
    up lying on the pavement and cook to death?"
    You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.
    The potatoes cook underground, so all you have to do is pull one out
    and add butter, salt, and pepper.
    Farmers are feeding their chicken's crushed ice to keep them from
    laying boiled eggs.
    The cows are giving evaporated milk.
    Ah, what a place to call home.
    Last edit by betts on May 10, '03
    •  
  2. 15 Comments

  3. by   gwenith
    Here in Or-stray-leeah that sort of thing happens all the time!

    One of my favourite cartoons was of an Australian standing in the middle of what is obviously hell with imps and flames all around and he is leaning on a stump saying to a devil "HOt? This isn't hot! you should have been in outback Australia last year!"
  4. by   P_RN
    It's so hot in South Carolina that......

    I was plowing my corn the other day, the corn started poppin', my mule thought it was snowing and froze to death in the middle of July.

    The heatsicles are hanging from the eaves

    You can say 113 degrees without fainting.
  5. by   SingingNurse2
    You're scaring me! I'm taking vacation in Florida the last week of June and I hate to be hot!

    We have always gone in March but had to change this year because my kids lost spring break because of snow make up days.
  6. by   psychonurse
    hey you think Florida is bad.......I am going to San Antonio in August......I think I will be cooked well when I get back......
  7. by   P_RN
    Gonna be HOT SingingNurse, gonna be hot!
  8. by   BadBird
    Not to mention that you take a shower, get dressed, go outside and are drenched in sweat in less than 30 seconds, you feel like you never showered! If you open cereal or chips you must put them in tupperware or they get stale in less than a hour. Aaaah so many memories of when I lived in Fl, I am soooooo glad I don't live there anymore.

    Of course you can tell when it is Fall in Fl, the out of state license plates decorate and congest all major roads. Otherwise it just remains hot and humid.
  9. by   SmilingBluEyes
    I would not be caught DEAD in the Southeast in summertime. But then if I were there then, I probably WOULD BE....


    dead.

    TOO hot for me.
  10. by   bossynurse
    I lived in Orlando for a year. I moved back to Illinois years ago and let me tell you that there is no difference in the midwestern humid July heat and Florida in July except that in Florida the Ocean is never more thant an hour and a half away wherever you are (by ocean I mean gulf as well).every other house has a pool. Im going to daytona in the middle of June. My parents timeshare every June in daytona. Love it.
  11. by   CashewLPN
    I was in Puerto Rico in AUGUST a few years ago... and, know what... it was HOT!!!!!
    I was a nice fan of the beach, before my very pasty white skin, which usually never burns turned a beautiful shade of cooked lobster,,, (if you're broiled and ya know it click yer claws... click click)
    at which point, I decided to hang out neck deep in the beautiful azure water.... which I could see my toes in.... which was a mistake.... after returning back home, i was a giant boiled lump of burn... can anyone say sun poisioning? <----(me)
    but, it was a great trip.... just remember.... theres this blue stuff that smells bad that has a 'caine' anesthetic in it that makes it bearable...
    --Barbara
  12. by   Rustyhammer
    I'll stay here in good ol New Mexico.
    July temps are in the mid 80's
    -Russell
  13. by   LaVorneRN
    Originally posted by psychonurse
    hey you think Florida is bad.......I am going to San Antonio in August......I think I will be cooked well when I get back......
    This is our first summer in Florida but we're from Houston so we think we know what's coming. Luckily we're close to lots of beaches (we're between Pensacola and Destin) and are able to drive again so lots of road trips!

    How about when you realize the difference between antiperspirant and deodorant........doesn't really matter at 110 degrees. Can you say "stinkicky"?(I made it up! )
  14. by   nurs4kids
    It never seemed very hot to me, the Gulf area, at least. Few years back, though, I played a softball tournament in Jacksonville in August. THAT was hot. We'd played in Orlando a few weeks before, so we thought we knew what to expect. Nope, it was ten times worse..humidity was awful. We won that one, so then the next leg was in Arizona. We dreaded it..just knew we were going to die w/o the ocean breeze. The temperature was right up there with the rest, but the humidity was not there. It was soooo nice.

    A good friend lives in Panama City..two blocks from the beach. Refuses to run the A/C. And wonders why I don't come visit more often..LOL

close