Wwyd?

  1. I occasionally work with a nurse who is giving me extreme problems. She's charge when I work with her since I'm an LPN. She is an older nurse, well past retirement age. She does have hearing problems but refuses to recognize it. That really doesn't bother me. Her personality bothers me badly. I can guarantee that every time I work with her she is going to publicly rake me out about something insignificant. She is a very religious person, but she's almost militant about it. I am also a religious person, but I've never in my life seen someone act like this. Anyway, now to the specifics. Not too long ago, I was in a pt's room and she also was in there hanging abx for me. The pt asked how I'd slept and I said I was so tired that I just died when my head hit the pillow. The other nurse proceeded to berate me about my choice of words in front of the pt. She only does this stuff when in front of others. I know she doesn't like me because I pointed out to her that her pet CNA was rubbing her pet status in her coworkers' faces several months ago. It has gotten worse since then. If her pet CNA can witness it, then she tries that much harder. She's basically what I'd call the floor matriarch and I fear that she may be saying things to the boss about me that may not be true. I don't have proof of this, but my boss was quick to fill my position when I had to cut my hours and she hasn't done anyone else like this. I'm afraid to say anything to this nurse because I don't want to have to listen to it or end up getting written up over fabricated mistakes. I'm also afraid to say anything to my boss because I haven't really made an effort to be close to her like this nurse has. Not to mention I'm not entirely sure that this would be kept confidential. WWYD?
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  2. 9 Comments

  3. by   leslie :-D
    if it were me, i'd be having a 1:1 with this nurse.
    w/o being emotional, i would ask her why she feels the need to belittle you.
    when she asks "what are you talking about?', you could give examples.
    before it gets personal, just tell her you would like to have a professional and civil relationship when working together: nothing more, nothing less.
    she'll also likely receive this feedback better, if you tell her that you respect her experience, or you could learn alot from her....you know, stroke her ego w/feel-good but sincere words.
    whenever i have to talk w/someone, i always make it a point to identify the positives, and then proceed to share it w/the person i'm talking to.
    just keep your emotions in check, maintain eye contact and speak w/integrity.
    you'll do fine.
    i've known people such as the nurse you work with.
    honestly, they're usually very fragile underneath their tough facade.

    leslie
  4. by   SouthernLPN2RN
    Thanks Leslie!! I've been thinking of attempting this. It really has made me get to where I don't want to work if it has to be with her.
  5. by   Tweety
    She continues to do this to you because you give her permission because you haven't confronted her.

    There's a good book called "Crucial Confrontations" that might help. It's made me an advocate for not beating around the bush and avoiding conversations that need to happen.

    Why be miserable, it couldnt' get any worse could it. Don't be afraid.

    Leslie gives good advice. You have to be professional, calm, cool and non-aggressive when you approach her.

    Good luck.
  6. by   CHATSDALE
    people continue to do things that 'work' if you don't stand up and demand respect you will continue to be stomped on...and you may be helping someone else down the road
  7. by   SouthernLPN2RN
    Thanks y'all! I do have a history of being a doormat, but I'm working up to it. I've just had enough. I am scheduled to work with her again soon.
  8. by   Fun2, RN, BSN
    I hope you get everything worked out. :icon_hug:
  9. by   compassion1
    Let us know how it works out, K?
  10. by   UM Review RN
    Quote from southernlpn
    I occasionally work with a nurse who is giving me extreme problems. She's charge when I work with her since I'm an LPN. She is an older nurse, well past retirement age. She does have hearing problems but refuses to recognize it. That really doesn't bother me. Her personality bothers me badly. I can guarantee that every time I work with her she is going to publicly rake me out about something insignificant. She is a very religious person, but she's almost militant about it. I am also a religious person, but I've never in my life seen someone act like this. Anyway, now to the specifics. Not too long ago, I was in a pt's room and she also was in there hanging abx for me. The pt asked how I'd slept and I said I was so tired that I just died when my head hit the pillow. The other nurse proceeded to berate me about my choice of words in front of the pt. She only does this stuff when in front of others. I know she doesn't like me because I pointed out to her that her pet CNA was rubbing her pet status in her coworkers' faces several months ago. It has gotten worse since then. If her pet CNA can witness it, then she tries that much harder. She's basically what I'd call the floor matriarch and I fear that she may be saying things to the boss about me that may not be true. I don't have proof of this, but my boss was quick to fill my position when I had to cut my hours and she hasn't done anyone else like this. I'm afraid to say anything to this nurse because I don't want to have to listen to it or end up getting written up over fabricated mistakes. I'm also afraid to say anything to my boss because I haven't really made an effort to be close to her like this nurse has. Not to mention I'm not entirely sure that this would be kept confidential. WWYD?
    I haven't read the responses, but I completely sympathize, having been a victim of this type of behavior a few times. In the end, it always bites them in the butt, so now, when someone publicly berates me, I just call them on it and say something like, "Do you realize you're berating me in front of a patient? How professional is that?" and walk away.
  11. by   SmilingBluEyes
    we teach others how to treat us. be sure you are clear about your boundaries with all difficult people. it works in most cases....and w/those that are extremely difficult maybe, after you have had a 1 to 1 with this person, you will have to involve supervision. good luck.

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