I noticed you were 30, not much younger than me.
I would give him another 6 months and then I would start dropping hints at leaving. If he hasn't made up his mind in 2 1/2 years, trust me from PERSONAL experience (and I have many, many friends that would advise you of the same), if he isn't willing to do an engagement FOR WHICH A MARRIAGE WILL VERY SOON follow, then he has already told you where he stands.
If he is using what happened when he was barely out of high school as a crutch, then he is too immature for marriage or any other commitment. When I was 30, I could barely remember what I was doing at 19, it seemed THAT insignificant.
I hate to break it to you like that, but I have seen friends of mine wait 5 years, 8 years, 10 years, for someone to marry them that wouldn't.
It is BETTER to be single than to be with someone because you feel you have to pledge the sorority of marriage to 'join the club'. The divorce rate in this country is now 62%, so I can officially say I am no longer in the minority. I don't even know if I met someone tomorrow, if I could even live with them because the older I get it's hard to imagine someone else here. I like the life my daughter and I have with just each other.
Marriage isn't just about YOU, it's not about HIM, it's about YOU TOGETHER as a team, and if you both aren't working toward the same goal, or if either one of you feels pressured into it, it won't work.
I wish you luck