Woe is me

  1. Forgive my whine but I must get it off my chest. My hubby had a knee replacement on 4/22 his second on this knee. Although I realize how hard rehab is let me tell you it is no picnic for me either, I had to be there almost around the clock, do everything for him, and now at home my back is about broken, I am exhausted. He always takes a lot of care but with my job, kids, pets and his constant complaining that nothing I do is right I am about to snap. I realize that after I get to sleep a bit I will be more understanding but right now I just need to vent. Thanks for listening.
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  2. 11 Comments

  3. by   nurseunderwater
    :whack: the sound of the good pt stick hitting him on the head..

    oh, and here is another vicodin for him ....
    Last edit by nurseunderwater on Apr 26, '04
  4. by   leslie :-D
    i'd kick him in the knee and go for knee replacement #3.....and hold the vicodin.
  5. by   nurseygrrl
    (((((hugs))))) I'm hoping things get better for you! Tell him you're feeling under-appreciated and ask if he can hold the complaining a bit. Maybe he doesn't realize you're at your breaking point. 'For better or worse'
  6. by   leslie :-D
    seriously, (guys don't get defensive) i find that the male species are not very brave patients. my husband is the BIGGEST baby when it comes to any medical woe. and i'm a horrible nurse to him. sometimes you just have to step back and treat them as you would any other of your difficult pts.
  7. by   Tweety
    Quote from earle58
    seriously, (guys don't get defensive) i find that the male species are not very brave patients. my husband is the BIGGEST baby when it comes to any medical woe. and i'm a horrible nurse to him. sometimes you just have to step back and treat them as you would any other of your difficult pts.

    If males are like that then it's probably a females fault, either mom, girlfriend/wife, or both.

    (Problem is when a momma's boy expects wife to be momma (and many times wifes go into that role right away) and wife yells "I ain't your momma"! LOL

    (My mom wasn't very nuturing when we were sick, probably because she was an abused child, so now when I'm sick I demand to be left alone, very independent, and no babying me, just stay away. )
  8. by   Tweety
    Quote from BadBird
    Forgive my whine but I must get it off my chest. My hubby had a knee replacement on 4/22 his second on this knee. Although I realize how hard rehab is let me tell you it is no picnic for me either, I had to be there almost around the clock, do everything for him, and now at home my back is about broken, I am exhausted. He always takes a lot of care but with my job, kids, pets and his constant complaining that nothing I do is right I am about to snap. I realize that after I get to sleep a bit I will be more understanding but right now I just need to vent. Thanks for listening.

    Time to take some time out for yourself. If nothing if good enough, tell him to do it himself for a day then it will be done to his satisfaction.

    I know you're just venting. Hope things get better soon. Take care of yourself. Hugs.
  9. by   nursedawn67


    Time for Ninja mom to kick some fanny and tell everyone to give you a break.




    Don't end up like this smiley! get yourself some time to yourself.

    Oh yeah.....(((HUGS)))
  10. by   leslie :-D
    Quote from Cameron67


    Time for Ninja mom to kick some fanny and tell everyone to give you a break.




    Don't end up like this smiley! get yourself some time to yourself.

    Oh yeah.....(((HUGS)))
    i don't know why but i just cracked up at the thought of ninja mommy kicking butt, love it
  11. by   Spidey's mom
    Tweety . . . my husband was great after his ACL repair. Not a baby at all. Did his own ADL's and wouldn't let me help. Rehab without me being there. He grew up on a farm with warm and caring but no-nonsense parents so maybe you are right, it depends on how his parents treated him.

    BadBird . .sorry for your troubles. Whack his parents instead

    steph
  12. by   leslie :-D
    tis very true, i hate having anyone near me when i'm sick and i was not nurtured at all when i was little. bad bird, encourage some independence with him....refuse to feed into the dependency role. let us know how he's doing, then we'll know how you're doing.
  13. by   chris_at_lucas_RN
    OP, sounds like you need some respite! Try to find someone who isn't nearly as good at taking care of the DH as you are, and perhaps he will be more appreciative.

    I can share an anecdote (it's rather pointless, but may be amusing). One of my previous husbands ( ) had a horrible MVA six months into our marriage. At first not expected to live, then not expected to walk, then not expected to ever be without pain or a limp. Thankfully, he is now so well recovered that if he has the ankle covered (the ankle got the worst of it--but he smashed everything down the left side and is riddled with plates, screws and possibly still a wire or two), no one who didn't know him then would ever guess that he'd been hurt.

    Anyway, he was about 2 or 3 weeks out of the hospital when it's time for his National Guard weekend, and he decides to go. I've been taking care of him to the exclusion of almost everything and everyone else, and I am now worried sick! But, he's gotta do what he's gotta do, right?

    We get to the airport, we find his unit, he limps in there on his crutches, and I'm carrying his duffel bag and something else (can't remember, but the sucker was heavy!). The plane is delayed. I wait with him. Finally they are ready to leave, he is the first one called and I'm already feeling a little silent fire within because none of these guys lifts a finger to help him!

    (Here's the good part.) He then stands, balances on his crutches, picks up one bag then the other, and, well-balanced, makes it to the plane with no problem at all. This is the guy who would wake me up nightly with a gentle tap of the cane on my arm (or whatever) if he wanted little old exhausted me to wake up and get him a drink of water or some ice cream!!

    I was so :angryfire. Stayed that way all weekend. When I went to pick him up I was verbally armed for bear. I harranged him about half the way home, when I realized he was looking out the window away from me. Double :angryfire !! I demanded he look at me when I was speaking to him, and when he turned around, he was grinning.

    I've learned a lot since then. Can't ID it all, but I've learned a lot.

    So, when I say my heart is with you, it really is! Take care!
    Last edit by chris_at_lucas on Apr 27, '04

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