With sincere apologies to Edgar Allen Poe

  1. Once upon a midnight dreary,
    While I pondered weak and weary,
    Over patients charts and labs galore,
    Suddenly there came a dinging,
    As if something loudly ringing.
    From the monitor at bed four.

    I rushed right over to the bedside.
    "Bring me atropine." I cried.
    The patient's rate was forty four.
    I pushed the med through an IV lock,
    The patient was in complete heart block.
    And I muttered"Nevermore."

    The patient said,"I'm getting dizzy."
    My orientee was in a tizzy.
    She looked ready to hit the floor.
    The patient's rate was getting slower,
    Now her BP was dropping lower
    Again I whispered, "Nevermore,"

    Dr ____ was the one on call.
    I knew I could no longer stall,
    I paged him three times, maybe four.
    He said "I'm there fast as a racer,
    We will do a temporary pacer,
    I'll be right there, that's for sure."

    When the doc arrived, he looked tired.
    We gave him coffee to get him wired.
    The rate was now at thirty four.
    He placed the pacer, but had some trouble
    We got a chest film on the double.
    I heard him mutter "Nevermore,"

    The ED is calling about an admit.
    Resusitation they cannot quit
    But she is a GOOD ninety four.
    The family says that we must save her
    Her living will is just a paper
    Do everything you can, and more.

    "Please give me time to pee," I said
    We can't, the patient's almost dead."
    As they came crashing through the door.
    "We'd like to help, but we can't stay,
    Three more ambulances on the way,"
    Her BP's down to sixty four

    We ran the dopamine wide open.
    Dr. _____ said "Let's put a Swan in."
    The time was now a quarter till four.
    The family wants to stay at the bedside
    My orientee has gone to hide
    Again I whisper"Nevermore."

    The PA insertion was a tough one
    It took a while to get it done
    There was betadine dripping on the floor
    Now the family says "Enough"
    "We didn't know it would be so rough."
    I heard the doc say "Nevermore."

    Now the day shift is arriving
    In my car I'll soon be driving
    To my bed to sleep and snore,
    In my bed it haunts my dreams
    Something keeps repeating it seems
    Just one word "Nevermore."

    When I awaken from my slumber
    The first thing I check is the lottery numbers.
    I can't believe, I got all four.
    Then next day with great elation
    Gave my boss my resignation
    One simple word "Nevermore."
    •  
  2. 14 Comments

  3. by   dianah
    Whooooooooooo!!!! Loved it, RNinICU! Thanks! -- D
  4. by   hapeewendy
    you are amazing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    that was wonderful!
  5. by   MIKEY LIKES
    Nevermore will I hear a ryme such as yours.
  6. by   DIPLOMATICRN4HIRE
    That was cool, Your very talented
    Zoe
  7. by   researchrabbit
    :chuckle :roll

    I just about fell on the floor I laughed so much!
  8. by   vashka25
    That was fantastic !!!!!!!!!!! The girls are going to love this one at work.....just thinking about what doc to throw in there....lol.
  9. by   Jenny P
    HEY! TED!!! Get over here!!!!

    This is great!
  10. by   anitame
    Wow!! You are awesome. Don't apologize to Poe, you're MUCH better than he was!
    Anita
  11. by   Ted
    Poe would be proud! We sure are! Great prose!

    Ted
  12. by   Ted
    Your prose can easily be set to music! Interested?!?!? We've got a lyric thread going. Please feel free to contribute if you haven't already done so. It's a collaborative effort in writing a lyric (or set of lyrics) about the ugliness of charting.

    Cheers to you!
  13. by   emily_mom
    WOW!!! That was wonderful! I only wish I were 1/4 as talented as you.....

    Kristy
  14. by   hapeewendy
    kristy , you have farm animals with orthodontics...
    you're PLENTY talented

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