While I was in nursing school
, I got the worst case of chapped lips in my life. No matter what I put on my lips, they remained red, sore, and swollen. I finally figured out that I was allergic to anything with scent added to it, i.e. Blistex, Chapstix, etc. One day when I got home, it was so-o-o-o-o-o bad that I rummaged through all my make-up, found an old tube of Clinique bright, blood-red lipstick and just rubbed it all over and around my lips (and I mean AROUND my lips). I then got busy cleaning, dusting, cooking (I'm lying -- I actually sat and played a video game, but in the version I tell my husband I was cleaning, dusting, etc) Anyway, about an hour later, the doorbell rings. I answer the door, and it's my Terminix man who has been keeping my house free of fleas for several years. But that day, he sure was acting weird. He didn't want to talk and sure seemed in a hurry to get out of my house. After he left, another hour went by (you know how time flies when you are cleaning -- OR playing a video game) and I had to "void". I turned on the light, caught my reflection in the mirror. I LOOKED INSANE! I looked like Bette Davis in "Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?"!!! I had totally forgotten about the lipstick! I started laughing so hard, I actually peed my pants! The next month when my bug man came back, I explained to him about my lipstick. He told me he thought I had finally had a nervous breakdown from nursing school! Ha!
One time a father and son were leaving the hospital for the night and wanted to leave a number for me to call in case something happened to the wife/mom. The husband's name was Dick, and when I asked the son his name, he replied, "I'm a Dick, too." You would have been very proud, I did not even crack a smile. But then I just had to ask, "Well, if I have to call, do I ask for Big Dick or Little Dick?" Of course, as soon as it was out of my mouth, I was mortified and my face just flamed! The husband didn't even flinch, just said, "It doesn't matter, either one." You could hear a pin drop in the nurses station until we heard the elevator doors open and shut, but then the howling of laughter started! I still get teased about that one.