wife V husband

  1. wife vs. husband
    a couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a
    word. an earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them
    wanted to concede their position. as they passed a barnyard of mules,
    goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "relatives of yours?"
    "yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."

    a husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use
    a day..30,000 to a man's 15,000. the wife replied, "the reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men..."
    the husband then turned to his wife and asked, "what?"

    a man said to his wife one day, "i don't know how you can be so
    stupid and so beautiful all at the same time. the wife responded, "allow me to explain. god made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; god made me stupid so i would be attracted to you!

    who does what
    a man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning. the wife said, "you should do it because you get up first, and then wedon't have to wait as long to get our coffee. the husband said, "you are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it because that is your job, and i can just wait for my coffee." wife replies, "no, you should do it, and besides, it is in the bible that the man should do
    the coffee." husband replies, "i can't believe that, show me." so she
    fetched the bible, and opened the new testament and showed him at the
    top of several pages, that! it indeed says .......... "hebrews"

    the silent treatment
    a man and his wife were having some problems at home
    and were giving each other the silent treatment. suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 am for an early morning business flight. not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and lose), he wrote on a piece of paper, "please wake me at 5:00 am." he left it where he knew she would find it. the next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 am and he had missed his flight. furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. the paper said, "it is 5:00 am. wake up."
  2. 17 Comments

  3. by   NursesRmofun
    hahahahaha. Just read them to the BF. Love 'em!
  4. by   dianah
    Love 'em, especially the first and last!!! Hail to the Queens and Divas of the Estrogen Hormone!!! WOOT!!
  5. by   suzy253
    Love it!
  6. by   donsterRN
  7. by   sirI
    Quote from Don3218
    tee hee hee
  8. by   RainDreamer
  9. by   Medic2RN
  10. by   nursemary9
    :chuckle :chuckle :chuckle :roll :roll :roll :roll :roll
  11. by   Corvette Guy
    because men & women are regarding the landscape from contrasting vantage points, the same scene can appear very different to them, and they often have opposite interpretations of the same action.

    a husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use
    a day..30,000 to a man's 15,000. the wife replied, "the reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men..."
    the husband then turned to his wife and asked, "what?"

    a women will be inclined to repeat a request that doesn't get a response since she is convinced her husband would do what she ask, if he only understood that she really wants him to do it. however, if a husband wants to avoid feeling as if he is following orders may instinctively wait before doing what was asked by his wife, in order to imagine he is doing such of his own free will. nagging is the result, due to each time she repeats the request, the husband again puts off the request.

    i don't care to address the other female cliche type parables mentioned. however, i would like to add i never feel uncomfortable stopping at a gas station to ask for directions even if i've plotted out the route via mapquest ahead of time. therefore, a very important fact for you ladies to consider is there are exceptions to every gender pattern, may that be female v male, or wife v husband such as the one's posted by the op.

    patterns of human behavior regards to gender are a combination of both biological & cultural influences. it is important to understand these gender differences in order to accept, as well as modify accordingly so that male & females can co-exist cohesively in a productive manner as nurses. i realize the op's original intent was all in good humor, but the battle between the sexes does truely exist, especially in the nursing profession [jmo; in the civilian nursing sector the battle is more covert]. fortunately, in the amedd with males being around 34% of the rns in the anc, compared to 7% in the civilian sector, female gender bias parables seem to be less prevalent.

    i'd like to give kudos to deborah tannen for writing such an excellent book; you just don't understand: women and men in conversation. she conveys the message that it is important to find a common language between genders through understanding & acceptance in order to strengthen professional & personal relationships. siri, please know that i understand your intentions were in good fun & appreciate such.

  12. by   SmilingBluEyes
    Ummmm interesting, CG...

    Anyhow, back to the fun and games!!!

    I thought it was hilarious!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Gonna read these to the dh later.
  13. by   Roy Fokker
    siri ~
  14. by   sirI
    Quote from Roy Fokker
    siri ~