why do I act like this???

  1. OK here's the deal.

    I love what I do, I think I am pretty good at what I do. But I also make an idiot out of myself constantly with my stupid mouth.

    I got hired by a ground ambulance company to work, with a real possibility that I could get to flight nurse---which is my dream!!!
    We had some orientation today--and last week, and we were having a discussion and I was trying to make a point and someone kept talking over me ( assuming he understood what I was trying to say ) and I got irritated and told him to shut up that he wasn't listening to me. (which I apologized for later) of course right in front of my new boss. Every time I opened my mouth something stupid came out of it. And NOOOOO I just couldn't keep my mouth shut.

    Problem is, I do alot of prehospital care in an environment of outspokeness--you say what is on your mind (primarily male) When I am at work I don't act like that. At least I don't think so. I mean I am assertive---but not a bully. I am who I am and most people accept me for that.

    I am just afraid that they think that I am an idiot and obnoxious. I am really not----maybe it is just poor impulse control. I have made an idiot out of myself before---I don't know if it was just nerves, or excitement or what. I acted like a psycho case--and I keep thinking that they kept looking at me and thinking--how did she ever get to where she is at.

    Sorry for the book,
    Thanks for letting me get it off my chest.
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  2. 10 Comments

  3. by   ptnurse
    Apolgize to all you offended and don't let it happen again. You have no idea how quickly people forget. (As long as you don't reinforce the idea with repeated offenses.) And try not to be too hard on yourself. You are going to be a great flight nurse.
  4. by   atownsendrn
    petiteflower - although apologizing sounds like the right thing to do in this case. And maybe talking to your new boss about the situation. I don't think you should be too hard on yourself. Afterall, assertiveness is something that you have to have to survive in an ER

    We are assertive, bossy, loud at times, and always right. And anyone who is around us loves us for who and what we are. We are good at our jobs. And our patients get great care. And they are better off that we are ER nurses.

    Good luck in your new job. Hang in there.:kiss
  5. by   shygirl
    "Never say anything in the first place that you cannot take back later" My Grandmother's advice.

    She also said to slow down when you are speaking so you have time to think.

    "Keep your words soft and sweet, you'll never know from time to time which ones you'll have to eat"

    That is my favorite quote. Even though I do what you did on occasion.
    Good luck, Shygirl
  6. by   Tweety
    I have the opposite problem. I tend to keep it inside. But there's got to be a better way than "shut up". LOL The old assertive "I'm sorry, but I feel my opinion wasn't valid because you interrupted me...."
  7. by   SmilingBluEyes
    So interesting how women who are outspoken are shall we say...(female dogs, won't even allude to the appropriate word)

    ...yet men who are outspoken are celebrated. I say dont' worry about it. If it is that bothersome to you and you feel you must say your apologies, do so then forget about it. They will.
  8. by   atownsendrn
    Originally posted by shygirl
    [B
    "Keep your words soft and sweet, you'll never know from time to time which ones you'll have to eat"

    [/B]
    LOVE IT
  9. by   petiteflower
    Thanks guys. I went back the second day--and things were ok.

    In response to smilingblueyes---probably why most of my friends are men!!
  10. by   nowplayingEDRN
    Originally posted by 3rdShiftGuy
    I have the opposite problem. I tend to keep it inside. But there's got to be a better way than "shut up". LOL The old assertive "I'm sorry, but I feel my opinion wasn't valid because you interrupted me...."
    or one could say, Excuse me, I was not finished speaking. But then, I am of the outspoken, assertive crowd, which also explains why I get on so smashing with all the fellas I work with
  11. by   jnette
    Yep.. agree with Deb and Untamed here... don't lose your assertiveness but "shut up" isn't kool from male OR female.

    Something along the line of " thank you for interrupting, now may I continue"...

    Don't allow yourself to be tromped on, but keep it tactful and keep a sense of humor.
  12. by   sjoe
    Read a book or two on assertiveness. From your account, you have nothing to apologize for (except not fitting into the stereotyped "female" role).

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