Why did the chicken cross the road?

  1. WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

    DR. PHIL:
    The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he
    must first deal with the problem on "THIS" side of the road before it
    goes after the problem on the "OTHER SIDE" of the road. What we need to
    do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his
    "CURRENT" problems before adding "NEW" problems.

    OPRAH:
    Well I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he
    wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn
    from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to
    give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and
    not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

    GEORGE W BUSH:
    We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to
    know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is
    either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

    COLIN POWELL:
    Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image
    of the chicken crossing the road...

    ANDERSON COOPER - CNN:
    We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been
    allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

    JOHN KERRY:
    Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against
    it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's
    intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

    NANCY GRACE:
    That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in
    his eyes and the way he walks.

    PAT BUCHANAN:
    To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

    MARTHA STEWART:
    No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a
    standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price
    dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider
    information.

    DR SEUSS:
    Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the
    chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

    ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
    To die in the rain. Alone.

    JERRY FALWELL:
    Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth in
    front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's
    why they call it the "other side." Yes, my friends, that chicken is
    gay.
    And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott
    all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media
    whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side." That
    chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and simple as
    that!

    GRANDPA:
    In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told
    us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

    BARBARA WALTERS:
    Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the
    chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it
    experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its
    life long dream of crossing the road.

    JOHN LENNON:
    Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in
    peace.

    ARISTOTLE:
    It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

    BILL GATES:
    I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads, but
    will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check
    book.
    Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken. This new platform is
    much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^( C \ .... reboot.

    ALBERT EINSTEIN:
    Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the
    chicken?

    BILL CLINTON:
    I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of
    chicken?

    AL GORE:
    I invented the chicken!

    COLONEL SANDERS:
    Did I miss one?
    •  
  2. 12 Comments

  3. by   mercyteapot
    Even though I know this was intended to be witty, I feel like this is the kind of thing that happens amongst a couple of women with whom I work. We can't seem to have a conversation about anything at all, because we have to belabor every point.
  4. by   DutchgirlRN
    That's really good Teapot. Thanks!!!
  5. by   compassion1
    I got a real chuckle out of this. Thanks.
  6. by   mercyteapot
    My favorite response is the one from Colonel Sanders! Grandpa's reply is good, too.
  7. by   sirI
    Love these, mercy. I liked grandpa's, too.


  8. by   donsterRN
    I thought this was a hoot!
  9. by   tnbutterfly
    Made me cackle. (Owls hoot, Don)
  10. by   CHATSDALE
    magnificant i loved it
  11. by   muffie
    what was that about a chicken ?
  12. by   Marie_LPN, RN
    Lol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  13. by   UM Review RN
    ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
    To die in the rain. Alone.

    I love the black humor. This one was the best.
  14. by   Roy Fokker
    Why did the chicken cross the road?

    To get to the other side.

    *ta-dum-tish*

    Yeah I know you're out there folks - I can hear you leaving

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