I just buried an old friend of mine and I can't seem to shake it. I have gone to school with him since I was eleven. He has always been apart of my circle of friends. He led a wreckless life back then. And never grew out of it. He was an alcoholic. And drinking was how he was killed...matter of fact visitation was held on the night of his 29th birthday. Too imagine how his disease affected him back then...in eighth grade and followed him throughout his life. Alcoholism was in his immediate family. It had been 7 yrs since I had seen him...needless to say he did not look like himself...b/c of the accident. I am just having hard time with so many mixed emotions. To see him fall to this... and to remember him as a child...and as a rebellious teen. Just once I would have loved to just run into him again...to say hi. To reunite. I have a friend that plays mediator with the circle...you know...that keeps us current on what we are up to these days. But, now all I have are these old memories. And this old cirlce of friends that I haven't seen in so long...so long that it is awkward to grieve with them...we all have seperate lives now. I am sad b/c where does time go? We all thought we were inseperable...and i can hear the words "forever friends" It is so hard to speak to my husband b/c he dosen't know that part of my life. My old friend was in the process of getting help "once again." On top of that my exboyfriend that I had dated for 5yrs of my life ccame through the door at the end of the service. He was very close with our friend that passed. Of course I had not seen him in 7 yrs either. We had a perfect love but different calling in life...so we went our seperate ways. This made the day even harder. Its one thing to run into an ex that treated you so bad...but what about one that was so good? Just at the wrong time. And I so badly wanted to catch up time with him and grieve...but what do you do? It was awkward with my dead friend there and the love of my life. We spoke under tears and left well enough alone. Now i can't deal. I love my husband...but five yrs of my life with my ex has come to this. And we had always said forever. Thanks for listening. Sorry to be so long winded.