I am so sorry for your loss and have prayed for you and Grandma Cookie. God is taking care of Cookie now and I'm sure that she is very happy with him. He'll take good care of her until the day you can be reunited with her. So think of it as only a temporary loss. That thought always helps me through the hard times after a death of a loved one. Someday you'll be with her again...
I have had to take a few pets to the vet to relieve their suffering and it NEVER gets any easier. The last time, I had to take my cat Smokey. Actually it was my son's cat. Smokey was 4 years old, my son was 8. When the vet told us that we could try dialysis, but his prognosis was very poor and it would be very expensive (over $4,000) to do on a pet with a very poor prognosis. He left the room to give me some time to think about it. My son looked up at me with his tear-filled eyes and said "Mommy, you can do alot of over time!" I started to cry with him and hugged him tightly. I told him that even with the dialysis he was sure to pass away because he was so sick(and near death).
It was time to let Smokey go to God because he'll be happy there. God will make him feel a whole lot better. Then one day when we go to stay with God, we'll be able to see Smokey again. He'll be waiting for us with God in heaven. He really wasn't over joyed with that answer, but his concern was that he wanted Smokey to feel better even if it ment "letting him go" to heaven to be with God. We missed him very much and time is what we needed to help heal the pain of our loss. That was 8 years ago and we still talk about Smokey and what a little BRAT (spoiled rotten) he was. He still misses him, but not like 8 years ago on that rainy Saturday morning.
You'll get through this kid, but it's going to take some time for you to heal from the pain of this loss. Go ahead and cry and cry 'til you can't cry anymore, but remember your other babies need your love...Go give them a great BIG
hug. You did the right thing for Cookie and she's at peace now with God.
Here's a good web site you might want to visit: www.pet-loss.net.
It may help you out. Take care of yourself...You are #1!!!