To be truthful.......I STILL AWAIT those "this has to be the right one for me" FEELINGS. :chuckle
I like men......I love men.....I enjoy men.....but have I been "hit over the head" with a "this is the one for me" moment???? HELL NOOOOO!!! Aint nuttin' that great!!!
Okay.....met first boyfriend at age 15...married said boyfriend several weeks after my 18th birthday...stayed married to said spouse 18 years...
Did he kiss me and sparks fly? NO!
When he finally made love to me...was it good for me? NO!
Why did I marry him? He embraced me like no other human being ever had before. He was kind, affectionate, generous, and WANTED me to marry him....so I said yes.....I mean....as DYSFUNCTIONAL as I was (and later found him to be), what the heck did I know about "healthy love"??? I/HE DID NOT!!!
Dated men between hubby 1 and hubby 2: Some were okay...some were scrubs
...some were wayyyyyyyy out there. :chuckle
Only one man that I met whom I could have married in between the two I settled for, and that was the Hawaiian Chinese guy that I dated when I lived in Hawaii...Jason Kealiinohomoku...Mmmmm...now he did it for me...but not in the way that spelled FIREWORKS...ya know??? Sure ya do!
Married hubby 2 twelve years ago this month...not my pick...my oldest daughter and son-in-law picked him...insisted I date him...wanted me to "get over" hubby 1. Well...THAT didn't work because I get SOME of their "behaviors" confused at times. Sometimes I ask hubby 2 if he and hubby 1 are really identical twins in another life??? :chuckle Sometimes I wonder if I married the same "behaviors" all over again....only with hubby 2......the SEX...well...I am FINALLY having REAL sex.
"Puppy love" does exist when you're 'young' and hormonal. Those hormones can make you feel all sorts of "good things"...BUT...LIFE has a way of MATURING those hormones...then the BLINDERS come off...the rose grows thorns...and you either fall in love knowing that with the rose comes the thorns, or you end up celebate or stay in a marriage of "uncontent" the rest of your life. You see...CONTENTMENT is the juice that holds a rose and a thorn together...they respect one another's qualities and don't step over their boundaries so as not to inflict hurt on one another. HAPPINESS...that's TEMPORARY...like the smell of a new car...the smell of a freshly cut rose...the two week vacation that always comes to an end...the googly eyed look and butterflies one feels with another human being.....and so forth.
Now..I STILL have butterflies......but only because there are those days in every month when I am at my horniest...........but.........it doesn't mean that when hubby touches me, those butterflies are all about him.