When all else fails.....

  1. PLUG THE &*(^%#!! THING IN!!!!!

    We spent several hours with one phone working and one not working...no incoming, no outgoing, no overhead page, nothing. Called the house supe and asked for engineering to be called in. Didn't show up. Coworker didn't know about the phone troubles and tried to use the phone. We all told her "Not working."

    She picked up one end of the cord and plugged it into the base unit.............
  2. 8 Comments

  3. by   traumaRUs
    Ugg - I hate those technologically advanced people - lol.
  4. by   donsterRN
    Which shade of red did your face get to???

    Back when push button phones were new, I once made a phone call without taking the handset off the receiver. I tried it three times before I realized it wasn't broken, but had an idiot standing over it...!

  5. by   SmilingBluEyes
    rofl , been there-----done embarassed myself this way a few times. Oh well....

    at least it was not a complicated fix.
  6. by   muffie
    when i call the computer people at work for a monitor on the fritz, they ask if i have rebooted it...

    hello ?
    what the heckle are you talking about ??????

    muffie and technology : :stone :imbar :trout: :uhoh21:
  7. by   CritterLover
    i once had biomed called in on a weekend 'cause i couldn't read the monitor in my patient's room.

    yup. took all that highly specialized training to adjust the contrast dial......
  8. by   TazziRN
    Okay, now I don't feel so bad......
  9. by   Liddle Noodnik
    Sorta like this:

    Actual Dialog of a Former Wordperfect Customer Support employee:

    Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I help you?

    Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect.

    What sort of trouble?

    Well I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.

    Went away?

    They disappeared.

    Hmmm. So what does you screen look like now?



    It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.

    Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?

    How do I tell?

    Can you se the C:\ prompt on the screen?

    What's a sea-prompt?

    Never mind. Can you move the cursor around the screen?

    There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type.

    Does your monitor have a power indicator?

    What's a monitor?

    It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a
    little light that tells you when it's on?

    I don't know.

    Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord
    goes into it. Can you see that?

    ..... Yes I think so.

    Great! Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the

    ..... Yes, it is.

    When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two
    cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?


    Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other

    ..... Okay, here it is.

    Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of
    your computer.

    I can't reach.

    Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?


    Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?

    Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle- it's because it's dark.


    Yes- the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from
    the window.

    Well, turn on the office light then.

    I can't.

    No? Why not?

    Because there's a power outage.

    A power... A power outage? Aha! Okay, we've got it, we've got it licked
    now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your
    computer came in?

    Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.

    Good! Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was
    when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.

    Really? Is it that bad?

    Yes, I'm afraid it is.

    Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?

    Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer.
  10. by   JaxiaKiley
    This is my best tech support story that I posted on my blog:

    I worked for Microsoft during the launch of Windows 98. Now, I doubt any of you had to call Microsoft for support, but if you had you would have experienced a minimum 30 minute wait over a toll line. People were paying long distance charges and they weren’t happy about it. As all those in tech support know, it doesn’t bode well for the call when the customer is pissed off before I even get a chance to say my greeting. Me: Thank you for calling Microsoft Product Support & Services. My name is Jax. May I have your name please?
    Caller [screaming]: Bob and you can take this piece of **** software and stick it up Bill’s ass.
    Me: Bob, I’m sorry you’re having problems but Bill’s unavailable at the moment. Perhaps we can find another option?
    (As intended, he laughs a little and seems to calm down. Bob is trying to install Windows 98 and this is his first computer. His daughter bought it for him so he could see pictures of his grandkids. He’s still a cranky old man, but nice in his own gruff way. We walk through a few steps and everything is progressing nicely.)
    Me: Okay, Bob, now I need you to empty your recycle bin.
    Bob: What? [starting to sound upset] Did my wife put you up to this?
    Me: No, Bob. [patiently] Your recycle bin is on your desktop. I need you to empty it so we can move on to the next step.
    Bob [grumbling]: Okay. Hold on a minute.
    (I’m confused, but I wait. I hear banging and clanging, a door slams and then he is back.)
    Bob [still grumbling]: Okay, it’s empty. I still think my wife put you up to this. She’s been nagging me all day to empty that damn thing.
    (Now I’m really confused.)
    Bob: I don’t know what in the hell taking out the trash has to do with my damn computer, but can we get on with this?
    Me: Uhm, sure. So Bob, you just took out your trash?
    Apparently, the next day was recycling day in Bob’s neighborhood. Bob had a tendency to forget to sit it out by the curb, so Bob’s oh-so-subtle wife decided to place their recycling bin on top of Bob’s desk. No wonder he thought I was in cahoots with her! Once I pointed out his computer’s recycling bin, we shared a good laugh and moved on to resolve his problem.
    But I still laugh every time I tell someone to empty their recycle bin.