What's up with kids today? (vent)

  1. I'm a religious education aide for preschool. We have seven kids in class. I don't know if I'm out of line as I have no kids but they really surprise me.

    For example, tonight we had class and a student put his fingers in the form of a gun and was pointing and making gun noises at another student. I told him we don't shoot anybody and you never, never point a gun at someone. I told him if he was in school he'd be in the principles office. He said "no I wouldn't".

    Am I expecting too much from these kids? All I ask for is no hitting, slapping, curse words and just to treat others with respect. I think they grasp the respect part because they all nodded and agreed when it was mentioned and explained. They have crawled on the table, under the table, stand on their chairs all during class! If I did that all my eyes would be seeing is the corner. Also, they think Christmas is for presents--not for Jesus' birth. I know that they are small but we have told them every class what Christmas is for and why we celebrate it. When I talk to other teachers they tell me that's the way it is. One teacher even said she had a 6th grade student slide her blouse down over her shoulder exposing her bra because she thought it was sexy! A 4th grader said some very sexual things to another 4th grade girl. Is this the way society is now? Am I over reacting? I applaud and commend parents. I'm not one, but I can imagine how hard it is to work full time, get your kids to practice and rehearsals, do homework and still find quality time to spend with you're kids. I don't know what the problem is. I don't know if it's parents, tv, video games, peers, etc. or if I'm just too mean! I don't think I am and I certainly don't want to be.

    BTW these are mostly 4yo and some 5 yo.
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  2. 62 Comments

  3. by   GPatty
    Awww Bethin....unfortunately, you do see alot of *stuff* with children these days.
    I'm more like you are, and am a very strict parent. Doesn't always work, as 2 of my older ones have "gone off the deep end" but the others know what they can and cannot do. That doesn't mean that they don't push their limits, but they know when I am losing my temper with their antics.
    I insist on such things as:
    sitting still in church, we are there to listen, not to play (Dad takes them cause I have to work every weekend!)
    They are to treat adults with respect, "Yes Maam and No Maam" or "Sir"
    and I stay inclose contact with teachers. If my daughter ever pulled a stunt like the "sliding off the shoulder to show her bra..." huh...

    Just keep doing what your doing, and pray....alot.
    Remember that the Bible suggests that generations will continue to get worse until the generation of vipers....(in some respect, aren't they here now?):uhoh21:
  4. by   LoriAlabamaRN
    I know what you mean. I was married in April to a wonderful man who has two children (6yo boy and 8yo girl) from a previous marraige. We have visitation, and I was shocked at how ungrateful they were. One day we went to Walmart before taking them to our beachhouse for the weekend and spent almost $100 on toys, games, clothes etc for them. Not ONE thank you, in fact they both stomped out to the car because there were more things they wanted that we could not afford to buy. The 8yo pitched a fit because I "only" bought her a scarf and not a matching jacket and shoes! She already has about 5 warm coats so it was NOT a necessity. After that I put my foot down. No more presents for no reason, only on holidays until they can learn to be thankful. I explained this to them and dealt with the tantrums. To me it is better to have grumpy children for a while instead of ungrateful brats who grow up to be ungrateful "the world owes me a living" adults.
  5. by   bethin
    When I was little, it was 'thank you' no matter if someone gave you coal in your stocking.

    Lori, I think you handled that trip to Wal Mart well.
  6. by   Tweety
    Am I expecting too much from these kids? All I ask for is no hitting, slapping, curse words and just to treat others with respect. I think they grasp the respect part because they all nodded and agreed when it was mentioned and explained.

    That's a very unruly age. Kids that age are hyper, have short attentions spans, they push the limits and they needs lots of attention and redirection. It's not just "kids these days", I think it's the age. (When we were kids we played war, cops and robbers).

    The important thing about what you said is that they seemed to understand when explained. This is the age where they learn how to behave, I think it's expecting too much for them to already have the knowledge. You have to teach them. Sure they need to learn a lot of this at home, but they are still in the process.

    Good luck.
  7. by   Jessy_RN
    Quote from bethin
    When I was little, it was 'thank you' no matter if someone gave you coal in your stocking.

    Lori, I think you handled that trip to Wal Mart well.
    Same here, even as an adult today. I know what you mean. My 2 younger siblings are the opposite. They expect everything and demand things. They call me with the expectation that because I basically raised them (mom was a single parent), I must cater to them.

    Seems, like a beast raised them. They have recently changed, and I suspect they acquired their "attitude" at school. Their friends are wealthy for the most part, and they are not. They need to understand and be grateful for whatever comes their way.

    One is 12 the other 17. Not tiny children. On their b-day they expect everything and for mine 2 days ago, I recieved not even a phone call, b-day wish, email or card. See what I mean?

    I am not going to be so nice anymore.
  8. by   dolphinRN
    I think it's truly a combination of things: (lack of) parental influence, peer pressure, people living in fear of having family services called if they even try to discipline their child. I'm not talking about beating the kid black and blue, just doing what needs to be done to set the proper limits and rules needed for children to grow up properly knowing right from wrong. Kids also do see what others are getting away with and try to do the same. I truly feel sorry for the kids who parents seem to think their child does no wrong and will show this by trying to push around other authority figures.

    DH usually is the one responsible for getting our 2 year old twins to and from the sitter. One week when I had to take over this due to him being out of town, I got to hear a little about a couple of kids she was watching at that time simply because school had just let out and there other planned activity didn't begin for a week. She watches their younger brother. Anyway, I guess these 2 went home and told their mother that she was having them say "please" and "thank you" when they wanted something. The mother told our sitter that she doesn't make them do this at home. Our sitter simply told her while they were at her house, it was expected. I simply can't imagine a mother not wanting her kids to learn a simple way of being polite. It seems the first words our twins have said are "thank you".

    Kids do learn what they are taught, good or bad. Yes, parenting is hard work, especially when what you believe are good values is not what the rest of society believes anymore.
  9. by   arciedee
    BF and I have already determined that our (future) children are going to think that we are mean horrible parents since we WILL expect manners and obedience. Sometimes seems we're in the minority :uhoh21:

    About the gun thing, I do think, as Tweety said, that it is partly the age. You did absolutely the right thing by explaining to the children that it wasn't appropriate. And the kid answering back was probably just testing his limits.

    As for the older children's behavior... I actually just wrote a paper for my human growth & development class about how sex is being marketed to children. It really is absolutely appalling. I remember last Christmas I eventually refused to by my seven-year-old niece any gifts of clothing because I couldn't find anything that I thought a second-grader should be wearing. Seriously, they're children, not miniature pop stars. But parents seem to be afraid to say no to their children and simultaneously refuse to talk to them about sex so who knows what the heck is going to happen. Here's an interesting (if disturbing) article I'd used in my paper:
    http://www.cbc.ca/consumers/market/f...exy/index.html
  10. by   rn in 3 years
    This reallly chaps my hyde! My kids have ALWAYS been taught to say please and thank you and I am appaled that a mother would have a problem with a babysitter enforcing that rule. If you are not going to teach your children how to be productive members of society then DON'T HAVE ANY :angryfire
  11. by   smk1
    i have a preschooler and it is in part the age. They have VERY short attention spans. (escpecially for things they deem not fun!). The gun thing is a product of seeing guns EVERYWHERE. We don't allow them (real or play) on our home and make a concerted effort to keep her from watching overt violence on tv and movies etc.., however even movies like Care bears and other disney movies have guns in them. Magic guns, laser guns, glue guns (yes we have one in the craft box). This is also the age of fascination with super heros and they fight bad guys so the kids think it is ok to play fight as long as they re "fighting bad guys". Then they go to school and learn from all of the other kids things that you don't allow (cursing, yelling) and want to make friends. There was actually a little boy and a little girl in my daughters preschool class whom were "boyfriend and girlfriend"! This is the age where they think they are so smart because they know how to do things, and understand a lot of what they see and think they can take care of themselves. The age of "i can do it MYSELF!" which is important developementally, but respect must be taught. Mine has a bit of a smart mouth. She has a very large vocabulary and just thinks she knows EVERYTHING. We have to constantly remind her about her tone of voice, and attitude when things don't go her way. The jumping on tables and chairs is something all kids would like to do, and if they see one kid doing it at school and presumably getting away with it, then they will all join in. We doing stand or jump on furniture at my house, but i have a friend who has her kid standing on the counters, jumping off couches, tables etc... it just makes me cringe, but he is a polite well behaved kid other than this. At my house though, my rules are in effect, and at her house, for Olivia at least, there is no jumping on and off furniture. I have rambled on quite a bit! I guess what i am saying is that they need discipline, structure and direction. This will help teach them how to be respectful and behave...but they will still try to get away with stuff because of their age.
  12. by   smk1
    Quote from rn in 3 years
    This reallly chaps my hyde! My kids have ALWAYS been taught to say please and thank you and I am appaled that a mother would have a problem with a babysitter enforcing that rule. If you are not going to teach your children how to be productive members of society then DON'T HAVE ANY :angryfire
    I don't understand why a mother would be upset at a babysitter actually taking the time to teach manners, rather than just putting on the latest disney movie and talking on the phone all night... Please and thankyou are the basics of learning appreciation for things and learning diplomacy. Why would a mom not want that for her child? She wil be sorry, sorry sorry later!:uhoh21:
  13. by   nurse4theplanet
    I totally agree with you bethin...children are definitely willing to test their limits moreso these days and becoming sexual earlier and earlier.

    Alot of it has to do with parenting. Most homes mom and dad both work or may not live together so kiddo is at day care, babysitter, sunday school, kindergarten, mom's house, dad's house...which all have a different atomosphere and different rules/boundaries leading to lots of inconsistencies with dicipline.

    Another issue is form of punishment...some kids are not punished for bad behavoir in favor of rewarding them for good behavoir. Instead of telling them they will be in trouble for acting out in the grocery store, they are told they will get a prize if they behave, hence feeding a sense of entitlement to things which only worsens with age.

    Children that young still know how to work the system too...they know when and where they can get away with certain behavoir and although you may reprimand them for something the parents may feel differently and tell the child that his/her behavoir was acceptable.

    I do not have children and it is very hard for me to be around children. I have a good friend who has an ADD child that just drives me nuts! She is used to his hyperactivity and I am not quite as patient unfortunately. I applaud you for working with children because I could not do it. Maybe when I have some of my own, I will mellow out a bit.
  14. by   jnette
    Quote from arciedee
    BF and I have already determined that our (future) children are going to think that we are mean horrible parents since we WILL expect manners and obedience. Sometimes seems we're in the minority :uhoh21:

    As for the older children's behavior... I actually just wrote a paper for my human growth & development class about how sex is being marketed to children. It really is absolutely appalling. I remember last Christmas I eventually refused to by my seven-year-old niece any gifts of clothing because I couldn't find anything that I thought a second-grader should be wearing. Seriously, they're children, not miniature pop stars. But parents seem to be afraid to say no to their children and simultaneously refuse to talk to them about sex so who knows what the heck is going to happen.
    Couldn't agree more !!! :angryfire

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