What's a good "last minute" Valentines day present?

  1. I had ordered my wife a couple of really good nursing school study guides (Med/Surg Made Ridiculously Simple) over two weeks ago, but they still haven't arrived. She will get mad if I waste money on flowers, and although I think that I'm an excellent cook (my Emeril's double coated fried chicken is kicking), she doesn't share my sentiments. If someone DOES have an extraordinary receipt for spagetti and meatballs, gnocchi or something that might be worth a try.
    Last edit by Roland on Feb 15, '04
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  2. 30 Comments

  3. by   Shotzie
    Roland,
    If your posts reflect any part of your personality you would probably do well to make this day all about HER.
    Clean the house, do the laundry while you send her out to have a manicure or some other little thing she will like but not usually spend the time or money on.
    Tonight, plan a simple meal, something along the lines of great cheese, good bread, fresh grapes, a roasted chicken, maybe some deli salads you both like, light candles all over the room, put on some mood music and dance around your living room/den/kitchen/ or whatever. Be silly and lighthearted and fun. Drink wine or another favorite beverage and take a long time to eat.
    Then run a bubble bath for her or give her a long loving massage...you don't have to be an expert, you just have to want to do a good job.
    Whatever comes next is up to the two of you...
  4. by   ceecel.dee
    Quote from Roland
    I had ordered my wife a couple of really good nursing school study guides (Med/Surg Made Ridiculously Simple)
    You need a clue, man!

    Here's an idea: Clean the bathroom. Grocery shop for things she likes. Make her a dinner of HER choice. Open a bottle of wine. Build a fire in the fireplace. Draw her a bath, complete with scented bath salts and fill the bathroom with candle light. Now rub her feet while the tub is filling. You will be a "shoo-in" tonight!
  5. by   Roland
    I think I'll stick with our tradition of not celebrating Valentimes day. She didn't want dinner, and why break our eight year streak? Besides, if we celebrated today the next thing you know she would expect something for her Birthday!
  6. by   Shotzie
    ...giving you the benefit of doubt, Roland...and hoping your intention is wry humor.
  7. by   nekhismom
    Man, oh man, do you sound like my husband! I have NEVER gotten anything for valentine's day in my ENTIRE life. Today was no different. I sure do hope you treat your wife better on all the other 364 days of the year.
  8. by   sjoe
    Quote from Shotzie
    ...giving you the benefit of doubt, Roland...and hoping your intention is wry humor.
    Otherwise, you can expect a VERY chilly night--and many more to come. Well deserved, I might add.

    Clue phone: There is NO SUCH THING as a "last minute Valentine gift," in the eyes of most women I have known. "It is the thought that counts" really means something to them, and if the gift was obviously a last minute item, to them that means that THEY are the last thing their partners think about, rather than the first thing, as they had been hoping.

    The items suggested above by shotzie and ceecel seem like very good ideas when specifically listed in the fancy card you gave her today that promised your TIMELY execution of them--particularly since you didn't purchase her anything with the slightest whisper of romance in it.
    Last edit by sjoe on Feb 15, '04
  9. by   Roland
    As my TV hero Al Bundy once said "being kind to your wife leads to foolishness in a place meant for sleeping." Don't get me wrong we have nuptials at least three or four times a year whether we want to or not! At thirty-four I look forward to the aging process removing that "desire" altogether. You won't catch me at sixty buying Viagra. The sad part is that we aren't much different now than when we first got married and dated! Quite frankly she was pathologically attracted to me, and I was too afraid of hurting her feelings (and too weak and selfish) to do the right thing and send her away. Unfortunately, she didn't "recover" from her unhealthy feelings for me until after she was pregnant with my child. Having said that I do love her with all my heart more than anything on Earth and although we didn't get anything for one another today we did get our son several toys and his joyfulness is an immense blessing to us both! I don't believe that it is an accident that we met the day after the previous love of my life dumped me, and I prayed to God for someone who would never leave me.

    We also had a nice time having lunch with my mother in law and son today. In addition, we enjoyed a nice play together this evening (okay it WAS required for a mandatory theatre class I'm taking, but my wife liked it so much she says that she is going to take acting lessons that they offer there). She tells me often when we argue (maybe once every six months)that she will leave me when our son is grown, and I believe her. Frankly, she's too good for me, far more than I deserve, and any time with her and my son is a bonus. I have on occasion gotten her Valentine, birthday and other presents, but I've also blown many holidays (this year I did order the study guides, they just didn't arrive on time). I fully expect that if we are successful in getting her into CRNA school (and getting her to graduation) that she very well might leave me sooner rather than later, but I am equally confident that she will also look after me from time to time even if only to ensure that I don't starve to death. Heck, if she can get me to Oahu at least I can become a beach bum in paradise (at least compared to Indiana). When I start to feel sorry for myself I just keep it in perspective. She was telling me yesterday about a girl in her nursing class from Africa who was only able to attend school because her father sold his shoes and FARMING TOOLS. My wife often helps this girl who although she has studied English for many years, still sometimes struggles reading thousands of pages of nursing text (she does this even when she could benefit from doing more study for herself. In many ways my wife is like an angel ) Furthermore, I do believe that she loves me to some extent despite her protests to the contrary when we argue. My WORST day is probably better than 95% of the world's best day! I constantly find things that amaze me and rouse my curiosity.

    Right now I am sitting in my warm house listening to a fascinating Art Bell show on EVP, while my wife and child sleep safely in our bedroom. My family and my Mastiff's are healthy our car with 290K miles is running good, and we are both on course to get all A's this semester. I look forward to reading Stephen King's next Dark Tower book, and I'm going to enjoy a top of the line steak dinner at a nice steak house tommorow night courtesy of my brother in law. Heck, I even found a new laundrymat where I will be able to do our wash for seventy five cents per load (rather than the $1.25 I've been paying up until now it adds up when you do ten loads per week). I think I'm going to tell her that I will start attending her church which is Pentecostal, ending an eight year religious standoff that meant neither of us went to church at all (my mother was missionary Catholic nun, who became a teacher, and who raised me Lutherin). I've decided that it is more importent that my son and family have SOME religion even if it's not MY religion. Her church does a great deal of charity and community outreach work in poor areas, even if I don't agree with them about most anything else I can believe in THAT. This will probably make her happier than if I had given her a two carot, blue diamond. Life is not THAT bad. I feel that God looks out for my sorry aXX almost every day.
    Last edit by Roland on Feb 15, '04
  10. by   kyutnurse
    if making funny faces for my classmate is a capital crime. I am in big trouble!
    Maybe so. I was not thinking while I was at my psych rotation, when I made funny faces for my classmate. It happened for a few seconds and I stopped as soon as I got the attention from my classmate. The bad thing is, we were at the day room, and some staff saw what happened. The worst thing to say is that, I am being expelled out of nursing school for putting my thumb in my nose and wiggling it around like a child. I will also be reported for abuse for such a childish act. It's not fair and I will be facing capital punishingment for being goofy. help!!!
    kyutnurse@yahoo.com
  11. by   Roland
    Apologize, explain that you were only trying to get the attention of your classmate. If it looks like you really might get expelled, then withdraw from the program. Wait a year (perhaps taking some classes you will need to graduate anyway) and then apply to a different school. I don't think that many students realize that "goofing around" as is sometimes tempting during the Psych rotation carries with it the risk that it does. I know of probably at least TWENTY students who have told me similiar stories (about goofing around, saying Coo/Coo ect NOT getting in trouble) and honestly it didn't even occur to me how serious this could be. The sad thing is that probably 80% of your fellow classmates have done the same or similiar things not realizing the dangerous ground they were treading.
  12. by   Shotzie
    Ok, I just absolutely REFUSE to believe any husband can be so boorish and just plain weird about his relationship with his wife...but I do work at having a brighter view of the world than that I see in your posts.
    More and more, Roland, you look like someone who works to attract attention...any kind of attention.
    Please tell me you live any place other than Texas!!!
  13. by   Roland
    Shotzie, I was an only child who was REALLY spoiled so you might be onto something. However, it's a big world out there and the diversity of personality is truly beyond comprehension! Yes, I AM perhaps boorish, but is that so rare (I mean somebody must be watching all of those Nature, and Master Piece Theatre's they put on PBS, right?). No I don't live in Texas, but wouldn't mind moving there if Hawaii or Alaska is out of the question.

    By the way Shotzie, I don't dance, drink wine (okay I have one of those five gallon card board boxes of wine in the fridge, because I thought it would be healthy, but it's been there for over a year). My wife doesn't take baths, and both her and my feet are ugly (flat with bunions, I think perhaps from running cross country for many years with flat feet). We do have a few candles on the entertainment center that we light when the electricity goes out during thunder-storms. Having been to Houston and Dallas, I thought the people there were really friendly. I was really impressed with the diversity of REAL barbecue that's available. In addition, it seems that nurses earn higher than average pay (perhaps due to the extra demand placed on health care providers by the high amount of immigration from Mexico). Yes, I really DO like Texas, and could see us moving there at least for CRNA school (they have TWO schools in Houston I think).

    Here's another reason why I'm not eager to have "carnal knowledge". I DON'T want anymore kids! Like Dr. Laura says "if you don't want them, don't have them". Well, we've already had ONE unplanned pregnancy. Of course we use condoms, but they are not perfect. We don't believe in the pill (because it keeps a fertilized egg from attaching). Also, I not willing (nor can I afford) to have a vascectomy, and don't want my wife exposed to the risk (and again we can't afford) of having her tubes tied. She is not usually "regular" (and hasn't been for most of her life) so the rhythm method is not reliable. Thus, it makes more sense for us not to engage in those activities right now anyway.

    By the way most of the married people that I know (a small sample indeed) especially those with kids, exchange few or no gifts on holidays, birthdays ect. Perhaps, it's a reflection of our economic status (currently rather low) or our geographic position (traditional midwest).
    Last edit by Roland on Feb 15, '04
  14. by   SmilingBluEyes
    His hero is Al Bundy.

    says it all.

    good luck. i hope you did not freeze last night, rofl. you must be yanking chains here, no one is this clueless....right?

    and i agree, no such thing as a last minute Valentine's gift. I give a lot more thought to it than that for my husband, and he does me. Money is not the issue, spending a lot is not necessary. The thought is what counts and there is not too much in the last-minute case scenario.

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