what would you wear to go see Jeff Foxworthy

  1. I don't know anything about the guy. Someone gave me tickets.
  2. 15 Comments

  3. by   cindyln
    oh he is so funny!! I would wear casual,comfortable clothes. Bluejeans and sweater
  4. by   baseline
  5. by   MelRN13
    jeans definitely.......always wear something "plain" to comedy shows, or you will become the target of jokes. (I know from experience!!!!)
  6. by   emily_mom
    You might be a redneck if.....

    1. You buy your jewelry at the hardware store.
    2. Your only tie is made of leather, silver and turquoise.
    3. Your hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan.
    4. None of your shirts cover your stomach.
    5. You've ever worn a tube top to a wedding.
    6. You've ever stolen clothes from a scarecrow.
    7. Your favorite T-shirt is offensive in thirteen states.
    8. You consider a three-piece suit to be: a pair of overalls, a plaid flannel shirt and thermal underwear.
    9. You know of at least six different ways to bend the bill of a baseball cap.
    10. Your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.
    11. You own more cowboy boots than sneakers.
    12. Three quarters of the clothes you own have logos on them.
    13. You own at least 20 baseball caps.

    Ya might be a redneck if...
    1. Your kids fight with the dogs for their dinner.
    2. You bring your dog with you to church.
    3. Your dog passes gas and you claim it.
    4. You have no hubcaps on your car because you're using them to feed you hunting dogs.
    5. The dog catcher calls for a backup unit when he visits your house.
    6. You've ever bathed with flea and tick soap.
    7. Your 'huntin dawg' cost more than the truck you drive him around in.

    Ya' might be a redneck if...
    1. Your kid calls your sister, mom.
    2. You can yell to your mom, "Hey, Aunt Betty!"
    3. The same pair of boots have been in your family for five generations and they're only twenty years old.
    4. You cuss and refer to your wife, mother, aunt, and sister with one word.
    5. You've ever mistaken your Aunt Betty for a man.
    6. Your mother has been involved in a fist-fight at a high school sports event.
    7. Your brother-in-law is your uncle.
    8. You go to the family reunion to pick up women.
    9. You have more that two brothers named Bubba or Junior.
    10. Any of your kids were conceived in a car wash.
    11. You give your dad a gallon of Pepto-Bismol for his birthday.
    12. Momma taught you how to flip a cigarette.
    13. Your father encourages you to quit school because Larry has an opening on the lube rack.
    14. People are scared to touch your wife's bathrobe.
    15. The first words out of your mother every time you see friends are "Howdy!" "HEY!" or "How Y'all Doin'?"
    16. You were shooting pool when your kids were born.
    17. Bikers back down from your momma.
    18. Your wife's job requires her to wear an orange vest.
    19. Your mother keeps a spit cup on the ironing board.
    20. Your entire family has ever sat around waiting for a call from the governor to spare a loved one.
    21. More than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general.
    22. You have a bumper sticker that says, "My mother's an honor student" at the local junior high.
    23. You kissed your own wife at midnight at the New Year's eve party.
    24. You have heard more than four people say "Your mamma...she's naked!" before running out of a room with new heart conditions.
    25. You think doctorin' involves mamma's sewing kit and a jug.
    26. You have more pet names for your huntin' dog than for your girlfriend.
    27. Your wife howls at the moon more than your huntin' dogs.
    28. You think icing is what you do to your front steps before your mother in law comes over.
    29. Your good deed for the month was hiding your brother for a few days.
    30. You stand under the mistletoe at Christmas and wait for Granny and cousin Sue-Ellen to walk by.
    31. You've ever been involved in a custody fight over a huntin' dog.
    32. Your wife has ever said, "Get that transmission outta maw bathtub!"
    33. Your family tree does not fork.
    34. Your momma has ever stomped into the house and announced, "The feud is back on!"
    35. Your wedding was held in the delivery room.
    36. Your wife's hairdo attracts bees.
    37. You honest-to-God think women are turned on by animal noises and seductive tongue gestures.
    38. Anyone in your family has ever purchased peroxide in a gallon container.
    39. You go Christmas shopping for your mom, sister, and girlfriend, and you only need to buy one gift.
    40. Your grandfather completely executes the "pull my finger" trick at the family reunion.
    41. Your gene pool doesn't have a "deep end."
    42. Your momma has "ammo" on her Christmas list.
    43. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
    44. You can't visit relatives without getting mud on your tires.
    45. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
    See, now you've heard them all and don't even have to go to the show!

    Have fun! I love live comedy! I think the atmosphere alone makes it a great time even if the comedian is a dud. (not saying JF is a dud, just an observation I've made about comedy shows in general)

    Last edit by OBNURSEHEATHER on Feb 8, '03
  8. by   oramar
    The couple we are going with is giving the tickets to us because their other friends recently canceled. They are taking us to dinner afterwards to boot. :hatparty: We tried to say "oh no, that is to much". "They said not at all it is all prearranged and prepaid".
    Last edit by oramar on Feb 8, '03
  9. by   emily_mom
    I think he's hilarious...but then again I can relate his jokes to a lot of people in these here parts....

  10. by   cactus wren
    Originally posted by emily_mom
    I think he's hilarious...but then again I can relate his jokes to a lot of people in these here parts....


    I can also relate a lot of his redneckisms to my family....

    If you ever mowed your yard and found a truck...you might be a redneck...

    If directions to your house include...turn off the paved road...you might..

    If your richest relative buys a new house, and asks you to help take the wheels off...you might...

    JF is funny, and actually the "redneck' jokes are only a small part of his repotoire...enjoy
  11. by   Stargazer
    I would blacken a tooth or two. Add a flannel shirt worn along a belt with a buckle as big as your head, and you'll be all set.
  12. by   Mkue
    He is hilarious ! Hope you have fun !
  13. by   CountrifiedRN
    what would you wear to go see Jeff Foxworthy -

    As suggested, denim and flannel! (and maybe some cowboy boots!)

    Always loved his stand up, you'll have a great time!
  14. by   deespoohbear
    I think my all time favorite Foxworthy redneck sayings are:

    1) If you ever have been too drunk to fish.
    2) Your Mama has ever come out of the bathroom and said "Y'all take a look at this before I flush it.

    When I heard that second one, my hubby was driving the car and he was laughing so hard I thought he would wreck it.....

    Jeff also does some great stuff about raising kids and being married.

    I would definitely wear something really simple like a plain sweater or flannel shirt. And jeans.

    Tell us how the concert was....(green with envy)....