What would you do if your childs grandparent did this?

  1. A couple of weeks ago my hubbys mom was teasing my kids telling them she was a witch and that my hubby was a warlock(he is not my son's father) and this was all a joke...and they kept it up for a bit before telling them they were teasing. Well.....this weekend my son went to his grandmothers and asked her if his dad was a wizard or a warlock because he had been told his stepdad was a wizard. She called and I explained it to her....she said okay she understood so after she got off the phone with me she told him we were just kidding, but that all wizards and witches worship the devil and that Harry Potter is evil. I am furious!
    After finding out what she told him I called and told her she is not to ever speak to my son of this subject again. I told her in our family we do not have the same beliefs because we see Harry Potter as the imaginary thing that it is and the children love it and we all watch it and read it. She countered by saying well I did not start the discussion with him he started it with me(who the hell is 50 and who is 7??? geez) I just said whatever...you are not to discuss this with him again so she told me that I had to tell my 7 year old that he is not allowed to bring up this subect to her and as long as he doesn't bring it up she won't discuss it. By this time I was spitting mad and just stated again......do not discuss this with my child again Thank you and hung up. Of course she called back, but I was too mad to answer and got told that I better not ever hang up on her again....that she is entitled to her opinions and can discuss them with her grandson if she wants.
    My first thought was not to let him go over there anymore, but that is not fair to him......I have decided to limit the amount of time he does spend over there though.....what do you guys think???
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  2. 29 Comments

  3. by   shygirl
    I know alot of people who think Harry Potter is evil! My goodness, he's a character folks! I would ask my husband to talk to his mother.

    Shygirl
  4. by   Robin61970
    Sorry shygirl did not make that clear....this is my exhusbands mother that did this and the ex is in prison......
  5. by   OBNURSEHEATHER
    Hmmmm.... sticky situation Robin. I'd simply explain what your stance is and that if she can't comply she won't see him.

    Have a similar situation w/ my MIL. Does things that I feel aren't appropriate. I've made it clear that I don't think they're appropriate, and yet she continues to carry on....

    So, now she very rarely gets unsupervised time with him. In fact, I'd bet it's been a year or two since she's been alone with him.

    Bottom line, it's your kid. She's had her chance to raise children, and needs to give up trying with yours!

    Good luck!

    Heather
  6. by   Rustyhammer
    Harry Potter evil?
    My kids read through those books (twice even).
    I read them too.
    I didn't see him do any evil.
    -Russell
  7. by   Rustyhammer
    But to answer your question I would let her know that she is to keep her belief system to herself and not to impose it upon your kids.
    -Russell
  8. by   Robin61970
    Agree Rusty.........I'm having issue with this....last year when the first one came out we took the kids out of school at 11:30 and took them to the very first showing. We will probably do it again this year. They only have a few memories that they remember from childhood and we figure a few hours of hookie are worth those memories.........
  9. by   Rustyhammer
    We went for thanksgiving. All the cousins and my brothers and sisters (27 of us total) to see the movie. All except my sister and her kids for it was against her religion.
    Her kids are now 15 and 16 and are in and out of trouble with the law. Hmmm....maybe they should do more family things like going to the movies together. This could be a whole other thread.
    -Russell
  10. by   Robin61970
    LOL.......good one Rusty........
  11. by   nurs4kids
    I've had this same problem with my hubby's grandmother, aunt and father (basically, the in-laws) except my problem was that they were trying to impose their racism on my kids...

    First thing I did was threaten to not let them see my kids..this worked with all but my ignorant FIL who lacks the common sense not to say the "n" word every other sentence..

    so, sadly enough, I had to introduce the word "ignorant" to my 3 yr old and explain it's meaning. I went a bit further and explained how some people are unhappy and wish to spread their sadness to other's. I told her the "n" word is only said by those type people. Next time she heard FIL say it, she said to him, "pa butch..I wish you weren't ignorant..maybe you wouldn't be so unhappy". I about died...hubby laughed. I'm not sure she completely understood what I was telling her, but one day it'll all make sense..i hope.

    Recently, she made the statement to me that , "one day God will come get ALL of us and take us to heaven, Mommie..but he won't come until I'm real big..will he?". I was a bit confused..I had a 16yo niece killed in a car wreck last year and thought this may have been the reason for the comment, but I thought it odd this sentence just come up out of the blue. I asked her where she heard that and she told me hubby's aunt told her all about Jesus and the devil. Over the course of a week, my 3yr old brought this topic up several times. I could tell she was worried. I asked aunt about it..she said, "I was just teaching her about Revelations!!!". Infuriated me. Aunt is a religious finatic (yeah the same one that's a racist)..I'm a Christian, but I'm big on protecting my kid's innocence and I think religion is confusing enough for adults w/o a 3 yr old having to worry over it. As politely and tactfully as I could, I told her I did not appreciate her pushing her religious beliefs on my child and confusing her. I went on to explain that a child lacks the ability to differentiate "someday" from "tomorrow"..and to a toddler, the thought of some man she's never seen coming to take her from her mommy is terrifying..even if it is God. The conversation didn't go well, so I ended up telling her that she is NOT to discuss religion with my kids, period. As far as I know, she hasn't since.

    I don't understand adults who wish to steal a child's innocense..to introduce evil. I think it's an unconscious jealousy that the child has a happiness that an adult can't ever get back. I would never prevent my kids from seeing those they love, but I did threaten it to the adults..and I made them think I meant it. It worked for me.

    Good luck!
  12. by   Robin61970
    I want to try to avoid that, but I will limit exposure if I have to do so. She already has one grandchild she is not allowed to see because of a fight with his mother(it is both their faults) so.....we shall see. Right now I am too mad to speak with her.....
  13. by   Rustyhammer
    I had to sit my MIL down and let her know in no uncertain terms that "we do NOT use the N-word in this house and you will NOT ever push your prejudiced views on my kids. Failure to comply will result in not seeing your grandkids". It worked, she hasn't said anything for a couple of years now.
    About my sister and her ultra-christian viewpoints. My kids feel sorry for that whole family. She has reached out for support and was taken in by this "church" and now can't or wont rebuke it.
    I too feel badly for her.
    We can cry for them but we can't live our lives for them.
    -Russell
  14. by   OBNURSEHEATHER
    Originally posted by nurs4kids
    I don't understand adults who wish to steal a child's innocense..to introduce evil. I think it's an unconscious jealousy that the child has a happiness that an adult can't ever get back.
    That is sooooooo deep Tracy. Seriously and truly! I think you missed your calling in psychoanalysis!

    Heather

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