What Works 4 U??

  1. Hey? Its the time of season... I see lovers hand in hand. Spouses bying spouses christmas gifts etc. Makes me wonder....YOU guys who have a working, long lasting love , in your relationship, WHAT has made IT work?...Is it tolerance, is it demanding certain behaviors and respects? Is it , is there real companionship?..Is it that one has to be perfect physically, mentally,and financially to have a relationship??? Is it love?? lust?? convenience? I just was wondering...So what does work ???
  2. 22 Comments

  3. by   Tweety
    Pure love. (But as the song goes, sometimes love just ain't enough"). Commucation. Mutual respect and above all honesty. There's a bond between us that is very hard to describe.

    Commitment is important. To stay and work and talk things out.
  4. by   sunnygirl272
    from a female POV....
    HMm....i think lust and infatuation are when you love the cute way he snores..the way he forgets to hang his towels up...the way he gets sooo involved in the game on tv that he can't hear you....love is when you love him in spite of those things...

    Perfection in relationships is a myth..searching for it will only lead to heartache...need to look instead for someone who has idiosyncrasies that you can deal with for the long haul....

    a good relationship should have love, lust , trust, companionship, humor, tolerance, stability, maturity, commitment, mutual respect and admiration, flexibility(take that however youwant, winkwink)...this is a 2way street...
    anyway....i may post more after i ponder....
    took a "sanity day" form work today(shhh...don't tell) so i will have plenty of time to ponder....
  5. by   lisamct
    Communication,love, respect and definetly honesty.
    Before I finally got it together with my partner I dated and eventually lived with his best friend, 9 years in total, so we knew each other for a long time. Throughout most of the time that I was with the first guy I really wanted to be with Alan, my now partner, but couldnt build up the courage to tell either of them the truth.(yes I know im a horrible person!!)
    I finally got together with Alan after splitting up with the other guy and found out that he'd felt the same way all along. We vowed then that we would always be totally honest with each other and Im confident that we have been. If we'd been honest all along we'd have got together a lot sooner.
    Oh and by the way, all 3 of us are know really good friends again, yes its a bit of a Jerry Springer situation but it works for us.
  6. by   deespoohbear
    Total commitment. I take my marriage vows very seriously and so does my husband. We will celebrate our 14th wedding anniversary in January, and no it hasn't been easy. But worth it!! I put my husband and family before my job or anything else. He is my best friend. Anything worth having is worth fighting for in my opinion...Of course my husband is great. He treats me well, is an excellent father, and a kind and thoughtful husband. I realize that not everyone is so lucky...We make sure that we get time together, both as a couple and as a family. Plus like another poster said it is putting up with the little "habits" that can be irritating-leaving the cap off the toothpaste, putting the toilet paper on the wrong way, leaving your shoes in the middle of the floor...some stuff you just have to let go....

    I hope one day you find what you are seeking....
  7. by   Q.
    Love and communication.
  8. by   Mattigan
    So far,not much of anything.
  9. by   Rustyhammer
    I think the key factor is plain old compatability. If you do not at least get along then love will never follow.
    The other thing is to be able to accept the inevitable changes that will occur. Your partner will change over time (or at least you HOPE they will) and you have to show flexability.
    Just my point of view.
  10. by   LasVegasRN
    Love, compatibility, and mutual respect.

    I've learned that without ALL THREE of these, it doesn't work.
  11. by   emily_mom
    Shoot, maybe I should go back and put this on my resolutions....just kidding! I second all those above me....

  12. by   CountrifiedRN
    I think everyone looks for what they need in a relationship based on their values and previous experiences. I know after my divorce, there were certain things that I knew I could never compromise on in a relationship again.

    The most important things to me are trust, respect, the ability to have fun together and apart, and no back hair.
  13. by   CATHYW
    Love, lust, respect, compatibility, shared values, and loving to see that little smile just for you across the room!

    BTW-if you feel you are being taken for granted, setting limits is sometimes necessary-
  14. by   tattooednursie
    Nothing works for me. I have a plan though. I'm going to be a bachlorett for the rest of my life, comitted to no one.