What we say- What we mean

  1. I was reading an article about truth in advertising. With our customer orientated healthcare climate I was thinking about what we would call things and describe treatments if we were being very truthful. Heres a couple of things I thought of.

    Golytely - Explosive diarrhea

    You may feels some discomfort - Hold onto your sheets-this is gonna hurt

    The doctor will see you shortly - Grab a magazine-your gonna be here awhile

    Depend briefs - Big diapers

    Healthshake-The little carton of flavored liquid that you will not drink after you have tasted it

    Your veins roll - Veins, what veins! I thought I saw one, where did it go?

    Incentive spirometer - A big straw you breath through

    Any others?
  2. 4 Comments

  3. by   tattooednursie
    I am only trying to help you, you don't need to talk to me like that - Shut up before I get that big hammer.

    Urine - You're out

    Defication - Realeasing the chocolate hostage. (sorry whoever I stole that idea from)

    Rectum - Booty trumpet

    Flatuance - Blowing the booty trumpet, or floating airbiscuts.

    Vomitus- Spew, upchuck, barf, puke.

    Penis - Always reffered to as thing, or wiggle worm.

    Breast- (in LTC) a spotted pancake

    Feces - Code brown.

    Okay that was the nice version LOL
    Last edit by tattooednursie on Aug 1, '03
  4. by   iliel
    Hammercaine--the type of anesthesia i would like to give to rather difficult dental pts.
  5. by   Rapheal

    I didn't think about it when I posted this thread but I could see how responding to it might prompt some flaming because it is dark humor. But your and iliel posts are hilarious.
  6. by   tattooednursie
    Hmm, I didn't think of that either. Probably because I would never put a pillow over some ones face to keep them from yelling, or anything like that. Maybe I should put something different in there. That is kind of dark humor, and I love my patients.