Funeral plans are usually developed with the families input. Some are dark and somber, some are joyful celebrations of a persons life. As with nursing, you get out of it what you put into it. Historically, sad somber music was used out of respect to a persons life as considered a solumen occassion that one did not want to "dissrespect" a person, hence all black clothes for the widow for a year in days gone by and periods of mouring. Many persons however, don"t want to think about death and avoid funeral planning at all costs; often their ceremony is based on tradition.
Coming from a large extended family, having worked hospice and home care, I've must have been to about 50 funerals. They have certainly evolved over the years. Each exposure to funerals, usually leaves one with an impression. I've seen my families funerals go from 3 days of wake to just viewing night before then burial next day with gathering afterwards.
My husband got quite a jolt when his cousins had 40's swing music played softly at the funeral home along with pictures of Aunt Kate through out her life. She exuded life in person and that's how they wanted to celebrate her life and death, remembering all the good times.
My maternal grandmother "invited" her nurse (my friend) to her funeral a year before she died. She left verbal instructions what songs she wanted played at church along with monies for a lunch with instructions not to serve hot dogs.
Picked out her rosewood casket. It was a very uplifting celebration of her life.
My parents were out of state on vaction when paternal grandfather died in winter, and traveling between locations in days before cellphones. Founding member of local fire company, they carried Pop-Pop's casket on the firetruck. I took pictures of this along with family at gravesight and at gathering to help ease his and grandmothers grieving. Some found that too morbid. However, my grandmother found them priceless and told me they helped her grieve knowing her oldest child not available for burial.
Now is the time to jot down your thoughts, songs, what your desires are to helps your family planning. It will certainly help ease their grief knowing they could follow your final wishes.