From: General Hawley
Subject: How About This Viewpoint!
Since the attack, I have seen, heard, and read thoughts of such surpassing
stupidity that they must be addressed. You've heard them too. Here they
1) "We're not good, they're not evil, everything is relative." Listen
carefully: We're good, they're evil, nothing is relative. Say it with me
now and free yourselves. You see, folks, saying "We're good" doesn't mean
"We're perfect." Okay? The only perfect being is the bearded guy on the
ceiling of the Sistine Chapel. The plain fact is that our country has, with
all our mistakes and blunders, always been and always will be, the greatest
beacon of freedom, charity, opportunity, and affection in history. If you
need proof, open all the borders on Earth and see what happens. In about
half a day, the entire world would be a ghost town, and the United States
would look like one giant line to see "The Producers."
2) "Violence only leads to more violence." This one is so stupid you
usually have to be the president of an Ivy League university to say it.
Here's the truth, which you know in your heads and hearts already:
Ineffective, unfocused violence leads to more violence. Limp, panicky,
half-measures lead to more violence. However, complete,
fully-thought-through, professional, well-executed violence never leads to
more violence because, you see, afterwards, the other guys are all dead.
That's right, dead. Not "on trial," not "reeducated," not "nurtured back
into the bosom of love." Dead. D-E-Well, you get the idea.
3) "The CIA and the rest of our intelligence community has failed us." For
25 years we have chained our spies like dogs to a stake in the ground, and
now that the house has been robbed, we yell at them for not protecting us.
Starting in the late seventies, under Carter appointee Stansfield Turner,
the giant brains who get these giant ideas decided that the best way to
gather international intelligence was to use spy satellites. "After all,"
they reasoned, "you can see a license plate from 200 miles away." This is
very helpful if you've been attacked by a license plate. Unfortunately, we
were attacked by humans. Finding humans is not possible with satellites.
You have to use other humans. When we bought all our satellites, we fired
all our humans, and here's the really stupid part. It takes years, decades
to infiltrate new humans into the worst places of the world. You can't just
have a guy who looks like Gary Busey in a S! pring Break '93 sweatshirt plop
himself down in a coffee shop in Kabul and say "Hiya, boys. Gee, I sure
would like to meet that bin Laden fella." Well, you can, but all you'd be
doing is giving the bad guys a story they'd be telling for years.
4) "These people are poor and helpless, and that's why they're angry at us."
Uh-huh, and Jeffrey Dahmer's frozen head collection was just a desperate cry
for help. The terrorists and their backers are richer than Elton John and,
ironically, a good deal less annoying. The poor helpless people, you see,
are the villagers they tortured and murdered to stay in power. Mohamed
Atta, one of the evil scumbags who steered those planes into the killing
grounds (I'm sorry, one of the "alleged hijackers," according to CNN - they
stopped using the word "terrorist," you know), is the son of a Cairo
surgeon. But you knew this, too. In the sixties and seventies, all the
pinheads marching against the war were upper-middle-class college kids who
grabbed any cause they could think of to get out of their final papers and
spend more time drinking. At least, that was my excuse. It's the same
today. Take the Anti-Global-Warming (or is it World ! Trade? Oh who knows
what the hell they want). They all charged their black outfits and plane
tickets on dad's credit card before driving to the airport in their SUV's.
5) "Any profiling is racial profiling." Who's killing us here, the
Norwegians? Just days after the attack, the New York Times had an article
saying dozens of extended members of the gazillionaire bin Laden family
living in America were afraid of reprisals and left in a huff, never to
return to studying at Harvard and using too much Drakkar. I'm crushed. I
think we're all crushed. Please come back. With a cherry on top? Why
don't they just change their names, anyway? It's happened in the past.
Think about it. How many Adolfs do you run into these days? Shortly after
that, I remember watching TV with my jaw on the floor as a government
official actually said, "That little old grandmother from Sioux City could
be carrying something." Okay, how about this: No, she couldn't. It would
never be the grandmother from Sioux City. Is it even possible? What are
the odds? Winning a hundred Pow! erball lotteries in a row? A thousand? A
million? And now a Secret Service guy has been tossed off a plane and we're
all supposed to cry about it because he's an Arab? Didn't it have the
tiniest bit to do with the fact that he filled out his forms
incorrectly---three times? And then left an Arab history book on his seat
as he strolled off the plane? And came back? Armed? Let's please all stop
singing "We Are the World" for a minute and think practically. I don't want
to be sitting on the floor in the back of a plane four seconds away from
hitting Mt. Rushmore and turn, grinning, to the guy next to me to say,
"Well, at least we didn't offend them."
SO HERE'S what I resolve for the new year:
Never to forget our murdered brothers and sisters.
Never to let the relativists get away with their immoral thinking.
After all, no matter what your daughter's political science professor says,
we didn't start this.
Have you seen that bumper sticker that says, "No More Hiroshimas"? I wish I
had one that says, "You First. No More Pearl Harbors."