Well, there you go.....

  1. Thanks everyone who replied to my previous thread about my a-hole husband who was having an affair.

    Just an update......while I was stressing about what to do, he made up my mind for me!!

    This morning, after disappearing for q48h when we'd had a fight, he finally turned on his mobile and came home. Informed me that he had been seeing a woman he used to work with (but doesn't any longer, because he changed jobs) for the past 4 months, that he loved her more than me, and that he was moving in with her.

    Talk about a jolt!! She is 42 years old (he is 39), has 2 adult children, and his words were, "she is just so nice" - what, as opposed to me, the psycho ****** from hell??!!

    Anyway, q4h later he brought her over. Can you believe that??? They have taken the boys (9 & 11) to the Gold Coast to do the theme park thing, and I am sitting here all alone. She is NOT nice, I HATE her right now, but in another life I may have become her friend. All my friends are out, and here is me, a newly diagnosed single mum, nursing a glass of wine (because that is all I have in the house).

    She is, how can I put this nicely, a DOORMAT!! She just sits there and nods, and agrees with everything he says. Maybe that's the attraction, where I used to disagree with him occasionally, she doesn't. I'm going to phone a guy he used to work with (who still works with her) on Monday - that's the other thing, it's the *******' weekend, so I can't do anything about tying up loose knots because NOTHING'S OPEN!!!

    The scary part is, though, that if he were to walk thru the door right now and say "I'm sorry, I made a big mistake and I want you back", my initial reaction would be to go "Oh, OK then". Don't panic, I know it's just a phase, and we would be at each other's throats within a week, but it's a worry just the same.

    Please excuse my ranting, my balanced diet over the past 2 days has consisted of: caffeine=57, nicotine=I've lost count, and I have had a total of q4h sleep over the past 2 nights. PLEASE don't lecture me about my diet, and taking care of myself, and for goodness sake don't ask me how I am. Enough people have done that today for my standard answer now to be:"really crap, actually, now that I have realised I have just wasted the last 12 years of my life!!"

    Oh, and to top it all off, my sister has just told me that the PAP smear she had last week was abnormal, so they have to do a biopsy. WHO UP THERE HATES ME????
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  2. 31 Comments

  3. by   adrienurse
    [[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[oznurse]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]
    Hang in there, sweetheart.
  4. by   karenG
    ok you dont want sympathy- I can understand that. in sort of the same situation except its me that wants to leave and there is no-one else involved!

    so how about counting blessings? you have 2 children who love you and if you are like me, you love them to bits as well. you have somewhere to live, people who love you and friends who are there for you when you need them. least thats what I decided. what do you want to do? I am learning to fence and want to learn to paraglide! life is possible but its taken me a while to get there!!

    so have a glass of wine- I'll raise one to you later and think about what you want.

    and if you want to moan - go ahead. I'll listen

    Karen
  5. by   Sleepyeyes
    (((((((((oznurse))))))))) we're here for ya honey, rant on....do whatcha gotta do....

    we care
  6. by   aimeee
    Wow. That's the pits, Oznurse. Vent all you need! (((((((OzNurse)))))))
  7. by   sunnygirl272
    that is terrible.....
    hang in there and know that we are here for you....
  8. by   nakitamoon
    ((((oznurse)))) life is too short,,, finish your wine,,, do what you need to this weekend & start new Monday~

    Married to satan for 10 horrible years,,, have celebrated my freedom everyday for the last 13,,, since I got rid of him,,,

    Don't,,,, take him back,,, Allow him,,,,make him be a father to your children,,, but they will be happier when you are,,,

    just my thoughts,,,, here if you need to vent,,,, ~kitamoon
  9. by   rncountry
    Oznurse, so sorry. Been there, done that. Divorced him 1993, felt like the weight of the world came off my shoulders. But the divorce was nasty, lived on soda and cigerettes for months. Got tested for STD's, not pleasant to have to worry about that.
    Upside, my children became much happier, especially my daughter, it was like watching a flower bloom. I was able to remember who the hell I really was and quit trying to do everything in the world to try to make someone else happy while losing myself and personality to it.
    Remarried an old high school sweetheart who is a wonderful husband, father and partner. A man who is happy to let me be me, and supports anything I want to do.
    But for awhile I wondered how I had managed to piss God off so badly that my life was a rollercoaster, I didn't want to hear it would get better because I couldn't see the end for a long time. But it did get better. Hang in there. (((((((((oznurse))))))))))))))
  10. by   l.rae
    Samething yrs ago...l know you are feeling horrible...but for goodness sakes...close your joint accounts now!...my ex took all my money, turned off all utilities, the money in the bank was my money from my pt job...all l had for groceries ang gas...2 small children...please protect yourself......prayers going out for you.....that was long ago and life is good again....the pendulum swings..........take care.......LR
  11. by   l.rae
    just wanted to add..ex used the money for an outing for his gf and 2 kids at Kings Island.......always best to loose a looser
  12. by   SmilingBluEyes
    Let it all out....don't worry, no one here is judging you. it is therapuetic sometimes to do that. i wish you well.
  13. by   Robin61970
    Agree with Irae...protect yourself, but also know that we are all here for you. I would offer many words of wisdom, but the truth of it all is that it just plain sucks. You will get over this and be a better and stronger person and someday when he cheats on and loses this one he will realize what a treasure he lost when he lost you. ((((((HUGS))))))))
  14. by   ptnurse
    Hugs to you oznurse. Hang in there. We will always be here when you need to vent.

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