Well, for those of you who asked about my sons....

  1. In another thread I posted that today was the 7th anniversary of the adoption of our three sons. Some said they were interested in hearing more of our story, so for those of you who don't mind....

    My husband and I got married in 1989. We kind of suspected from the start that having biological children may be difficult for us due to some health issues of mine. So, after a couple of years we were referred to an infertility specialist. I had all the normal tests and such, and was dx with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. After about 12 months of trying and not being able to conceive, we decided to take a break. The emotional and financial burdens were taking a toll on me and on our marriage. So we stopped treatment for awhile. For some crazy reason, I decided to go to college and become an RN . So, I started nursing school in the fall of 1992. Going to college was a good thing for me, it really helped me focus on something else. Toward the end of my schooling, we decided to look into adoption. We sent in our application to an adoption agency and waited. After fulfilling all the paperwork obligations and the fingerprinting and stuff, we were put on a list. We told our caseworker that we were interested in an infant, but were open to other options. Didn't hear anything for the next couple of months. I graduated nursing school in Dec 1994. My husband and I bought an old farmhouse and moved in January. I sat for state boards. Got a job. Still nothing from the agency....

    Come home from work one afternoon mid February. My husband said our caseworker called and said there was a case she wanted us to hear about. The case involved three little boys who lived about 100 miles north of our place that had been in foster care for almost 2 years. They were biological brothers and had been removed from their biological parents because of extreme neglect. The state really wanted to place the three boys in a home together. The caseworker said that the boys were all healthy. They were 7, 6, and 3 at the time. Would we be interested in looking into their case? My husband told we would think about it. She sent us a typed description of each child (hair color, eye color, personality type, etc.). My husband and I talked and prayed, and prayed some more. We didn't tell our parents yet in case something fell through. Told our closest friends at church and that was it. After a few days, we called our caseworker and told her yes, we would take them. She had the caseworker from their county call us. We talked to her for awhile. She said it would probably take a few days to get the paperwork lined up and then we could arrange to get the boys. Couple days later the social worker called and asked we could take the older 2 boys the NEXT day because their foster parents were going on vacation for 2 weeks and didn't want to take the boys. We were kind of hesitant because we didn't have anything lined up for them that soon, but we told her yes we would. I quickly called my SIL and told her to come out here quick. We still had stuff packed in boxes from our recent move and it was in the room we were planning on the boys having. Then I called my parents who live 300 miles away and told my Dad. He actually dropped the phone!! My SIL and I got the room ready the best we could on such short notice. (It was a horrible baby poop yellow color and we didn't have time to paint it at that point). My husband and I collapse into bed that night.

    The next day we head out on the drive to get the older two boys. (I should explain that the 2 older boys were in a different foster home than the youngest boy at that point, due to health issues the 1st foster mother had at that point). We drive about 2 hours and meet the social worker at her office. She takes us where the 2 older boys were playing a game. They were so cute. The 7 year old was kind of timid and the 6 year old had bright red hair. They offered us a piece of gum. We helped them put the toys away and we went and got their stuff. It was all packed in brown paper bags. Everything they owned was in 4 or 5 sacks. We put in our trunk. The boys hopped in the car with us and away we went. They never cried or anything. We stopped at a McDonald's for lunch. My husband went to order us some food while I sat at the table with the boys. We were going to be a pre-adoptive home until the biological parents rights were terminated, then we could proceed with the adoption. I asked the boys how they wanted to refer to me and my husband and the 7 year old just said "I always call my foster parents Mommy and Daddy." My heart broke in two.

    Got them home and took them over to meet my in-laws. (We had let them in on the secret by this point). The boys walked in like the owned the place. It was a hoot. Got them to our house (we only live a mile away from my in-laws). They were so funny. Interested in everything in our home. Some of my husband's siblings came over and brought gifts for the boys. The first few nights were actually pretty uneventful. This was a Thursday. We took them to church the first Sunday we had them, where EVERYBODY was fit to be tied. The following Tuesday the 3 year old came to our home and our family was on its way.

    We spent the next couple of months just getting to know the boys and trying to settle them into some kind of routine. They were super little guys, but got into everything. The first month we had them we had a scare. We had tried to childproof our home the best we could on such short notice, but after being by ourselves for 6 years it was tough to try and think of everything that needed to be done. My husband had left a bottle of Q-Vel (at that time an OTC drug for leg cramps) on the table next to our bed. The medicine bottle had gotten pushed far back behind a shelf and we didn't see it. One day while I was at work, my husband called me and said he was taking the boys into the ER because they had apparently gotten into the Q-Vel and he wasn't sure how many they had taken. Poison control center had advised him to take them to the ER. So I met him at the ER. Couldn't figure out how much each kid took, so they all got activated charcoal. Poison control said they needed to be admitted for observation, so overnight we stayed. It was a freakin' zoo!! Everyone was okay, but I definitely didn't want to repeat that experience again.

    Well after a very long summer of waiting for the state to be able to terminate the biological parents rights (and a few scares along the way including court order visitation with their biological father) the rights were finally terminated at the end of November. Our attorney got us a court date for Dec 8 for the adoption. We went to court and the whole process took about 5 minutes. (Took us longer to get ready!!). Grandma and Grandpa took us out to eat at McDonald's (with a Playland, of course) and we had a great time. Then the real adventure began....

    Everyone was so generous in donating and giving stuff to us. A couple from our church gave us set of bunk beds that had belonged to their boys at one time, and another couple gave us a dresser. Our families bought toys for the children and my co-workers hosted a "Toy Shower" for us. Our family and our church family were such a tremendous support that it was overwhelming. My parents were up here like in two weeks to meet their new grandsons. Our families were just super about accepting the boys right off the bat and so were all of their new cousins!! (And they got A LOT of new cousins!!) There were times where it got a little rocky and I didn't know if I would survive but we did. Sometimes I look back and wonder, what on earth were we thinking when we decided to take 3 children that we never even met into our homes and decide to parent them. But I would do it all over again...in a heartbeat....

    Hope this didn't drag on too long or bore anyone to tears. I tried to condense it the best I could....

    If anyone ever wants to discuss adoption or anything pertaining to adoption or infertility feel free to PM me. As you can tell, I like to discuss our story with people.....Thanks.
    Last edit by deespoohbear on Dec 9, '02
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    About deespoohbear

    Joined: Aug '01; Posts: 2,276; Likes: 42


  3. by   aus nurse
    Deespoohbear, that is the most heartwarming story. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry, but ended up smiling
    You ALL truly sound blessed to have each other in your lives.

    Thankyou for sharing:kiss Happy anniversary
  4. by   adrienurse
    What a wonderful story! I might adopt some day -- I love to hear stories about happy families.
  5. by   anitame

  6. by   Tweety
    I got a little teary eyed, but it wasn't from boredom.

    What a great story! Thanks for sharing.
  7. by   deespoohbear
    Originally posted by 3rdShiftGuy
    I got a little teary eyed, but it wasn't from boredom.

    Aw, thanks.....:imbar :imbar :imbar
  8. by   Rena RN 2003
    wonderful story.

    something very similar happend to my boy's babysitter. her husband went to work childless and came home the father of 3. :chuckle

    i'm glad the boys have a nice stable home now.
  9. by   Sleepyeyes
    Dee, what a great, heartwarming Christmas story!!

    Merry Christmas all you Deespoohbear-folks!

  10. by   ayemmeff
    What a lovely,lovely story!!
  11. by   bagladyrn
    Deespoohbear - what a wonderful story! You, your husband and your boys are all so lucky to have found each other!
  12. by   renerian
    What a heartwarming story.

  13. by   emily_mom
    What a wonderful story!! You all are so lucky to have found each other! I hope they keep keeping you on your toes!!!

  14. by   nakitamoon
    pooh,,,, what a wonderful story,,,, almost the same as my aunt's and uncle's,,, childless for years,,, applied for adoption,,,, went to court to pick up 3 year old little girl,,,, judge asked,,, do you want her brothers,,,,, they came home that december,,, 22 years ago,,, with a 3 yr old little girl,,,, and two boys,,,, one almost 2 years,, and one,,,, 6 months,,,,,,,,

    we are close family,,,, we welcomed my 'new cousins' with open arms,,,, now my aunt and uncle are grandparents,,,, there were some rough times,,,, but all made it through just fine,,,

    you and you family are wonderful,,,, loving ppl,,,,, your sons were blessed as you and your hubby were!

    happy holidays ~kitamoon