Welcome to Phone Message Heaven! Record the greeting you'd love to put on your phone!

  1. Mine would have to be:

    Hi you've reached 555-1234. If you are my job, the answer is no, I'm not working extra this week. Not even for a couple of "pretty pleases" and a $10 gift card. No. No. No. Good-bye.
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  2. 13 Comments

  3. by   CHATSDALE
    you don't know how vauable that would have been for spineless me
  4. by   donsterRN
    My dream phone message, hmmm?

    "Ain't nobody here. Who are you and what do you want?"

    Just kidding! Maybe.
  5. by   compassion1
    Hi. This is Marilyn. I have been raptured and have left this planet. If you would like to reach me...dial ASK-GOD* and leave a message. He'll be sure to get back to you.
  6. by   TazziRN
    When I moved into my first apartment I was given the phone number of someone who was being sought by credit bureaus. I got so tired of those calls that I finally changed my message to "If you are looking for Mr. Deatbeat Scumbag, he no longer has this phone number. I have no idea who he is or where he is. If, however, you are looking for (my name), I am not able to come to the phone right now. The only ones here are the cats and they do not speak People. Please leave a message and the felines will see that I get it."
  7. by   SouthernLPN2RN
    I once put a recorded Roy D Mercer message on my voice mail. Shocked the church lady who called the next day, lol!
  8. by   anonymurse
    My favorites:

    "If you're a salesman, leave your phone number and the time you eat dinner and we'll get back to you."

    "This is voicemail. This is the 21st century. You know what to do."

    "Talk."
  9. by   elizabells
    "Hi, this is Elizabeth. No, I am not interested in coming in for overtime. No, I will not switch a shift with you. Grandma, I'll call you back at a time when I'm not supposed to be sleeping. Byeee!"
  10. by   Joe NightingMale
    Back in grad school I once had the following Jeff Foxworthy joke on my answering machine:

    "If you've been on television more than 5 times describing what the tornado sounded like, you might be a redneck" You'll understand it better if you've watched a lot of Discovery Channel programs about tornadoes.
  11. by   Ruby Vee
    Quote from angie o'plasty, rn
    mine would have to be:

    hi you've reached 555-1234. if you are my job, the answer is no, i'm not working extra this week. not even for a couple of "pretty pleases" and a $10 gift card. no. no. no. good-bye.
    my husband actually put this one on our answering machine for awhile:

    "you've reached 555-1234. we're screening our calls. if you are calling us to work extra or switch shifts, the answer is "no." if you are a telephone salesperson, asking for a donation or offering us a "great deal," the answer is "hell no." if you are family and friends, you have our cell phone numbers. anyone else, please leave a message and we'll think about getting back to you. have a nice day."
  12. by   bethin
    "Leave me the hell alone."

    Usually I want to say that during the day as I'm trying to get sleep in prep for night shift.
  13. by   zuzi
    "Hi you've reached 555-1234! Zuzi here! If you are one of my friends come directly the key is on the office, if you are not one of my friends press 2 to redirect you from conselling service, for bad people press 0 and you will be redirected to an special attendant....just for you"
  14. by   mercyteapot
    Quote from SouthernLPN2RN
    I once put a recorded Roy D Mercer message on my voice mail. Shocked the church lady who called the next day, lol!
    Well, by God!!!!

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