Way OT, but

  1. Hey guys, this is way OT, but I figured since it is the break room it would be a good place to ask.

    Short story...MIL calls tonight, says she wants to talk to hubby about putting him on her accounts so he can write checks if she cant. I said, well, he is your POA, I dont think its necessary to put him on the accounts. SHe says she would put me on then. I said I want my name on no other accounts but ours. (MIL has a history, put the SIL on her accounts, then made a math mistake and accused SIL of taking $$ out of the account...big ordeal, SIL and MIL are still not speaking a year later). She said the bank told her she had to have someone on the account, not just a POA and this has to be set up through an attorney.

    *SIGH* First off, does anyone know if a POA can step in and handle financial affairs and bank accounts in the event the person is incapacitated? I thought this was one of the duties of POA?

    I have not talked to hubby yet, he is at work. I would prefer neither of our names be on her account, solely out of her history, but I cannot speak for hubby. I believe he will feel the same, but gotta talk to him to know for sure.

    Thanks for any advice, I think Monday I will be on the phone with the attorney, but since its Sunday night and I am venting, I thought someone might know??

    Thanks!
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  2. 5 Comments

  3. by   NurseyBaby'05
    Lori-
    I used to be a branch operations supervisor in a former life. POA can write checks on the account. Dh may have to go with mil to the bank to fill out their paper work to have alongside what she has for her general POA. The only downside to having a POA instead of as a joint owner of an account is that POA is only good while the accountowner is alive. If mil should pass and bills need to be paid or if upfront funeral expenses need paid, mil's family (including your dh) could wind up in a jam. I was POA on my mom's checking account before she died and we ran into a problem with the cemetery. It was five or six hundred dollars up front to open the grave. Onthe other hand, if dh is a joint owner on mil's account and should pass away, your mil would have to pay inheritance tax on half of her own money.
  4. by   NurseyBaby'05
    I would also advise you and dh to be careful re: accusations. She could still accuse dh. As POA, he's legally responsible for the ins and outs of her accounts. He has to account for everything. That conversation with mom was interesting mixed with her brain mets. She called me one day to demand her ATM card back so she could send people to the store (because she was very hungry and very cold), but then she forgot sending them. I nipped that one in the bud quickly. There would have been too many people in and out of her accounts for me to keep track. Nobody would have intentionally taken her money, but I can't keep track of nine kids plus spouses and her. Things would have slipped through the cracks. Needless to say, I wound up being the shopper. Just some things to think about.
  5. by   WickedRedRN
    Thanks NuseyBaby! I was thinking she did not need to specifically have him on the account.

    I just got off the phone with hubby and he said he does not want to be listed on her account if there is any way around it. We have already dealt with the accusations issue when she had his sister on the account. They were unfounded, but caused a huge uproar in any case.

    His POA is set up so he steps in only when she becomes incapacitated, which as of today, she is not. She just recently (at 79) began handling a checkbook and bank accounts after her husband passed. Sad, but he did everything and she had no idea how to even fill out a deposit slip! Husband helps her, but as far as accounts they are all in her name. For some reason, she decided she needs to have someone else on there "just in case"

    I think she needs a hobby instead of sitting around and finding things to worry about!
  6. by   NurseyBaby'05
    All of her old lady friends are probably buzzing in her ear. I would tell her about the risk of her paying inheritance tax on her own money. That used to stop a lot of the old people in their tracks when I worked at the bank. The other thing that happened once or twice was that the child came in and closed the account and opened one in his/her own name only. We had to let the child do it because he was technically an owner of the account. The poor parent didn't have a leg to stand on when he didn't give the money back. I would not suggest telling the latter scanario to dmil since she seems a little paranoid anyway. The first scenario usually made the elderly and financially scrupulous person see the light.
  7. by   Katnip
    Make sure the POA is the right kind. My husband has been POA and trust manager for multiple family members. Double check with a lawyer to make sure he has POA for medical and financial responsibility.

    Inheritance taxes depend on the state where your mother lives and pays taxes.

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