Vegas' Dog SPEAKS!!!

  1. Yeah, hey, it's me, Apollo. I snuck up here while she's downstair's putting up that blasted no-smell tree. I have yet to understand why she puts a tree with absolutely no smell in the house. Same time every year. Then I have to endure listening to the Stones and Van Halen at full blast while she's put that thing up. Why Mick Jagger and David Lee Roth inspires her to work so diligently I have no idea.

    Oh! And you other human owners out there - do you get "the lecture" every year? You know - the finger pointed at your nose and something to the effect of no raising legs in the house? For cryin' out LOUD! I KNOW THIS ALREADY! Doesn't she get it? The tree has NO SMELL! Why would I waste a perfectly good marking for nothing? Not to mention being punished. I haven't been punished for anything in 7 years, I'm certainly not going to do anything now. I hate being outside. So, I just sit there like a good boy and lick her finger while she gives me this pointless lecture.

    If anything, I'm happy not to have to go to that hell-hole kennel this year. What a bunch of FREAKS!! All that barking for no reason and all those weird smells. The food SUCKS. I never sleep in those places. Last time she left me there I didn't speak to her for a whole 8 hours. Yep, I just came home and went to sleep. I don't deserve that torture. Thank goodness I don't have to go to that piss pit again this year. Ugh!

    I really wish Grandpa was coming this year. I love that man. He gives me all the good stuff I never get to eat. We've got our sneak-and-eat plan down pat. He sneaks it to me and I eat it.

    Oops! She's taking a break! I gotta sneak back downstairs to my favorite spot in front of the sliding glass door.

    All you other human owners have a great holiday - hope you get lots of treats and none of you have to go to one of those skanky kennels this year. Of course, if you get a chance to sneak on the computer, feel free to share your holiday human stories too!

    Cheers!
    Apollo
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  2. 25 Comments

  3. by   RN always
    oooohh! I love it. That makes me smile and warms my heart. I just want to squeeze you Apollo.
  4. by   renerian
    That is the dogs perspective I am sure of that!!!!!!!!!


    renerian
  5. by   Lausana
    Apollo gets an "A", good spelling and grammar Tell Vegas you deserve a bite of human food for that
  6. by   OBNURSEHEATHER
    Hey, I'm not complaining or anything, but I did get a rather suggestive PM from Apollo. He's cute and all, but I just don't go that way.

    Heather
  7. by   baseline
    Dear Mr. Apollo,
    My name is HRH Miss Murphy Brown, Queen of the Corgi's and all that surrounds me. I am very cute....everyone says so...and of course I am the Queen. You are very handsome, and I was wondering what you might be doing New Years Eve......I am small in stature, but am all Rottweiler on the inside and can out bark ANYBODY so I can save you if it becomes necessary. No need to be afraid.....I AM the Queen............
  8. by   OBNURSEHEATHER
    Dear Apollo...

    Hello, my name is Budd E. Dogg. Or Buddy, as I am often called by my momma OBNURSEHEATHER. We should get together sometime, as I would enjoy a good sniff of your boys. I'll even let you sniff mine. Then we could drink out of my mom's new toilet!

    Let me know!

    Buddy
  9. by   sunnygirl272
    Originally posted by OBNURSEHEATHER
    Hey, I'm not complaining or anything, but I did get a rather suggestive PM from Apollo. He's cute and all, but I just don't go that way.

    Heather
    yeah, riiight...(wink, wink) we all know you like to do it doggie-style!!!!
  10. by   baseline
    UMMMMMMMMMM.........nah....gonna let it slide by...... :-)
  11. by   kristi915
    Vegas, will you control that bad boy!?
  12. by   LasVegasRN
    Originally posted by baseline
    Dear Mr. Apollo,
    My name is HRH Miss Murphy Brown, Queen of the Corgi's and all that surrounds me. I am very cute....everyone says so...and of course I am the Queen. You are very handsome, and I was wondering what you might be doing New Years Eve......I am small in stature, but am all Rottweiler on the inside and can out bark ANYBODY so I can save you if it becomes necessary. No need to be afraid.....I AM the Queen............
    Damn, baby. Back in the day I would have worn your little royal behind OUT. Alas, I'm an old guy now, 13 years in human time.
    And just after having sired 2 litters (12 pups and 14 the second), I got robbed of the family jewels.

    Sorry, girly. Just too pooped to pop. Although, I can still sniff ya.


    Smooches,
    Apollo
  13. by   LasVegasRN
    Originally posted by OBNURSEHEATHER
    Dear Apollo...

    Hello, my name is Budd E. Dogg. Or Buddy, as I am often called by my momma OBNURSEHEATHER. We should get together sometime, as I would enjoy a good sniff of your boys. I'll even let you sniff mine. Then we could drink out of my mom's new toilet!

    Let me know!

    Buddy
    I am THERE, man!! Got any bytches in heat? I'm shootin' blanks but still like to chase the girlies. Heh heh.

    Apollo
    Last edit by LasVegasRN on Nov 27, '02
  14. by   tiger
    hi i'm sugarbear. i am fixed(so my parents tell me). i don't remember much about it. my little sisters(precious, tiny, and beauty) are bugging me cause they want to date you too. i tried to tell them it will not work--only i, the rott, will be able to tame you. i look alot like your pics, but my mom has no scanner. anyway, pm if interested. i am a hot mama!!!!!!!!!

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