Yeah, hey, it's me, Apollo. I snuck up here while she's downstair's putting up that blasted no-smell tree. I have yet to understand why she puts a tree with absolutely no smell in the house. Same time every year. Then I have to endure listening to the Stones and Van Halen at full blast while she's put that thing up. Why Mick Jagger and David Lee Roth inspires her to work so diligently I have no idea.
Oh! And you other human owners out there - do you get "the lecture" every year? You know - the finger pointed at your nose and something to the effect of no raising legs in the house? For cryin' out LOUD! I KNOW THIS ALREADY! Doesn't she get it? The tree has NO SMELL! Why would I waste a perfectly good marking for nothing? Not to mention being punished. I haven't been punished for anything in 7 years, I'm certainly not going to do anything now. I hate being outside. So, I just sit there like a good boy and lick her finger while she gives me this pointless lecture.
If anything, I'm happy not to have to go to that hell-hole kennel this year. What a bunch of FREAKS!! All that barking for no reason and all those weird smells. The food SUCKS. I never sleep in those places. Last time she left me there I didn't speak to her for a whole 8 hours. Yep, I just came home and went to sleep. I don't deserve that torture. Thank goodness I don't have to go to that piss pit again this year. Ugh!
I really wish Grandpa was coming this year. I love that man. He gives me all the good stuff I never get to eat. We've got our sneak-and-eat plan down pat. He sneaks it to me and I eat it.
Oops! She's taking a break! I gotta sneak back downstairs to my favorite spot in front of the sliding glass door.
All you other human owners have a great holiday - hope you get lots of treats and none of you have to go to one of those skanky kennels this year. Of course, if you get a chance to sneak on the computer, feel free to share your holiday human stories too!
Nov 27, '02
Originally posted by OBNURSEHEATHER
Hello, my name is Budd E. Dogg. Or Buddy, as I am often called by my momma OBNURSEHEATHER. We should get together sometime, as I would enjoy a good sniff of your boys. I'll even let you sniff mine. Then we could drink out of my mom's new toilet!
Let me know!
I am THERE, man!! Got any bytches in heat? I'm shootin' blanks but still like to chase the girlies. Heh heh.
Last edit by LasVegasRN on Nov 27, '02