Update - I'm Gonna Scream or Go Crazy

  1. Hi - Quick update - My husband has been home since Friday. I gave him the ultimatum - but of course we now have 2 + feet of snow. He finally got off to work today - he was supposed to leave for CA on Sunday, but all flights were cancelled.

    He continues to say he wants to fix it, and then again, doesn't know if he wants to fix it. He had a "tiff" with my 13 year old daughter this morning and when I tried to see what the deal was he went on raving that the reason he goes out with other women is because at home nobody cares about anything or respects him blah blah blah so he deserves to have a nice time and this is how he chooses to do it. Since he doesn't get physical (supposedly) with them (although he did at least once that he admitted to) he sees no problem with this.

    I explained to him that I do see a problem with it as would most people. I also explained that if he stayed here and tried to work it out the only losers would be me and the kids since we had purchased a new home to move them to a better school and now that it is cancelled we don't move, no new house, no new school and he still gets to stay here with no consequences - same old, same old. I explained that the only ones paying for his mistakes would be the kids and I. He still doesn't get it.

    I legally have no right to throw him out. Of course, I could leave, but then I'm deserting the "marital home". He is driving me absolutely nuts.

    I told him that he needs to make a decision - go and get some counseling at which I would go with him if he'd like and if we get back together then that is good, but I need to move on with my life as do the kids. We can't just keep wondering when daddy is going on a date or what we would do to tick him off to send him on another date.

    I know I'm ranting, but between him and being snow bound for 4 days I'm going bonkers:roll
    Gayle
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  2. 11 Comments

  3. by   debyan
    Sounds like mental abuse, isn't that a legal reason to toss him out in a snowbank? deb
  4. by   Stargazer
    Gayle, it sounds to me like you need your lawyer intervening here. Stat.

    And good for you for not falling for his self-serving crap anymore.
  5. by   dingofred
    Get out by hook or crook.....
  6. by   GayleD
    Well, he called from work and "decided" that he won't leave until he talks to a lawyer!! He says he'll stay in the spare bendroom in the basement until then - Doesn't want to do anything stupid - duh!!! As soon as some of this snow dissapates I'm going to get back with my lawyer - All he had to do was leave and now he's making it ugly
    Oh well, his choice not mine - Keep you posted!
  7. by   Lausana
    Sounds like it's finally registering with him you're serious! GOOD! Keep taking care of yourself :kiss
  8. by   tabbeycatt
    Originally posted by GayleD

    He continues to say he wants to fix it, and then again, doesn't know if he wants to fix it. He had a "tiff" with my 13 year old daughter this morning and when I tried to see what the deal was he went on raving that the reason he goes out with other women is because at home nobody cares about anything or respects him blah blah blah so he deserves to have a nice time and this is how he chooses to do it. Since he doesn't get physical (supposedly) with them (although he did at least once that he admitted to) he sees no problem with this.


    I told him that he needs to make a decision - go and get some counseling at which I would go with him if he'd like and if we get back together then that is good, but I need to move on with my life as do the kids. We can't just keep wondering when daddy is going on a date or what we would do to tick him off to send him on another date.

    Gayle, I can't believe he is using the kids as an excuse for his midlife crisis. It is by far not your kids fault he is cheating. Or your's for that matter. What a guilt trip to put you and the kids on by saying that. He sounds very selfish to me. Does he not care that a comment like that can mentally abuse your child? Obviously, the only person he is concerned about right now is himself.

    You stay strong.... you're doing the right thing by putting yourself and your kids first.
  9. by   Tweety
    Hang in there. Best wishes.
  10. by   natsfanrn
    Gayle--
    I pm'd you...
  11. by   BadBird
    Gayle,

    Go to a lawyer immediately and have him evicted. Don't play games with him and don't give him the right to make all the decisions, get a lawyer and follow the lawyers advice, don't even tell him you are going, just do it. Good luck
  12. by   LasVegasRN
    Originally posted by BadBird
    Gayle,

    Go to a lawyer immediately and have him evicted. Don't play games with him and don't give him the right to make all the decisions, get a lawyer and follow the lawyers advice, don't even tell him you are going, just do it. Good luck
    Exactly. Do it now. That is bullshyt what he is doing.
  13. by   Robin61970
    (((((HUGS)))))) All I can offer.....keep your chin up..we are here......

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