My husband's cousin is 18. She's a very mature and responsible girl. I like her alot, more than I like my own cousins. About once every other month, we do a movie and dinner, just us girls. We get along, and I trust her.
So when I went to 12 hour shifts, I needed someone to pick my son up from school every other Friday (2 days a month) at 3:10, and watch him until hubby could pick him up around 5pm. She volunteered, and I was elated!
Tonight I met her for our usual dinner (we decided to skip the movie) and her "friend" Kevin is with her. Whatever. No biggie. I didn't particularly enjoy being a 3rd wheel, but I ate and I drank and I'm cool with it.
But this "Kevin" mentions something about my son, about what a smart kid he is, how he noticed that when he was with my cousin to pick him up from school once. I didn't really want to make a big deal about it right there, I figured I'd pump the kid for info when I got home.
So I talk to my son and ask him, and he says yes, he was with her twice. I ask him what they did. (Did they go to his house, her house, drive around, what?) He said the first time he can't remember, but the second time they went to their friend's house and he played Playstation by himself. I asked where the cousin and "Kevin" went. "Upstairs." He says she didn't tell him not to tell me, but that he didn't because he thought it was something I would be mad at.
I explained to Brian that I'm not mad at him, and that telling me was the right thing. I told him that taking care of him was the most important job in the world, and anybody that couldn't do it the way I want it done won't be doing it at all. I really wanted him to know it wasn't his fault.
But I'm just beside myself about the cousin. UGH! I don't know if I should just tell her I've made other arrangements and not really address why because she's (hubby's) family and I don't really want to make waves here, or if I should make a big deal out of it. Or maybe I'm making too big a deal out of it all?
The thing is, it IS a big deal to me. I can't get over this. That's my kid, and I pay her to watch my kid and she's not. I EXPECT that whomever has him considers him a priority, and she hasn't. That's very offensive to me.
UGH. If you've read this far, thank you. Any thoughts, ideas, or suggestions are appreciated.
Jan 17, '03
Geesh, there's no reason that she can't wait until after 5 to "go upstairs" especially if she only has to babysit 4 hours a month and is being paid.
Maybe go with the approach that Brian mentioned he misses spending time with her one on one like before, maybe you won't neccesarily have to make a big fuss this time
and she'll take the hint that you've caught on to the boyfriend being with her..? Hopefully at 18 she's old enough to get it
Last edit by Lausana on Jan 17, '03