'Twas the day after Christmas . . .

  1. [font="franklin gothic medium"]my sis sent me this, enjoy!

    twas the day after christmas, and all through the house
    nothing would fit me, not even a blouse.
    the cookies i'd nibbled, the eggnog i'd taste
    at the holiday parties had gone to my waist.

    when i got on the scales there arose such a number!
    when i walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber),
    i'd remember the marvelous meals i'd prepared:
    the gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared,
    the wine and the rum balls, the bread and the cheese.

    and the way i'd never said, "no thank you, please."
    as i dressed myself in my husband's old shirt
    and prepared once again to do battle with dirt---
    i said to myself, as i only can:
    "you can't spend a winter disguised as a man!"

    so--away with the last of the sour cream dip,
    get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip
    every last bit of food that i like must be banished
    'till all the additional ounces have vanished.

    i won't have a cookie--not even a lick.
    i'll want only to chew on a long celery stick.
    i won't have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie,
    i'll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.

    i'm hungry, i'm lonesome, and life is a bore---
    but isn't that what january is for?
    unable to giggle, no longer a riot.
    happy new year to all and to all a good diet!
  2. 4 Comments

  3. by   LeahJet
    Ohhh...how I can relate!!
    That was very funny.....and very true........

    I started last Monday with my "cutting calories/no sugar/no bread/ smaller portions/smarter choices" thing. It actually hasn't been that bad. I'm not calling it a diet...that's too depressing...
    But I have noticed after only a week, that the "handles" over my jeans are smaller!
  4. by   mercyteapot
    Very cute.

    Very true.
  5. by   dianah
    Leah, you're an inspiration! I need those handles to shrink as well!! One day at a time, I keep telling myself: one day at a time!!!
  6. by   Jessy_RN
    oh so true......