Trouser Leg Deficit.

  1. A recent, as yet unpublished study in our local psychiatric unit has revealed a hitherto undiscovered diagnostic tool. Working closely with the hospital linen room supervisor, a colleague of mine, having noticed in his practice that many schizophrenia sufferers very often wore trousers which were too short, set up a study to compare the average Trouser Leg Deficit with a control group.
    Using a selected panel of lay observers, he arranged a catwalk, down which both patients and the control group,( recruited mainly from the staff, with the promise of a beer in the hospital social club later ) walked at random, in front of the observers. The subjects were only visible from the knees down, and the observers wore headphones, playing classical music, to avoid their accidentally gaining cues from the occasional subject's inadvertently responding to auditory hallucinations. Using only the Trouser Leg Deficit as a guide, the observers were asked to estimate whether or not the subject had schizophrenia.
    Once the linen room supervisor had measured each subject's TLD, the estimates were compared, using a program of my colleagues own devising, on the ward's Commodore 128 computer. We were amazed to discover a statistically significant concordance, with an eventual outcome of exactly 1.75 inches as the mean minimum TLD which is 95% accurate in diagnosis of schizophrenia. It was later established that a TLD of more than 3 inches indicates that the subject is a fashion victim.
    Before submitting this study for publication, I asked that we expose it to comment from our peers, and today seemed the most appropriate time.
    Comments please!
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  2. 8 Comments

  3. by   NurseDennie
    Ah. Trouser length deficit. Obviously a corollary of ear-lobe size as an indicator of inability to drive correctly, specifically the inability to reach and/or maintain the lawful and/or reasonable speed limit. If you come up behind a driver whose ears you are able to see from behind, you should pass at the first possible opportunity.

    I think you should RUSH to publish before some group without such ethical and scientific rectitude gets in there before you do!

    Love

    Dennie
  4. by   semstr
    Hey, Don very interesting!!
    We did a similar study last year April, with shirts-arm-lengths.
    Amazing isn't it?!

    Take care, Renee
  5. by   kaycee
    We have been calling TLD something different for years.
    We call them flood pants around these parts and yes they are usually worn by a special group of people. Haven't studied them though, might be an interesting thought.
    I think I'll wait until yours is published Don and then I'll compare. Great work by the way. Possibly Nobel Prize material!
  6. by   micro
    ah yes flood water pants=trouser leg deficit

    schizophrenics in my humble opinion have to much other stuff going on.....that fashion is the least of their worries.........

    DM, want a signed copy of your dissertation.k'
  7. by   hiker
    Actually, I must admit, I am quite bigoted in regards to people with teeth deficits, myself. Missing teeth make me automatically think a person is remiss in self-care. I do realize, however, that dental care is sooo exhorbitant, that many cannot afford it.
  8. by   CATHYW
    you all are too much! what a valuable diagnostic tool! as a corollary, i would suggest obtaining shoulder-to-the waistband of trouser measurements. i would expect that one would find a profound decrease in the distance between the two, as compared to the rest of the "sane" world.:roll it has been my experience that when you see a person wearing "high-waters ," as we call them down here, you will find the same person has the trousers pulled up and belted near the nipple line. in scientific terms, the posterior view would be called "getting a wedgie."
  9. by   night owl
    LMAO!!! Cathy, reminds me of that guy on Saturday Night Live. Grimley. What was his name??? Ed. I must say...
  10. by   Jenny P
    DM, our tongues are firmly tucked in our cheeks here! How does that saying go? "You can fool some of the People all of the time; and all of the people some of the time; and no one on April Fool's day!

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