Tooooooo Funny

  1. They're Back! Church Bulletin Bloopers: Thank God for church Ladies with
    >typewriters. These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or
    >were announced in church services:
    >
    >* * * * * *
    >
    >Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa, will be speaking tonight
    >At Calvary Methodist. Come hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.
    >
    >The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
    >
    >The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water." The sermon
    >tonight: "Searching for Jesus."
    >
    >Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in
    >The recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.
    >
    >Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid
    >Of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your
    >husbands.
    >
    >The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled
    >Due to a conflict.
    >
    >Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community.
    >Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say "Hell" to someone who doesn't
    >care much about you.
    >
    >Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
    >
    >Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again, "giving
    >obvious pleasure to the congregation.
    >
    >For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a
    >nursery downstairs. Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir.
    >They need
    >all the help they can get.
    >
    >Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more
    >transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of
    >Pastor Jack's sermons.
    >
    >The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir
    >will sing: "Break Forth Into Joy."
    >
    >Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the
    >church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
    >
    >A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church
    >hall. Music will follow.
    >
    >At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What
    >Is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.
    >
    >Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition
    >of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
    >
    >Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be
    >recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
    >
    >Please place your donation in the envelope a long with the
    >deceased person you want remembered.
    >
    >Attend and you will hear an excellent speaker and heave a
    >healthy lunch.
    >
    >The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment
    >and gracious hostility.
    >
    >Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow
    >The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind.
    >They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
    >
    >This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across
    >from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
    >
    >Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies
    >are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. is done.
    >
    >The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation
    >would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next
    >Sunday.
    >
    >Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please
    >use the back door.
    >
    >The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church
    >basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend
    >this tragedy.
    >
    >Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church..
    >Please use large double door at the side entrance.
    >
    >The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign
    >slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours."
    >
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  2. 9 Comments

  3. by   CCU NRS
    bump for the night shift
  4. by   CCU NRS
    hope everyone enjoyed these as much as i did
  5. by   maire
    ROFLMAO!!!!!!!! :roll
  6. by   dianah
    Seen 'em before, loved 'em then!

    Thanks for the re-bump!
  7. by   Mkue
    Quote from CCU NRS
    hope everyone enjoyed these as much as i did
    YES..thanks for posting Chris..love those :redpinkhe
  8. by   pickledpepperRN
    They are funny!
  9. by   akcarmean
    thanks I liked them
  10. by   z's playa
    Funny! :chuckle
  11. by   abundantjoy07
    *grin*

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